Book 25 Resilience After Dark #9
Cindy texts John to see if he’s at the bar and asks if Jace is there. He tells her Jace called out of work, which only worries her more.
She’s asleep on the sofa when the front door opens, startling her awake at ten twenty.
Jace tells her about his day and what he had to tell the boys. His deep sigh conveys a world of exhaustion.
“Oh,” Cindy says on a long exhale. “Oh, God.”
“Yeah… We told them the truth.”
“How did that go?”
“It was rough, but we got through it. They had questions. I answered them truthfully.” He shrugs. “It was…” Shaking his head, he seems to sag into the chair.
Cindy goes to him, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around him.
His arms close around her in a tight hug. “I’m sorry I went missing. I hope you weren’t worried.”
“I was a little worried.”
“I’m glad they know the truth now, as hard as it was to tell them. They were primarily concerned about whether they’re going to have to live with me now. I told them they would be staying with Seamus and Carolina, but I hoped to be a friend to them, if they’d let me.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for telling them the truth while knowing it might change how they feel about you.”
“That was my greatest fear, but they deserved the truth, so that’s what I gave them.” He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “And PS, it’s worth a lot that you’re proud of me.”
“Can I say something else?”
“Anything you want.”
“Even though I know why now, it was upsetting to me when you went dark for most of the day, especially after last night. That triggered some… insecurities for me.”
“I should’ve texted you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. It was just an insane day.”
“I understand. Now.”
He caresses her face. “I never want you to feel insecure.”
“And yet, I do. About many things.”
“I hate that I made you feel that way. You have no reason to be insecure about anything with me. I couldn’t wait to get home and talk to you about everything that happened.”
Hearing him say that makes her feel so much better than she had earlier. “I’m glad I was here for you.”
“So am I. But I want you to talk to me about these insecurities so I can try not to do anything to make them worse.”
“That’s a complicated topic, and you’ve already had a complicated day.”
“I’ve got room for more. Talk to me. I want to understand.”
Cindy gathers her thoughts. “Like everything in the Lawry kids’ lives, it goes back to our father, who never minced words in telling us the things he didn’t like about us. He’d tell my sisters and me that men were going to take advantage of us because we were pretty and good for only one thing.”
Jace is shocked. “He did not say that.”
“Yes, he did, and so many other horrible things, such as ‘no man is ever going to be interested in your brain, so I’m not paying to send you to college.’”
“I’d like to kick him in the balls for saying such a thing to you guys. That’s horrible—and not true. You want to know the first thing I liked about you?”
“Um, sure.”
“It was how you’re always smiling and happy and in a good mood. I very quickly started to look forward to you coming in because you’re like a ray of sunshine, lighting up my world. And that was before I got to know you and found so many other things to like.”
“That’s very sweet of you to say.”
They end the evening in Cindy’s bed, wrapped up in each other.
Their lovemaking is interrupted when Jace takes a frantic call from Seamus. Carolina has fallen and badly broken her leg. They’re at the clinic, but she needs to go to the mainland. Jace needs to come get the boys, and Cindy offers to go with him. They pack an overnight bag and go to the clinic.
Jace holds her hand. “I’m really sorry this happened when we were, you know, busy.”
“Don’t be. They’re your kids. They come first.”
“They never have before, you know? Like, I’ve never had to stop what I was doing to be there for them. Not once in their entire lives have I done that.”
“You’re doing it now, and that’s what’s important.”
“Thanks for coming with me. It means a lot. I have no idea what I’m doing with two little boys.”
“You’ll figure it out, and the good news is, they’re old enough to tell you what they need.”
“True. Thank God for that.”
Cindy laughs. “You’ve got this. Just take it one minute to the next.”
“It’s a big deal that he called me to help with them. I don’t want to let him down.”
“You won’t.”
“It means a lot to me that you have so much faith, even with what you know about me.”
“All I see is a man determined to put his life back together and do the right thing by the people he cares about.”
“I like how that man looks to you.”
Cindy squeezes his hand. “I like how he looks, too.”
They wait for thirty minutes before Seamus brings the pajama-clad boys to them in the waiting room. They look as if they’ve been crying.
“Everything all right?” Jace asks as he stands to receive them.
“The poor blokes are terribly worried about Caro. We assured them she’s going to be fine, but after what they’ve been through…” Seamus shrugs.
Jace squats so he’s at eye level with the boys. “Seamus and Carolina are right. She’s going to be fine. The doctors just need to fix her leg at the hospital, and then they’ll send her back home to get better. And when she gets home, you guys will help her with everything, right?”
Jackson and Kyle nod even as their little chins quiver. They’ve had a tough, emotional day and need some rest before school in the morning.
“What do you say we get you guys home?” Jace asks.
“There’s ice cream in the freezer for good lads who do what they’re told and behave for Jace and his friend, Cindy,” Seamus says.
“We got it,” Jace says. “Try not to worry.”
“My nerves are shot, seeing my Caro hurt so bad.”
“I’m sure, but she’s going to be okay, and the boys will be, too. Guys, this is my friend, Cindy. Cindy, this is Jackson and Kyle.”
She shakes hands with them. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you guys.”
“You’re pretty,” Jackson says, giving her a goofy smile.
“Thank you,” Cindy says, amused by the comment.
“Isn’t she?” Jace smiles at Cindy as Seamus hands him the keys to his truck. “We’ll take good care of them while you take care of Carolina.”
“Thanks for this, mate. I owe you.”
“No, you don’t. It’s my pleasure.”
When they arrive at home, the boys take Burpy out to the yard and then have their ice cream before Jace tells them it’s time for bed.
He supervises them brushing their teeth and then tucks them in, telling them he and Cindy will be there if they need anything.
When he returns to the kitchen, Cindy has finished washing the ice cream dishes.
“They’re seven and eight years old, and that was the first time I’ve ever tucked them into bed that they’ll remember. I’m so ashamed of that.”
“They’ll remember the times you were there, not the times you weren’t.”
“I know, but I still feel sick to think about what I missed, what they missed, what Lisa went through on her own. So many regrets.”
“Maybe you should see the regrets as a blessing of sorts.”
“How do you figure?”
“If you didn’t have regrets, then that would mean you didn’t learn anything from everything that happened. You’ve learned so much and traveled a million miles from who you were when it all went wrong. The regret means you’ve grown.”
“I’m not sure how you manage to spin it in a way that makes so much sense, but that’s a nice way to look at it.”
“Just a suggestion.”
When Jace opens his eyes the next morning, he has no idea where he is for a full ten seconds before the events of the previous night come rushing back to remind him that he needs to get his sons up for school.
I’m getting my sons up for school.
Such a simple thing means so much to him because it’s the first time he’s ever done it. He refuses to dwell in the place of shame over everything he’s missed with them. Rather, he intends to take Cindy’s advice and be the best possible friend and role model to them now.
She’s right that the only thing he controls is the present, and he plans to make that count.
Jackson is slow to get up, but Kyle pops right up asking after Carolina.
First one up and dressed will get a prize.
He texts Seamus, asking how things are going.
Carolina made it through surgery. They might have to stay in the hospital for four days.
Seamus offers to come home, but Jace reassures him he has it covered.
Tell the boys we’ll call them tonight and to have a good day at school. I called the school, and they have your number if anything comes up. You’ve been added to the approved pickup list.
Jace has never felt more honored by anything than to be on the approved pickup list at his sons’ school. I’m on it. No worries.
We’re very thankful to you for stepping up for us this way.
And I’m thankful that you asked me. We got this.
He has just put down the phone when Kyle comes bursting into the kitchen, fully dressed, his hair combed into submission, his face washed and his backpack on his shoulders. “I win!”
“Wow, my man. Very good job.”
He feeds the boys and sends them off to brush their teeth. “Jackson!” Kyle screams. “Let’s go!” Rolling his eyes, he says, “He’s like this every day. Seamus says he’s the weak link in the morning.”
“Let Burpy out before he pees himself.”
“He’s like Jackson—not a morning person,” Kyle says. “We have to wake him up every day.”
He reminds Jace so much of Lisa with his morning cheerfulness. Jace had been exactly like Jackson as a kid. School mornings had been torturous for him.
“Make sure you feed him and check his water,” Jace says to Kyle.
“Already did. That’s my job every day ’cause Jackson can’t get himself together. Seamus says poor Burpy would starve if he was relying on Jackson.”
Jace absolutely loves knowing these little details about the boys.
Kyle looks up at him. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“What are we supposed to call you?”
Jace knows that he means now that they’re aware of his true identity. “What do you want to call me?”
Kyle shrugs.