Chapter 8 #2
“I’m on a man diet.”
“Huh? A man diet?”
“Also known as a dick diet.”
Katie cracked up laughing. “That’s not really a thing, is it?”
“It is, and you’d know that if you’d ever dated anyone other than your husband.”
“I was holding out for perfection.”
Julia rolled her eyes. “For the rest of us mere mortals, there’s nothing but frogs in the swamp, and I, for one, have had enough frogs to last me a lifetime. So I’m on a diet. No men, no dicks, no headaches, no heartaches.”
“For how long?”
Julia shrugged. “Four months so far.” Since the day she’d learned the full extent of Mike’s betrayal. “Maybe forever.”
“That’s silly. What if Deacon turns out to be the one you’re meant to be with and your so-called dick diet keeps you from something that could be really great?”
“None of them are really great, Katie.”
“Shane is. Owen is. Charlie is. David is. I know lots of men who’re amazing husbands, boyfriends, partners.
Ask Mom how great Blaine was to her when she first arrived on the island, devastated and hurt from the last run-in with Dad.
Mom adores Blaine, and I’m sure his brother shares a lot of the same qualities. ”
“He could be the best man in the whole world, and it wouldn’t matter. All men are radioactive.”
“Does he know that? Because judging by the way he was staring at you during brunch, he’s not aware that he’s off-limits.”
Julia wasn’t sure how she felt about hearing Deacon had been staring at her. “He knows because I told him.”
“You came right out and told him you’re on a dick diet?”
“Yep. I also said I’m not dating at the moment, so if he’s hanging around hoping I’ll put out, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening.”
“Huh.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s just that I’m surprised. You love men—and dick. I never thought you’d actually give up either.”
“I’m fed up with it all. Men are nothing but trouble, and since dicks are attached to men, I’m giving up both.”
“Won’t you miss it? The dick part, that is.”
“Eh, not really. I’ve spent my entire adult life proving Dad right about me. It’s time to prove there’s more to me than how I look.”
Katie went very still. “Proving Dad right about what?”
“You know. What he said about me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.” Julia’s brain raced as she tried to recall telling Katie. “I’m sure I told you.”
“I’m sure you didn’t, so how about you tell me now?”
Julia didn’t want to. She didn’t want to say the hateful words out loud and give them new power over her—or Katie.
“Tell me.”
With the genie out of the bottle, there’d be no stuffing it back in.
“When I told him I wanted to go to college, he said there was no point. He said I’d spend my life on my back because when men look at me, they see I’m good for only one thing.
You know how he was always commenting about my body and how I look. ”
Katie stared at her.
“I told you that.”
“You most certainly did not.” Katie blinked back tears. “I hate him so much, for so many things, but that…” Tears rolled down her cheeks.
Julia couldn’t bear to see Katie cry.
“This is why,” Katie said softly.
“Why what?”
“It’s why you starved yourself.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Of course it is, Julia. You did it so you’d have control over something that mattered to him. He was so proud of how beautiful you are, and you did it so you wouldn’t be beautiful to him anymore.”
“That’s not true. He had nothing to do with it.”
Katie wrapped her arms around Julia and held on tight.
“He had everything to do with it.” After a long period of quiet, Katie released Julia to wipe tears from her face.
“You know, when he called Owen after the trial and told O how he’d been abused as a child by his father and that’s why he treated us the way he did, part of me wanted to forgive him.
I mean, we all know what kind of damage abuse does to a child.
But it’s stuff like this, what he said to you, that I’ll never forgive him for. ”
“It was a long time ago, and it doesn’t matter anymore.” Julia refused to give him any more power over her than he’d already exerted. Even with him in prison, locked away for years to come, the thought of him could still make her skin crawl.
Desperate to shake off thoughts of a man she’d much sooner forget than ever think about again, she pulled free of Katie’s embrace. “I need to get going. Deacon probably thinks I got lost.” Julia stood to run a brush through her hair and finish packing her bag.
Katie came up behind her and put her hands on Julia’s shoulders, compelling her to turn and face her twin. “Will you do one more thing for me while I’m gone?”
“If I must…”
“Don’t write Deacon off before you have a chance to get to know him. If he’s anything at all like his big brother, he’s one of the good ones.”
Julia had already seen indications of him being a good guy but was wary enough to keep him firmly classified in the friend category. The last thing she needed with her entire life in an uproar was any sort of romantic complications.
Katie gave her an adorably imploring look. “Do it for me?”
“Ugh, why you gotta say it that way?”
“Because I know it’ll matter to you.”
Katie was well aware that there was almost nothing Julia wouldn’t do for her or any of their siblings. “Fine. Whatever. Go away and have sex with your husband.”
Katie waggled her brows. “Already did that this morning.”
“Now you’re just being a cocky bitch.”
Katie’s laughter sparked Julia’s. It felt good to share a laugh with her sister after the tears.
Julia hugged her tightly. “Go on ahead. I promise I’ll be fine. Enjoy every minute of your trip and the time with Shane. You deserve every happiness.”
“So do you.”
“If you say so.”
“I say so, and I’m in charge.”
“Easy, killer.” Katie had been the leader and Julia the follower, and that dynamic had worked well for them. But now Katie had a whole new life with Shane, and Julia needed to figure out her own crap, without Katie leading the way.
The sisters walked downstairs together, where they found Deacon sitting on the front porch with Adele.
She brightened at the sight of her granddaughters. “There she is,” Adele said, focusing on Julia.
Deacon stood, and when her eyes met his golden-brown gaze, a tingle of awareness overtook her.
What the hell was that about? It was Katie putting ideas in her head, that’s all.
He was just another good-looking guy who was probably interested in one thing and one thing only.
She’d be wise to keep their friendship strictly platonic.
If she didn’t let him get to her, there was no way he could hurt her.
“You ready?” Deacon asked.
“I am if you are.”
“Let’s do it, then.” He surprised Julia when he bent to kiss Adele’s cheek. “Thank you for the company.”
Adele fanned her face dramatically. “It was entirely my pleasure.”
Deacon laughed, and again the tingles electrified her, making Julia realize she needed to be very careful with this one.