Chapter 5
Julia slept fitfully, infuriated by strange dreams about Deacon Taylor, of all people.
Why in the hell was she dreaming about a man she’d known for all of one day?
Granted, it had been a rather awesome day, which she hadn’t expected when she’d arrived for Katie’s wedding.
She’d anticipated another difficult, sad, emotional day, like Owen’s wedding had been for her.
Yesterday had been all those things until Deacon showed up.
He’d been surprisingly… nice and insightful. In addition, he was a great dancer, a fun companion and a gentleman. At the end of the evening, he’d walked her back to the Surf and left her at the front stairs with a hug and thanks for a fun time.
As she’d gone inside, aware of him watching her, she’d felt strangely let down, which was ridiculous.
She wanted nothing from him or any other man.
So what possible reason could she have for feeling deflated by the way their awesome day together had ended?
She’d told him she was on a man diet, a dick diet, for crying out loud.
She cringed when she recalled telling him that.
What did she think was going to happen after he had that information?
And what exactly had she hoped for?
“Ugh,” she said in a growl that thankfully only she could hear. She was so frustrated by everything lately. And now she had to get up after sleeping like shit, pull herself together and pretend to be fine in front of her family for one more event before the wedding weekend was finally over.
She’d perfected the fine art of pretending to be okay so they wouldn’t be up in her business. That’d been easier since Katie moved to Gansett. Without her nurse sister watching over her, Julia had been able to relax somewhat. Enough to let some old bad habits back into her life.
She had that under control.
Mostly.
This weekend had been a test, but she was determined to get through brunch and then figure out her next move.
She sat up and groaned. Her head hurt from too much champagne and not enough food.
The story of her life. When her emotions were in an uproar, she found it all but impossible to eat.
As her emotions had spent years in an uproar while she was growing up with an abusive, domineering father, she’d worked her way into anorexia by the time she was in middle school.
She’d graduated to bulimia in high school.
Even after Katie had sounded the alarm and gotten her into treatment—twice—followed by years of intensive therapy, the old fiends still reared their ugly heads often enough to remind her she had control over nothing.
Stress, anxiety and depression exacerbated her disorders, and she’d been suffering all three lately.
As a result, eating had been a chore, and she’d lost weight she didn’t have to lose.
She had to be careful until Katie left on her honeymoon.
Her twin knew the signs of trouble in Julia better than anyone and was always vigilant when they were together.
Julia hadn’t told her sister the latest about what Mike had done to her.
The last thing Katie needed was her maid of honor showing up to her wedding dragging a suitcase full of drama.
There’d been a time when Julia’s problems had been Katie’s and vice versa.
Although Katie had fewer problems than Julia, or so it seemed.
All the Lawry kids walked around with emotional scars from their tumultuous childhood.
Some were better at hiding them than others.
Katie had coped by never dating—at all—until she met Shane.
Julia had taken the exact opposite path, and look at where that had gotten her.
Lonely, broke and basically homeless.
Her stomach grumbled at the same instant a wave of nausea hit.
That happened far too often. She’d feel hungry and nauseated at the same time.
Doctors had told her over and over to feed the nausea, but that was so much easier said than done when a lump the size of a grapefruit basically lived in her throat during times of distress.
Most of her life had been a time of distress, thus the eating issues.
Julia got up, showered, washed and dried her hair and brushed her teeth.
She studied her reflection in the mirror with the usual feelings of inadequacy.
Her eyes were too close together, her nose too prominent, her cheeks sunken.
All she saw were flaws. Others told her she was beautiful.
She didn’t see it. She’d never been able to see what they saw in her.
She put her long dark hair up in a bun and got dressed in a lightweight summer dress since the brunch was being held on the hotel’s deck. The forecast was for a warm, sunny day.
A knock sounded at her door, and Julia went to answer it. As usual, the sight of her beloved grandmother, Adele, raised Julia’s spirits. Adele and her husband, Russ, had been a lifeline to Julia and her siblings. She hugged her grandmother.
“Good morning, my love. I hope you slept well.”
Julia tried to respond, but she couldn’t get the words out as her emotions overtook her. Being around her grandmother often had that effect on her.
“Julia, honey, what’s wrong?” Adele released her and stepped into the room, closing the door.
“Everything is wrong. Every single thing.”
She guided Julia to sit with her on the unmade bed. “Talk to me.”
Julia was too ashamed of what’d happened with Mike to tell even her grandmother about it. “Things in Texas are a mess.”
Thankfully, she didn’t ask for specifics. “So stay here for a while. Spend the summer in your favorite place.”
“I honestly don’t have a choice. I lost my job, I’m broke and all but homeless since I didn’t have the money to renew my lease.”
“You’ll never be homeless as long as I’m around. Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve sent you the money.”
“You’re the best, Gram, but I’m not taking your money.”
“Why not? I gave your brother a hotel. The rest of you are our heirs. Why wouldn’t I take care of you now rather than after I’m gone?
Your mother has come into a fortune through Charlie, and they’d happily give you whatever you needed.
” The state had given Charlie half a million dollars for each of the fourteen years he’d spent unjustly imprisoned.
“You have a lot of people who love you and would do anything for you.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m not taking charity from you or Mom or anyone else. I’ll figure it out. I didn’t tell you this because I wanted you to fix it.”
“You’ve always been my sweet, stubborn girl.
” Adele’s pretty, lined face lit up with a smile.
“I admire that about you. You’ve been so fiercely independent from the time you were a little one.
No one could tell our Julia what to do or think.
She had her own ideas about everything.” Adele put her arm around Julia.
“I’ve always wished that you could see what I see when I look at you. ”
Julia leaned her head on Adele’s shoulder. She liked the way she looked to her grandmother.
“Spend the summer here with us. We’ll make everything that’s wrong better.”
“You always do.”
“That’s what grandmothers are for.”
“I need a job. You know of anyone who’s hiring?”
“I heard about something just yesterday at bridge that might be perfect for you. Let me make a phone call and see if it’s still available.”
“Thanks, Gram.”
“My pleasure, love. I know that sometimes it takes more than a summer on Gansett to fix what ails you, but a couple of months in your favorite place is a good place to start.”
“Yes, it sure is.”
Deacon shaved and tried to find a shirt nice enough for the occasion so he wouldn’t embarrass Julia—or Sarah, who’d been kind enough to invite him.
As he rifled through the clothes he’d thrown into a bag while Blaine had waited impatiently for him to pack what he needed for the summer in exile, he seethed all over again at the memory of his older brother standing over him, telling him what was going to happen.
“You’re coming home to Gansett with me for the summer,” Blaine had said, “and that’s the end of it. Otherwise, I’m going to let them charge you with assault.”
Blaine hadn’t wanted to hear the reason for the fight.
After he got the call that his younger brother was in trouble, Blaine hadn’t heard anything but the sound of his own voice.
Deacon had been a bit of a troublemaker as a kid, getting caught drinking, smoking pot, doing what kids did when they were trapped on an island with nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Because their father had worked on the mainland during the week and their mother had younger kids to care for, Blaine had responded to the calls when Deacon screwed up.
Once, while still in high school, Deacon had been caught screwing the mayor’s daughter out at the bluffs.
They were both sixteen at the time, and that might’ve blown up into a nightmare if it hadn’t been for Blaine agreeing to personally ensure that Deacon would never go near the girl again.
He’d liked that girl a lot and had resented Blaine for years for making such a promise on his behalf.
Every time he got Deacon out of one of his scrapes, good old Blaine had acted like Deacon had robbed a bank or committed murder.
However, putting up with his sanctimonious brother had been far preferable to the wrath of his parents.
For all his faults—and he had many faults—Blaine had never ratted Deacon out to their parents.
He’d cleaned up Deacon’s messes and kept his secrets.
After the bar fight, Deacon had told the local cops he was retired from the job in Boston, which had gotten him a cell with no one else in it.
During the long night he’d spent alone in that cell, he’d debated whether he should tell them that his brother was the police chief on Gansett Island.
When Deacon heard he might be looking at a felony charge, he’d played the brother card.