Chapter 23
Cindy made a salad for dinner and forced herself to page through some of her old journals as an idea had taken root in recent months.
She wanted to write about their family’s ordeal and had begun some tentative steps in that direction.
But tonight, her mind continued to wander—and wonder—making any kind of concentration nonexistent.
She was asleep on the sofa when the front door opened, startling her awake.
The clock on her phone read ten twenty. She sat up and pushed the hair back from her face.
Jace dropped into the chair across from the sofa. He looked exhausted. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She hoped he might say more, but when he didn’t, she asked, “Everything all right?”
“I think it will be, but today was just… a lot.”
“What happened?”
His deep sigh conveyed a world of exhaustion. “Seamus and Carolina have been going through the stuff that came with the boys from Lisa’s, and there were photos of us that Jackson saw, which had him asking about me and how I knew their mom.”
“Oh,” Cindy said on a long exhale. “Oh God.”
“Yeah… We told them the truth.”
“How did that go?”
“It was rough, but we got through it. They had questions. I answered them truthfully.” He shrugged. “It was…” Shaking his head, he seemed to sag into the chair.
Cindy didn’t take even one second to think about what she was doing or how upset she’d been earlier over the hours of silence when she got up and went to him, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around him.
He responded in kind, his arms closing around her in a tight hug. “I’m sorry I went missing. I hope you weren’t worried.”
“I was a little worried.”
“It was one hell of a day. I stayed to have dinner with them and helped put the boys to bed. After that, the three of us had a badly needed drink before I walked home.”
“You walked all that way in the dark?”
“I needed the air to clear my head.”
“I’m sorry you had such a tough day.”
“I’m glad they know the truth now, as hard as it was to tell them. They were primarily concerned about whether they were going to have to live with me now. I told them they would be staying with Seamus and Carolina, but I hoped to be a friend to them, if they’d let me.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for telling them the truth while knowing it might change how they feel about you.”
“That was my greatest fear, but they deserved the truth, so that’s what I gave them.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “And PS, it’s worth a lot that you’re proud of me.”
“Can I say something else?”
“Anything you want.”
“Even though I know why now, it was upsetting to me when you went dark for most of the day, especially after last night. That triggered some… insecurities for me.”
“I should’ve texted you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. It was just an insane day.”
“I understand. Now.”
He ran his hand over her face. “I never want you to feel insecure.”
“And yet, I do. About many things.”
“I hate that I made you feel that way. You have no reason to be insecure about anything with me. I couldn’t wait to get home and talk to you about everything that happened.”
Hearing him say that made her feel so much better than she had earlier. “I’m glad I was here for you.”
“So am I. But I want you to talk to me about these insecurities so I can try not to do anything to make them worse.”
“That’s a complicated topic, and you’ve already had a complicated day.”
“I’ve got room for more. Talk to me. I want to understand.”
Cindy tried to gather her thoughts. “Like everything in the Lawry kids’ lives, it goes back to our father, who never minced words in telling us the things he didn’t like about us.
He’d tell my sisters and me that men were going to take advantage of us because we were pretty and good for only one thing. ”
Jace’s face went flat with shock. “He did not say that.”
“Yes, he did, and so many other horrible things, such as ‘no man is ever going to be interested in your brain, so I’m not paying to send you to college.’”
“I’d like to kick him in the balls for saying such a thing to you guys. That’s horrible—and not true. You want to know the first thing I liked about you?”
“Um, sure.”
“It was how you’re always smiling and happy and in a good mood. I very quickly started to look forward to you coming in because you’re like a ray of sunshine, lighting up my world. And that was before I got to know you and found so many other things to like.”
“That’s very sweet of you to say.”
“It’s true, and soon, I couldn’t get enough of talking to you about everything and nothing. The fact that you’re gorgeous didn’t hurt anything, but it wasn’t the first thing I noticed.”
“You want to hear a confession?”
“Absolutely.”
“I’ve never spent that much time in a bar in my life.”
Jace laughed as he tipped her chin up for a kiss. “I sort of guessed that by the way you guzzle water.”
“With lemon. Don’t forget that.”
“Fanciest cocktail I’ve ever made for anyone.”
“Sure it is.”
“I hope you know how much your friendship has meant to me since I came here, knowing no one, but wanting to live closer to my boys.”
“Your friendship has meant just as much to me. I came for a visit and ended up staying indefinitely. And now I have this whole new life here that I’m really enjoying.”
“Any part in particular?” he asked as he kissed her neck.
“Well, there’s this sexy bartender I’ve taken a liking to. He makes a mean ice water, but he’s not very good at checkers.”
“Hey! That’s because you cheat when I’m not looking.”
“I do not!”
“I’m going to look at the security footage.”
“You go right ahead. You won’t see anything but raw skill on the video.”
Smiling, he kissed her again. “Thanks for this. I needed it after today.”
“I know it might seem hard to believe right now, but soon this will be a distant memory to the boys. If you keep showing up for them, they’ll accept you as their father and allow you to play a role in their lives.”
“I plan to keep showing up for them.”
“That’s all you have to do. It’ll matter to them that you told them the truth when they asked. Take it from someone whose father never showed up for her. That will mean everything to them.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you the way he did.”
She shrugged. “I survived it. We all did, and that’s what matters. Your sons are lucky to have you in their lives—and they know that. That’s why they didn’t tell you to get lost when you told them the truth.”
“I was so afraid they would.”
“Kids just want to feel safe and loved. I’m sure you gave them both those things today.”
“Thanks for letting me come home and drop this on you.”
“I’m glad you dropped it on me.”
“Do you forgive me for making you feel insecure?”
“That’s my issue, not yours.”
“It’s our issue if I’m the cause of it.” He trailed his fingertip over the outline of her jaw. “I never want to be the cause of that.”
“It matters to me that you care.”
“You matter to me, and I do care. A lot.” He lifted her chin and kissed her softly and sweetly, but the minute their lips connected, the fire from the night before ignited between them.
Her lips—and other important parts—were still sore, but that didn’t stop her from clinging to him as one kiss became two and then three.
“You make me crazy,” he whispered as he kissed her neck.
“Right back at you.”
“Should we take this somewhere more comfortable?”
“Why not?” She was falling hard and fast for him, but for once, she couldn’t find a single reason to hold back or slow things down. She could always find a reason to hold back, but not with Jace.
He helped her up and then followed her toward the bedrooms. In the hallway, he kissed her cheek. “Go get comfortable. I’m going to grab a quick shower.”
“Okay.”
Cindy changed into a T-shirt, got into bed and tried to calm her racing heart and hyperactive libido.
She nearly giggled at the thought of having a hyperactive libido.
That was so not like her. She was usually so busy trying to protect herself from being hurt that she didn’t allow herself to let go with a man.
Jace was an exception to all her usual rules.
As she waited for him, she tried to find some semblance of control, but she felt nothing but a desperate need for more of the way he made her feel.
He appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, wearing only a pair of formfitting boxer briefs. And holy God, the man was indeed hot as fire.
Cindy held out her arms to him, and he came down on top of her, picking right up where they’d left off in the living room. If this was insanity, it was the best thing she’d ever experienced.
Jace couldn’t get enough of her. He’d come home wound up after a rough day, but she’d provided him with a warm, soft place to land that made him thankful to have her in his life.
All he wanted, especially after hearing how he’d made her feel insecure by going dark all day, was to show her how much he appreciated her.
He tugged on her T-shirt. “You’re overdressed for this party.”
“Take it off.”
As he helped her out of her shirt, he loved how free she was with him, how giving and open, and yet, he understood, somehow, that was unusual for her.
They’d shared a connection from the first night she came into his bar that had only grown with every subsequent meeting.
He trusted her, which was something that didn’t come easily to him, especially after years in prison.
It was amazing to realize he’d trusted her immediately. That was truly a first for him, and it was why he was here, in her bed, kissing her senseless and loving every second he spent with her, because he felt safe with her.
“I thought about this all day today, even when I had other things I needed to deal with,” he whispered as he kissed the tip of one perfect breast. “I was still thinking about you and this and how sexy you are and how much I couldn’t wait to be with you again.”
She grasped his head to keep him anchored to her chest as she lifted her torso to press her heated core against his erection.
“Did you think about me, too?”
“Just a little,” she said on a laugh. “I could still feel you inside me all day.”
Jace groaned at hearing that. He kissed her belly and then moved down until he was poised between her legs with only a thin scrap of fabric separating them. He pushed her panties out of the way and pressed his tongue into her sweetness, pulling back when she winced. “Are you sore, love?”
“A little.”
“Then we’ll do this nice and easy.”
True to his word, he kept the strokes of his tongue and fingers as soft and gentle as he could manage, taking her on a slow, sensual ride that had her nearly pulling the hair out of his head as she urged him on.
He drew back a little, making her groan, before starting over and finishing the job this time.
She cried out as she came, her muscles tightening around the finger he had inside her and making his cock want in on this in the worst possible way, but not when she was sore. He moved up, kissing a path between her breasts, to her neck and then her lips as his erection pressed against her warmth.
He shivered from the effort to hold back.
“It’s okay,” she said. “We can.”
“No, you’re sore.”
“I want to.”
“Are you sure?”
She looked up at him with big eyes and nodded, her hands coasting down over his back to pull him to her. “Just go slow.”
“I can do slow.” Jace removed her panties and entered her in tiny increments, waiting for her to tell him to stop. “Are you okay?”
“Mmm, yeah.”
He gave her a little more even as he heard his phone ringing in the other room.
Ignoring that, he focused all his attention on Cindy, wanting her to feel as good as she made him feel.
As he moved in her, he had the strangest feeling of homecoming, as if all the hell he’d been through had somehow been leading him to her, to this, to them.
God, she was sexy and sweet and so, so perfect in every way.
As he kissed her and made love to her, he vowed to do whatever was necessary to keep her close to him for as long as he possibly could. In just two nights with her, he could no longer imagine life without her.
His phone rang again.
He ignored it.
“Should you get that?” Cindy asked.
“I will. After.”
Pressing his fingers to her clit, he coaxed her into another orgasm that sent him straight to heaven. Coming down off the highest of highs, he’d nearly forgotten about his phone until it rang again. He withdrew from her reluctantly and got up to see who the hell was blowing up his phone.
Seeing three missed calls from Seamus, he nearly had a heart attack. He put through a call to him.
“Oh, thank you, Jesus. I didn’t know who else to call this late.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Right after you left, Carolina fell getting out of the shower and broke her leg—badly. They’re going to medevac her to the mainland, and I need someone to stay with the boys.
Joe and his family are in Ohio, and my cousin is off-island wedding shopping.
We were going to call Mac and Linda, but it’s so late and—”
“Seamus, I’ll do it. Of course I will.”
“Are you sure, mate? It’s a lot to ask.”
“I’m positive. Where are the boys?”
“At the clinic with me.”
“I’ll be right there.” He put down the phone and went to the bathroom to clean up. “I have to go get the boys,” he said to Cindy. “Carolina fell and broke her leg. They’re taking her to the mainland.”
“Oh my God.” She put on her T-shirt and joined him in the bathroom. “Do you need help?”
“I don’t know what I need.”
“Can I come with you? Between the two of us, we can figure it out, right?”
He caressed her face and kissed her. “I’d love if you came with me. Thank you.”
They cleaned up, got dressed, packed a quick overnight bag and were on the way to the clinic in minutes, hoofing it across town as a chilly early-September breeze blew in from the waterfront.
Jace held her hand as they walked. “I’m really sorry this happened when we were, you know, busy.”
“Don’t be. They’re your kids. They come first.”
“They never have before, you know? Like, I’ve never had to stop what I was doing to be there for them. Not once in their entire lives have I done that.”
“You’re doing it now, and that’s what’s important.”
“Thanks for coming with me. That means a lot. I have no idea what I’m doing with two little boys.”
“You’ll figure it out, and the good news is, they’re old enough to tell you what they need.”
“True. Thank God for that.”
Cindy laughed. “You’ve got this. Just take it one minute to the next.”
“It’s a big deal that he called me to help with them. I don’t want to let him down.”
“You won’t.”
“Means a lot to me that you have so much faith, even with what you know about me.”
“All I see is a man determined to put his life back together and do the right thing by the people he cares about.”
“I like how that man looks to you.”
Cindy squeezed his hand. “I like how he looks, too.”