Chapter 20 #2
“I had planned to wait until I got married.”
“I know, and if you want to get married, we can do that whenever you want.”
“Jeff, be serious.”
“Kelsey, I’m as serious about you as I’ve been about anything in my life.”
“You’re twenty-two. I’m twenty. We’re too young to talk about getting married.”
“Who says? We’re both legal adults, and we want to be together forever. At least that’s what I want.”
“I want that, too, but it just seems… We only met a few months ago.”
“Are you going to feel differently about me a year from now or two years from now?”
“Well, no, but…”
“Marry me, Kelsey. Let’s figure life out together.”
She shook her head.
“Are you saying no?” he asked, sounding hurt and surprised.
“I’m not saying no. I don’t know what to say.”
He took her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist.
She wondered if he could feel the way her heart was pounding. “What if…”
“Ask me anything. I love you. I want to be with you forever.”
“What if we get married and the sex is, you know, not good? And then you’re stuck with me… Are you laughing? Seriously?”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re so damned cute.”
“I’m not cute. Babies are cute. Grown women are not cute.”
“You’re adorable. The sex will be great because it’s you and me, and we love each other.”
“Don’t you want to be certain before you take me on for life?”
“It’s important to you that we wait, so that’s what we’ll do.”
“It was important to me to wait. Before.”
“Before what?”
“Before I met you. And now…”
“What, Kels? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“That maybe we shouldn’t wait.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you want to?”
“Yes, Kelsey, I want to, but I’ll still want to marry you whether we do that or not. I wasn’t just asking you to marry me so we could get to the good stuff. I asked you because I want to be with you always.”
“How can you know that for sure at twenty-two?”
“I feel like I’ve already lived four lifetimes with what I’ve been through.
” He’d told her about being raised by an abusive father, his struggles with drug addiction and a suicide attempt.
“All I know is that when I first met you and spent time with you, I felt calm, settled and at peace for the first time ever. It was like someone whispered in my ear, ‘There she is. She’s what you need.’ When you’ve endured what I have and find what you need, you don’t let it go, not for anything. ”
Her eyes flooded with tears that she wiped away with the back of her hand.
“Don’t cry. I’m not good with girl tears.”
She laughed as she brushed away more tears. “That was a lovely thing to say.”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do.” Kelsey would’ve thought she’d need a stiff drink and a dark room for what she was about to do, but with him, she didn’t need either of those things as she reached for the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it up and over her head.
His sharp inhale was his only reaction while he waited to see what she might do next.
She tugged at his shirt. “Your turn.”
Jeff whipped the shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside as his greedy gaze traveled over her, seeming to like what he saw. “Come here,” he said gruffly, holding out his arms to her.
Kelsey scooted across the mattress on her knees to meet him in the middle.
He put his arms around her.
She nearly fainted at the feel of his chest hair against her tight nipples.
“Feels good, right?”
“God, so good.”
“I want this to be as special for you as you are to me.”
“It will be, because it’s you.”
He brushed the hair back from her face. “You know it hurts the first time, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll try to make it so it doesn’t hurt too badly.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I never want to hurt you.” His hands moved in soothing strokes over her back, making her shiver from the excitement and anticipation.
They were really going to do this, and she didn’t feel the slightest bit hesitant. Now that she’d made up her mind, she wanted to hurry and get to the main event.
But he had other ideas as he eased her back onto the bed. “I need to make sure you’re good and ready, so it doesn’t hurt.”
“I am ready.”
“Not yet, love, but you will be. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
“Then I want you to relax and just feel. Okay?”
“Okay.” She wasn’t exactly sure what she was agreeing to, but she had faith in him, that he would take good care of her.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked.
“Um, well, I’ve never been topless in front of anyone before, so…”
He touched his tongue to the tip of her left nipple, and she nearly launched off the bed. Only his weight on top of her kept her in place. “You should be topless in front of me as often as possible. You’re so, so beautiful.”
She wanted to ask him to do that tongue thing again, but she didn’t have to ask.
He cupped both her breasts and teased her nipples with his thumbs and tongue, but when he sucked the right one into his mouth, she cried out from the sharp spike of desire she felt everywhere. The ache between her legs made her feel needy and desperate for relief.
“Jeff.”
“What, honey?”
“I’m ready.”
“Not yet. Trust me on this.” He continued to play with her breasts until she was half out of her mind with need. The storm raging outside had nothing on the one happening inside her. If he didn’t do something to ease the tension soon…
He tugged on the pajama pants and had them and her panties off in a matter of seconds. As he knelt between her legs, Kelsey tried not to be embarrassed or self-conscious or anything other than in the moment, but that was easier said than done.
“Look at me,” he said.
She forced her eyes open to look up at him as she trembled.
“Are you okay?”
Nodding, she said, “I’m trying to be.”
“You’re doing great. Are you still sure this is what you want?”
“I’m so sure.”
She was in no way prepared for what he did next, using his shoulders to push her legs apart so he could…
Oh my God. Was that his tongue? Her first thought was to try to get away from him, but he had his arm across her hips, keeping her anchored to the bed as he…
And then his fingers were inside her, touching and stroking as the urgency grew to the point that she felt like she’d shatter if he didn’t…
The sound that came from her was one she wouldn’t have recognized as herself if she’d heard it anywhere else.
“Yes, love, just like that. Let it happen.”
As if she had a choice. The orgasm crashed down on her like the biggest wave ever, pulling her up so high, she wondered how she didn’t crash into the ceiling. She felt like all the doors had opened to her, and she finally understood why people made such a big deal about—
“Oh.” The sudden, intense pressure between her legs brought her crashing back to reality. She opened her eyes to find him poised above her, held up on muscular arms as he moved slowly and carefully.
“We’ll go nice and easy, okay?”
She bit her lip and nodded, until another thought occurred to her. “Condom?”
“All set, love. I told you you’ll always be safe with me, and I meant that.”
“Tell me what I should do. I don’t know what to do.”
“Your job is to relax and breathe. Can you do that?”
“I… I think so.”
“Breathe, sweetheart. It’s all good. Just close your eyes and breathe. It’s going to hurt, but only for a second. Are you ready for that?”
“Um… I guess?” The words came out on a squeaky exhale.
He pushed hard, and the pain ripped through her, taking her breath and pulling a sharp cry from deep inside her.
As he continued to whisper to her to breathe, that he loved her and wanted to make her feel so good, he pushed deeper into her.
Kelsey gripped his biceps, her fingers sinking into his flesh.
“Does it hurt?”
She shook her head because she couldn’t speak.
“I’m sorry, love. It’ll only hurt like that once, and then it’ll feel so good. I promise.”
Kelsey was shaking so hard, she could barely think, but as quickly as it had come, the pain receded.
He kissed her face, her lips, her neck. “Talk to me, love. Are you all right?”
“Yes. I’m fine.” It had hurt more than she’d expected it to. “You… You can move if you want to.”
“I want to, but only if it feels good for you, too.”
“It does, or it will. I’m okay.”
He began to move again, slowly, tentatively, and he was right, it did feel good.
“God, Kels, nothing is better than this. Nothing in the whole world is better than you. I can’t wait to have this and you forever.”
As she held on tight to him, the big barnlike structure above them creaked and groaned as the hurricane-force winds intensified. Safe in the embrace of her love, the storm might have been a million miles away for all she cared about it.