Chapter 8
They were going crabbing. Gigi hadn’t signed on for that when she agreed to be Jordan’s sidekick on the show. Then again, she hadn’t signed on for a summer on Gansett Island either, but there she was. The things she did for her best friend. But crabbing? That might be going too far.
What did it even mean to go crabbing? Matilda, the show runner, had explained that it was something people loved to do on the island, and it would make for a fun segment for the show.
Gigi disagreed, but no one had consulted her.
Jordan, that perky, well-fucked bitch, was all smiles as they rode in one of the show vans to McCarthy’s Gansett Island Marina, where they were shooting.
They’d already endured an hour in hair and makeup that was intended to make them look “casual and sexy.” Everything about the show was focused on the sexy, including the skimpy sundresses they wore over skimpier bikinis.
“Why are you so grumpy?” Jordan asked as she scanned her Instagram account.
“I’m not grumpy.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Anyone is grumpy next to you. How many times did you get lucky last night with that six-and-a-half-foot mother-effer with the ten-inch cock?”
Jordan laughed as she always did at the way Gigi described Mason. “Just once. It was a slow night.”
“Ugh, you’re such a bitch.”
Jordan cracked up again. “Maybe if you got some, you wouldn’t be such a grumpy beast.”
“You bring me to this place for an entire summer while you’re off humping like a randy rabbit, and you expect me to be as happy and perky as you are?”
“I am not a randy rabbit.”
“You’re fucking like one.”
“I’m in love. You ought to try it sometime.”
“Ew, no, thank you.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it.”
“I’m good. You and your sister are enough to give me cavities with all the sweetness and sugar you’ve got going on.”
“You could use some sweetness. What about that young thing you were out with the other night? If you got busy with him, maybe it would change your disposition.”
“My disposition is going to stay just like this until I’m back in LA where I belong.”
“So that’s a no with Cooper?”
“I like Cooper.”
“But?”
“No buts. I like him. He’s fun and cute and funny.”
“Then why not take him for a spin?”
Gigi shrugged. “What’s the point? I’m leaving soon, and he’s putting down roots here, starting a business.”
“The point is to have some good sex to make everything look better, even crabbing.”
“Nothing can make crabbing look better. What does that even mean, anyway?”
“We’re going to catch crabs.”
“So much I could say to that, including I don’t want to catch crabs.”
Jordan snorted at her double meaning. “I hear it’s fun.”
“How in the world can catching crabs be fun?”
“I guess we’ll find out.”
When they arrived at the marina, Big Mac McCarthy greeted them with a warm smile and a firm handshake. “Welcome to our humble marina,” he said. “We’re honored you chose us to be on your show.”
“Thanks for having us, Mr. McCarthy,” Jordan said. Her sister, Nikki, was engaged to Big Mac’s nephew Riley.
“Call me Big Mac, honey. Everyone does. Come on in and have a bite of one of our famous sugar doughnuts.”
Gigi’s mouth watered at the words sugar doughnuts.
She couldn’t recall the last time she’d eaten anything in the doughnut or sugar families.
The marina was well-kept and chock-full of boats.
On the long wooden pier that extended into the Salt Pond, people were enjoying the late summer day on the water.
“Will your doughnuts sweeten up my partner in crime?” Jordan asked. “She’s not feeling enthusiastic about the day’s activity.”
Gigi sent her a foul look that made Jordan smile like the blissed-out fool she was these days.
“Our doughnuts make everything better,” Big Mac said.
They were led into a large building that opened right onto the pier. At the counter, Big Mac ordered two coffees and a half-dozen doughnuts.
“I hope you’re eating some of them,” Jordan said.
“We won’t let them go to waste,” he said. “Don’t worry.”
The young woman behind the counter was obviously trying to hold her shit together in the presence of Jordan and Gigi.
“Are you a fan of the show?” Jordan asked sweetly.
She was so sweet these days, but getting laid two or three times a day—on a usual day—would do that to a girl.
“I love your show. I watch it with my friends in the dorm at college.”
“We’d be happy to sign something for you all.”
The girl’s eyes bugged out of her head. “I, uh, I’ll be right back.”
She disappeared behind the back wall and came back a minute later with a notepad and pen that she thrust at them.
They signed messages to Monica, Samantha, Emily and Tori.
“They’re going to lose their minds,” Monica said. “Thank you so much.”
“How about a picture to go with it?” Jordan asked.
Gigi wanted to stab her, but she posed for the photo that Big Mac took of them with Monica.
“Thank you so much,” Monica said, her eyes glistening. “You’ll never know what this means to us.”
“Thanks for watching,” Jordan said, nudging Gigi.
“Yes, thanks for watching.”
“We can’t wait to see the show from Gansett. No one can believe that I work where you guys are filming.”
“Let’s give the ladies a minute to enjoy their coffee before they’re needed.” Big Mac smoothly guided them out of Monica’s clutches and led them to a picnic table on the pier. “Although, I’m sure you’re used to finding adoring fans everywhere you go.”
“We’re very fortunate that people seem to like the show,” Jordan said.
“My wife and I love it.”
“Seriously?” Gigi said. “You’re not exactly our target demographic.”
Jordan scowled at her.
“Sorry, no offense intended.”
Big Mac laughed. “None taken. Watching two adorable, funny young women is certainly no hardship. We laugh our asses off at every episode.”
“That’s nice to hear.” Jordan pointed to Gigi. “She’s the funny one.”
“You’re both funny,” Big Mac said.
When Gigi took the smallest possible bite of doughnut, just to be polite, the greasy sweetness exploded in her mouth. Holy mother of God, that was good. “You gotta try this.” She broke off a piece of hers and handed it to Jordan, who popped it into her mouth.
“Damn, that’s delicious. Gimme more.”
They’d each eaten a full doughnut by the time Matilda came looking for them.
“We’re ready for you, ladies.”
“Duty calls,” Jordan said.
“I’ve been hired to teach you how to fish for crabs,” Big Mac said. “Let’s have some fun.”
“Can hardly wait,” Gigi muttered, earning an elbow to the gut from her BFF. “Ow.”
They followed Big Mac down a ramp to a floating dock that had smaller docks attached to it.
“Be nice,” Jordan whispered. “My sister is marrying into his family.”
“Duh. Thanks for reminding me. I might’ve forgotten that if you hadn’t.”
“I’m going to hire Cooper to sweeten you up.”
“Stay away from Cooper. He’s off-limits.”
“Hmmm,” Jordan said, flashing a mysterious grin that wasn’t so mysterious.
Maybe Gigi shouldn’t bring him to the dinner party if Jordan was in the mood to meddle. Before she could share that thought with Jordan, their attention was required to learn how to bait rusty hooks with raw, slimy hot dogs.
Disgusting. With the camera rolling, Gigi had to pretend she was deeply invested in this activity when she’d rather be anywhere else.
She had no idea why she was in such a state today, but the dark moods came on her without warning and never for any good reason.
Sometimes they were short-lived. Other times, they stuck around for a while.
“Crabs really like hot dogs?” Jordan asked Big Mac.
Was it Gigi’s imagination or did Jordan suddenly look a little green as the smells of diesel fuel and rotting seaweed filled the air. Huh, wonder what that’s about, Gigi thought.
“They love them. We’ve tried all kinds of other bait, but nothing gets their attention like a hot dog does.” He made sure the piece of hot dog was firmly attached to the hook. “Now, the secret to catching crabs is patience.”
Great. Gigi was fresh out of patience on a good day. But since she didn’t want to have to reshoot the segment, she feigned interest and went along as she and Jordan baited the hooks with hot dogs while trying not to retch at the gross feel of the raw meat.
“Okay, now drop your lines into the water,” Big Mac said.
Gigi looked down and was surprised to realize she could clearly see the bottom—and the crabs that were scurrying around like they were out doing their morning errands or something.
As one of them approached her baited hook, she held her breath, waiting to see if he—or she, how did one know such things with crabs, anyway?
—decided whether the bite of hot dog was worth the risk.
“I’ve got one,” Jordan said with a screech of excitement.
“Raise it up slowly,” Big Mac said. “Nice and easy. That’s it.”
Jordan’s line cleared the water with a gigantic crab attached to it.
Gigi instinctively took a step back, and only Big Mac’s hand on her back kept her from toppling off the other side of the skinny dock. “Keep that thing away from me!”
Big Mac took the crab by one of its claws and held it up for inspection. “That’s a good one, Jordan. He’ll be a competitor.”
“A competitor in what?” Gigi asked.
“The crab race we’ll have at the end.”
“We’re going to race crabs?” Gigi had never heard of anything crazier than that.
“Yep.” Big Mac put Jordan’s crab in a bucket of water. “That’s the best part.”
Gigi would have to take his word for that. As she looked down to check her hook, she saw a crab bigger than the one Jordan caught taking an interest in her bait. She held her breath, hoping it would come a little bit closer and then…
“Bring him up,” Big Mac said. “That’s a good one.”
Gigi slowly wrapped her line around the spool, barely breathing as she waited to see if the ginormous crab would hang on long enough to break the surface. He did! Big Mac grabbed him and held him up.
“That’s the granddaddy of crabs,” he declared.
Gigi felt inordinately proud to have caught the granddaddy. “I want another one,” she said, tossing her baited hook back in the water.
“I’ve got one!” Jordan said.