Chapter 30 #2
The waiter came by to take John’s drink order and to run down the specials. He asked for Maker’s Mark bourbon on the rocks.
“Bourbon, huh?” Niall asked, smiling.
“You can’t live in Tennessee for long and not develop a taste for such things.”
“I’ll take your word for that. I’m more of a Guinness kind of guy myself.”
“So I’ve noticed.”
When the waiter returned with John’s drink, Niall held up his glass. “Here’s to new friends.”
John touched his glass to Niall’s. “To new friends.”
As Cindy swept up after her last customer of the day, she felt the telltale signs of a headache forming and took the medication she always had with her for when that happened.
Hopefully, it would kick in fast and nip the headache in the bud.
Sometimes it worked, other times it didn’t.
Her stress level had been high the last few days as she’d navigated around a broody, quiet, withdrawn Jace.
Following his shift at the bar last night, he’d fallen asleep on the sofa and spent the night there.
After only a few nights sleeping together, she’d missed having his body wrapped around hers and had slept fitfully as she wondered if he was going to bounce back from the crushing disappointment.
She totally felt for him in this situation and understood how hurtful it had been for him to be kicked off the gig with the boys because of his past. It was easy to see how he must be wondering what more he had to do to get past all that.
But she was also sad for herself. The few days before the incident had been among the best of her life, and since then, she’d been left feeling adrift inside her own relationship.
He’d promised not to cut her out of what he was thinking and feeling, but he’d done it anyway, and she had no idea how to bridge the chasm that had formed between them.
The ache of their situation had hung over her all day as she’d made small talk with clients and gone through the motions at work, and it was probably why she had a headache forming. Stress had always been one of the worst triggers for her.
As she leaned on the broom, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and released it slowly, determined to reset her heart and mind so she might stave off the headache and get herself back on track, whether that was with Jace or without him.
When she opened her eyes, movement outside the glass doors to the salon caught her attention. A huge bouquet of flowers appeared in the window.
Intrigued, Cindy went to unlock the door.
The flowers were lifted toward her.
“Who goes there?” she asked, amused.
Jace put the flowers aside to reveal his face. “’Tis I, asking the fair maiden for a chance to apologize for being a moody jerk for days.”
Smiling and filled with relief at the gesture, she said, “Come in.” After Jace stepped into the salon, she closed and locked the door again.
He held out the bunch of colorful blooms. “Peace offering?”
She took them from him and breathed in the fragrant scents of lilies and roses. “They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”
“I’m sorry about the last couple of days.”
“You seem better. Are you?”
“I guess so. Something shitty happened. There’s nothing I can do about it, so there’s no point in letting it infect the rest of my life, or so I’ve been told by people wiser than me.”
“I was worried about you.”
“I’m sorry for that, too.”
“And I was worried about us. It’s all so… new. I wasn’t sure how to handle distant, withdrawn Jace or whether I was welcome to try.”
He stepped closer to her, gazing down at her with the warmth and affection she’d missed so much. “You’re welcome in every corner of my life.”
“That’s good to know.”
Caressing her face, he said, “I’m sorry if I made you wonder about that.”
“I understand that what happened was a kick in the teeth for you.”
“It was just a reminder that you can’t escape the past entirely, no matter how hard you try.”
“No, you can’t, but you also have to remember that the past made you who you are today, and I like who you are today.”
“That makes me feel incredibly lucky.” He took the flowers from her, set them on the reception desk and then put his arms around her. “I’m sorry for checking out on you. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
“I’d say it was okay, but it was stressful, and stress isn’t good for me.”
“Do you have a headache?” he asked, brow furrowed with concern.
“The start of one.”
“Are you done here? Let’s go home, and I’ll pamper you.”
“You’re not working tonight?”
“Nope. I’m down to just Saturday nights at the Beachcomber now that I have a day job.”
“How’s that going? You haven’t said much about that, or anything, for that matter.”
“It’s been good. I like working with Mac and his cousins. Did you know your brother is working for him, too?”
“Yes, that’s what he’s doing instead of going to Tampa.”
“Yep, and he’s very good at construction.”
“He did that for a lot of years in high school and college. I never imagined he’d go back to it after getting his degree. He must really be into Kelsey.”
“From what he says about her, it seems like he is.”
Relieved to be back on a somewhat normal footing with Jace, Cindy gathered her things, picked up the flowers and followed Jace out the door, turning to lock up.
He put his arm around her for the walk home. “We need a car.”
“Do we?”
“Shane has been picking me up the last few days, but I need to get my own wheels. I saw a truck for sale out on the east side, but I haven’t had a chance to go look at it.”
“We can do that on Sunday if you want.”
“Sure.”
“You don’t want to?”
“I feel like I shouldn’t make any big decisions.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just this feeling that it would be a mistake to get too comfortable in my new life here.”
Cindy’s heart sank when he said that. How could she help him to see that he was safe to get comfortable? She wanted him to be more comfortable with her than he’d ever been with anyone, but how could she help get him to that point?
She was no closer to an answer when they got home.
Under the sink, she found a vase Kevin had left when he moved out, added water and arranged the flowers, placing them on the kitchen table.
She was staring at them, still thinking about what he’d said, when he came into the kitchen and put his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.
“What’re you thinking about?” he asked.
“What you said about not being comfortable here.”
“I’m preconditioned to expect everything to go to shit. The thing with the boys was a reminder not to get complacent.”
Cindy turned so she could see him. “What do you think is going to happen?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, but something always happens.”
“That was before, when you were strung out on drugs and doing whatever it took to get more of them. That’s not who you are anymore, so why do you still assume things won’t work out?”
“Because it always goes to shit.”
“Not anymore it doesn’t. A well-respected business owner gave you a job, knowing your background.
You’re a hardworking guy who’s been clean for years.
You work hard on your sobriety every day.
You show up to work on time, ready to give it your all.
You care about your sons and your friends.
You need to learn how to appreciate the good things. ”
“The bad has always outweighed the good for me.”
“What if that isn’t the case anymore? I mean, this, with us… It’s pretty good, right?”
“It’s way better than pretty good.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to suddenly wake up and decide I don’t want this or you anymore.”
The vulnerability she saw in his eyes touched her heart. “How do you know that?”
“I love you, Jace. Those aren’t just words to me.”
He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. “Those are the best words I’ve ever heard, and I love you, too.”
“You’re going to have to have some faith in me, in yourself, in this new life you’re building.”
“It might take me some time to stop anticipating doomsday.”
“I’ve got plenty of time. Do you?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I want to spend as much of my time as I can with you. Is that what you want, too?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then we shouldn’t have any problem making this work, but you have to talk to me when you’re feeling unsettled or worried. I can’t help if you don’t share it with me.”
“I’m not used to having someone who wants to share the load.”
“Well, now you do, and the only way this works is if you let me in, Jace. All the way in. Can you do that?”
He drew back to look down at her, and she was relieved to see the tension that had gripped him for days was gone. “I can try like hell.”