Chapter 20 #2
“It’s none of my business. I know that. But I saw the meds, and I was curious. I’m sorry, but I want to understand, and if that’s the reason you think this can’t happen, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“How can you say that without even knowing what it is?”
“The only thing that matters to me is that we do whatever we can to beat it, so we can spend as much time together as possible.”
Do whatever we can. We. As in the two of them. Together. Was he for real?
“I’m not going to beat it.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not something I’ll ever get rid of. It’s something I’m learning to live with.”
“What is it exactly?”
“Rheumatoid arthritis.”
“Oh.” He released a deep breath. “That’s a relief. I thought it was cancer.”
“It’s not cancer, but it’s going to eventually be an even bigger deal than it is now.”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“Okay, we’ll deal with that when it happens.”
“Finn, you need to hear me when I tell you that’s not how this is going to go. We had a nice time last night, but that’s all it’s ever going to be.”
“Why are you lying to both of us?”
“I’m not lying.”
“Yeah, you are. What happened between us last night wasn’t a one-night stand, Chloe. It was the start of something much more significant.”
“No, it wasn’t!”
“Yes, it was!”
They didn’t say another word to each other until he parked outside of Rebecca’s diner.
He shut off the engine but made no move to get out.
After a long, charged moment of silence, he said, “I have never felt this way about anyone. Ever.” He looked over at her.
“If you don’t feel the same way, I can live with that.
But don’t lie to me, Chloe. Please don’t lie to me.
I was there last night. I know you feel the same things. ”
“I do, but—”
“No buts. We will deal with this together, and we’ll figure it out together.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do that to you.”
“What are you doing to me besides giving me what I most want? A chance to be with you.”
“You don’t know what you’d be taking on.”
“Then tell me.” He released his seat belt and turned in his seat to face her. “Tell me what you’re so worried about.”
“For one, there will come a time, possibly sooner rather than later, when I can’t work anymore.”
“Okay.”
“It’s not okay! If I don’t work, I don’t have insurance. If I don’t have insurance, I’m totally screwed.”
“I’ll put you on my insurance. What’s your next concern?”
She stared at him, incredulous. “It’s not that simple.”
“It can absolutely be that simple. What else have you got for me?”
Returning his mulish look with one of her own, she said, “RA could just be the start. I could end up with other conditions.”
“Okay. What else?”
“I could have fertility issues.”
“Okay. And?”
“The meds that work so well right now could stop working.”
“Okay.”
“My hips hurt all the time. That could make sex difficult at best, impossible at times.”
“We’ll work around it. Anything else?”
“I may need care that can’t be provided here. Infusions and stuff they can’t do at the clinic.”
“So we’ll go to the mainland or move there if that’s where you need to be.”
“Finn, honestly, you’re very sweet, but—”
He leaned across the console to kiss her and then, keeping his face very close to hers, looked her dead in the eyes. “I haven’t heard one thing that has changed my mind about what I want. I’m all in with you, Chloe Dennis, and with Ranger. I want you. I want him. I want us.”
“You could have anyone, Finn. Why in the world would you want to take this on?”
“Because I’m crazy about you, and I have been from the second you smacked your head into mine.”
It was all she could do to hold it together when she wanted to bawl her head off. Was he for real? “Um, you smacked your head into mine.”
Finn dragged a finger over her cheek. “It was all you.” He kissed her again. “Are we all straight now?”
“No, we are not straight.”
“I want you to know—it means a lot to me that you talked to me about this. At least I understand now why you thought we couldn’t happen.”
“You’re moving back to the mainland,” she reminded him.
He took her by the chin. “Sweetheart, as long as you’re here, I’m not going anywhere.”
Chloe felt like she was dreaming. He had systematically dismissed every reason she had given him for why they shouldn’t be together. Her emotions were all over the place as she tried to process the last ten minutes.
Sweetheart, as long as you’re here, I’m not going anywhere.
Hearing those words out of his sexy mouth as he looked at her with affection and desire had been among the greatest moments of her life. Hell, it had been the greatest moment. It would take a lot to top that.
He guided her into the diner with his hand on her lower back. She loved the way he touched her, as if he couldn’t be near her and not touch her.
When they were seated across from each other in a booth, he continued to study her in that particular way of his that made her feel more seen than she’d ever been by anyone. “What’re you thinking?” he asked as they studied their menus.
“So many things.”
“Such as do I want an omelet or French toast? Those kinds of things?”
Could he be any cuter? “Among other things.”
He tossed his menu aside and leaned in, giving her his full attention. “Like what? I want to hear all the thoughts.”
Finn McCarthy’s full attention would overwhelm the strongest of women. Chloe was off her game after the emotional conversation in his truck and definitely not at her strongest.
“I want you to know… I appreciate everything you said.”
“Don’t you dare add a ‘but’ to that statement.”
Rebecca came over holding two coffee mugs in one hand and a pot of coffee in the other. “Morning. Coffee for both?”
“Please,” Chloe said.
Finn nodded. “Me, too. Thanks.”
Rebecca put the pot on the table and pulled out her pad and pen. “Take your order?”
He gestured for Chloe to go first.
“I’ll have the egg white veggie omelet with an English muffin, please.”
“I’ll do the bacon and cheddar omelet with white toast, please.”