Chapter 23
Mason was losing his mind as he tried to carry on like everything was normal when nothing was.
Ever since Jordan had left yesterday, he’d felt like he was trying to walk straight up the side of the steepest mountain on earth.
He had no energy, no motivation, no interest in anything—except her.
He’d listened to the message she left on his phone the day of Syd’s accident easily a hundred times the night before, desperate for any connection to her that he could find.
He dragged himself to an AA meeting the next morning because he was self-aware enough to know by now that something like this could threaten his sobriety—if he let it. That couldn’t and wouldn’t happen.
Seated next to Mallory, he did something he hardly ever did and raised his hand when Nina asked if anyone wanted to share.
She seemed as surprised as all the other regulars were to hear from him.
“I’m Mason, and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hi, Mason,” the others said in unison.
“I’ve been sober for thirteen years.”
“Congratulations,” one of the tourists said. “That’s amazing.”
“I have a really good life here on the island. I’m the fire chief. Got a good group of people working for me, have great friends, and I love this place.” He rubbed at the chin he’d shaved clean an hour ago. “I met someone. She’s…” He leaned on his knees and bent his head.
Mallory’s hand landed on his back in a show of support he deeply appreciated.
“She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known. Sweet and funny and so, so beautiful.
I’ve never connected with anyone the way I did with her.
We’ve only been together for a short time, but I already love her.
I really love her. But her life is mostly in LA, and that’s where she is now, trying to figure things out.
I don’t know when or if she’s going to come back.
All I know is I love her, and she’s gone, and for the first time in a really long time, I’m seriously tempted to drink. ”
Saying the words out loud took some of their power away, or so he hoped.
He’d been dying for a drink since he got home last night and found that his house smelled like her, his sheets smelled like her, his towels smelled like her.
He saw her everywhere he looked, and the only thought in his head was how much he wanted a drink.
He’d nearly called Mallory and Quinn the night before out of sheer desperation. But he’d powered through and told himself he had to get his shit together. He couldn’t go off the deep end over a woman he’d only just met, even if she was the best woman he’d ever known.
“How are you planning to combat the urge to drink, Mason?” Nina asked.
“By keeping myself so busy with work and exercise and friends that I don’t have time to drink. It’s the nighttime that’s going to be hard.”
“You’re having dinner with us tonight,” Mallory said.
“You can come to my place tomorrow night,” Nina said.
One by one, every member of the group took a night until they nearly had him in tears. “Thank you,” he said gruffly.
“That’s what we’re here for,” Nina said. “To get each other through the hard times and to fight the urge to drink the same way you and your team fight fires. As a group.”
Mason nodded. “I appreciate the support.”
After the meeting, Mallory and Quinn insisted on buying him breakfast.
Mason went with them because he knew they needed to see he was all right before they went their separate ways.
“You could’ve called last night,” Mallory said when they were seated at Rebecca’s.
“I almost did.”
“Any time, my friend,” Quinn said. “Day or night. Any time.”
“Means a lot to have such good friends.”
Blaine came into the diner, saw them and came over to say hi.
“Want to join us?” Mallory asked.
“Sure.”
Mason pushed over to make room for his friend. Mallory and Quinn would never say anything about what he was dealing with, so Mason took care of catching Blaine up. “Jordan went back to LA, and I’m struggling with the desire to drink. She hasn’t even been gone a full day yet, and I’m a mess.”
“Oh damn, man. That sucks. What can I do?”
“Have him over for dinner one night this week,” Mallory said.
“Done,” Blaine replied. “What else?”
“Keep an eye on him at work?” Quinn suggested.
“I can do that, too.”
“I feel like a fool for letting something like this rock my boat,” Mason said.
“You love her,” Mallory said. “We all saw that. Of course you’re going to be rocked by her leaving. Is she coming back?”
“I don’t know. She’s meeting with the suits today about the show. They told her to get back to LA for the meeting, or they were going to sue her for breach.”
“So she had to go,” Mallory said. “It wasn’t like she wanted to.”
“No, she didn’t want to. She was upset about it.”
“That’s a good thing, Mase,” Quinn said. “She didn’t want to leave you.”
“The thing is, I’ve been down this road before.
I was supposed to get married. A month before the wedding, she said she couldn’t go through with it.
As bad as that was, and it was pretty damned bad, this thing with Jordan…
I think it could be worse, and I’ve only known her a short time.
But everything about the time with her was just… It was fucking perfect. You know?”
“Yeah,” Blaine said. “I know what that’s like.”
“We do, too,” Mallory said. “We get it.”
“If she has to stay in LA, I’ll move out there.”
“Don’t do anything hasty,” Mallory said. “You can’t give up your job and your whole life unless you know for sure she feels the same way. As hard as it is, you have to let it play out the way it’s meant to.”
“I waited a long time to find perfect.”
“I know, but now that you have, you need to be patient and give her some room to breathe while she figures things out.”
Mallory was right. He knew it, but he didn’t like it. “I hear you.”
“You need to keep breathing, too.” Mallory reached across the table for his hand and gave a gentle squeeze. “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
That, too, was true, but God, it was hard to know she was out there somewhere and so far away from him as to be living on a different planet. He would do as Mallory suggested and be patient and stay calm and hope for the best.
For now.
Jordan thought she was ready for the meeting with the show’s producers and the network that broadcast it, but when she walked into the room full of familiar faces, all she felt was dead inside.
When they’d first been approached about doing the show, it had seemed like the most exciting thing that could ever happen.
She’d lived a lifetime and a half since then, and all she wanted was something simpler and more meaningful.
She wanted Mason, even if he was the second guy she’d ever slept with. She wanted him and had no doubt he wanted her just as much. She was about to bet her life on it.
“You good?” Gigi asked when they were seated together on one side of the conference room, across from the execs.
Jordan nodded. She’d worn a black dress with red flowers on it, red heels and was carrying the black Chanel purse she’d bought when Brendan’s tour took them to Paris for the first time.
“Jordan, it’s so good to see you looking so well.
” Matilda Spencer, the executive producer and show runner, smiled warmly at her.
She was forty-five with red hair and green eyes and was one of the smartest people Jordan had ever met.
It was thanks in large part to Matilda’s hard work that the show was such a hit.
“Thank you.”
“We’re very excited to get back to work on the new season.”
Now or never, she told herself. Tell them what you want. “About that…”
Gigi glanced at her, her expression full of trepidation.
“I’d very much like to do another season,” Jordan said.
The relief on the faces across the table was palpable.
“But I want to do it on location.”
“Oh my God,” Gigi said, her expression incredulous and perhaps a bit angry. “Could I please have a moment with my client?”
“We don’t need a moment,” Jordan said to her friend. “I heard what you said last night, and I agreed with most of it. But sometimes you do fall in love with the second guy you ever sleep with, and you do get happily ever after with him.”
“No, that doesn’t actually happen.”
“Yes, it can happen.”
“Who do you know that’s had that happen and had it work out?”
“Gigi, I love you. But I also love Mason, and I want to be with him.”
“You barely know him!”
“I already know him better than I ever knew Brendan, and he’s good to me. I’ve never had anything like what I have with him, and I’d like to think I’m smart enough after everything I’ve been through to know a good thing when I find it.”
“Um, excuse me,” Matilda said as the other suits exchanged confused glances. “I don’t mean to interrupt this lovely moment, but could someone please tell me what the hell we’re talking about here?”
“Yes, please, Jordan,” Gigi said. “Why don’t you fill them in?”
Jordan took a deep breath, held it for a second, then released it and met Matilda’s intense gaze. “I’m planning to relocate to Gansett Island in Rhode Island, and I’d like to film the new season of the show there.”
For a long moment, there was only silence.
Jordan forced herself to hold Matilda’s gaze without blinking or otherwise showing the nervous reaction she was having on the inside. This was what she wanted, and she was going to do everything she could to make it happen.
“I’m sorry,” Matilda said, “but did you just say you want to film your show, which is about two LA women living their best LA lives, on a remote island in Rhode Island? Or did I hear that wrong?”
“You heard me right.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand. What sort of show do you think we could produce on an island in the middle of nowhere?”
“The same kind of show we do here. Me, my friends, my family, my life.”
“Your friends including Gigi?”
Jordan glanced at her oldest and dearest friend, hoping she could find a way to support something Jordan wanted desperately, silently pleading with her to at least consider it.