18. Serenity
The funny thing about being surrounded by guards your entire life was that you automatically noted the weak spots. It was a skill I worked to acquire, but it felt like it was naturally ingrained in me. Which made it all the easier to know exactly where to go, exactly where to exit Gareth’s house in order to not be caught.
Easy might not be the right word. Especially as I stood next to the bed, taking one last glance at Gareth, who slept soundly after what we’d just done.
Im not as strong as you.
I’d said those words to him several times, hours ago, and meant them. If I were as strong as him, I would have told him to his face that I was leaving instead of writing it down on a piece of paper like the coward I was.
I didnt trust myself enough to not immediately crumble under his no doubt questioning stare if I’d told him to his face. He would give me that look of his, the one that had the ability to see straight through to the heart of me, and I would break. I would tell him the truth. I would tell him exactly what my father was doing and it would start a war where he could be killed or imprisoned, neither of which I could survive.
No, I most certainly wasnt as strong as him, but I was damn well trying to be. He’d saved my life in every way that mattered.
Now it was my turn.
I just hoped that after he read my letter that he’d be able to read through the lines, and forgive me when I finished doing what I needed to do.
“I love you,” I whispered, hoping above all hope that he knew that without a doubt, and wouldnt condemn me for leaving.
As quietly as I could be, I grabbed my bag and slipped out of the bedroom door, carefully tiptoeing around where I knew the guards would be, and then making my way out of one of the many back patio doors that led out to Gareth’s large property.
Once I cleared the lush grass, it was almost too easy to slip through the gates and head down two blocks to where my Lyft was waiting for me. A stranger in a car driving me to the airport so I could fly back to my previous prison.
After an uneventful flight, my blood ran cold as my Lyft driver pulled up to my fathers house, certainly the place of my ruin.
Hes worth it.
Gareth was worth everything.
I repeated the mantra as I walked up the long drive. The gates opened for me automatically, and my father was waiting at the front door.
He looked worse than he ever had before, his beard unkempt, purple beneath his eyes, and just a hint of desperation in them. He folded his arms over his chest, his face scrunching up like hed bit into a lemon as he looked me over.
“Youre late,” he chided.
“We sat on the tarmac for an hour after landing,” I said, surprised at the strength in my voice even though my entire being was trembling, cowering. It took me living an entirely different life to see just how badly he’d treated me my entire life, and now that couldnt be undone. I would always see him for what he was, but that didnt change the way my body reacted in his presence. My self-preservation instincts begged me to submit, to withhold the snarky comments, to not lash out at him and rage and provoke him.
I sucked in a deep breath, assuring myself I had a role to play. One that would make or break Gareth. And for him, I could do anything, be anything.
“Youll find your room is as you left it,” he said, still blocking the entryway to the house. “Its late. I trust you remember your nighttime requirements?”
My blood curdled, and it was all I could do to smooth my features into an indifferent mask. “I do.”
“Good. Do them. Ill see you at breakfast after youve done your exercises.”
I dipped my head the way I knew he liked, and he stepped out of my way, letting me into the house.
An eerie sense of familiarity washed over me as he followed me down the hallways as I made my way to my old room. The house that I’d grown up in now felt entirely different and unfamiliar.
The Serenity who’d been trapped in this house for years was not the same Serenity I was today. My father and his antics and this fucking house had been the reason that I didn’t have one ounce of privacy or personal space in order to figure out who I really was and what I really wanted.
But now I knew. And there was something so damn freeing about that knowledge.
My father lingered outside of my bedroom door as I stepped inside, and I silently turned around, awaiting whatever other instructions he was about to give me.
“You made a grave mistake,” he said, backhanding me so hard I saw stars. I bit my lip to stop the yelp that threatened to escape from the pain. Instead I swallowed it, forcing myself to not show an ounce of pain. “But youre making a smart choice now,” he continued, almost looking disappointed at my lack of response to the hit. “We may be able to salvage what you so thoroughly ruined.” And with that, he shut my door, and I heard him shuffle down the hallway.
I flipped off the closed door and rolled my eyes before taking stock of my old room. It really hadnt been touched. Nothing was different.
Nothing except me.
I headed into the bathroom, noting the array of skin care products already laid out and ready for me to use for my nighttime routine, all the steps that should be seen as self-care were obligations to keep a priceless asset pretty.
I shoved all the products in a drawer, not out of any hatred for their quality, but just for what they represented.
Control.
Everything with my father had been about control. Everything with most of the males in power in my family had been about controlling not only the people who worked for them but their wives and daughters and sons.
And looking at it from the perspective I had now, I noticed how fucking cowardly it made them. They were so insecure and narcissistic that they had to be able to dictate every little thing everyone around them, and if anybody got out of line, they were more than excited to dole out a punishment. It was a disastrous, toxic pattern. One I probably never would have seen if it had not been for escaping it.
And yes, I had gone from one household to another, not venturing out on my own, but Gareth was so wholly different than everything my father stood for.
While I may have been dependent upon him, he made sure that he gave me all the tools necessary to feel independent as well as find out who I really was underneath all the buried hostility my father had inflicted.
I had no idea that another world existed until I started getting snippets of it through the billionaire’s games, and after Gareth had fully gotten me out?
Id had my awakening.
And my father had no clue who he was dealing with.
I not only remembered everything I’d been raised to believe and adhere to, but I now had the fresh perspective as somebody who was completely in control of their life. That was a dangerous combination, especially because he trusted me. Trusted the daughter hed raised to be quiet and submissive and an expert secret keeper. Never questioning if I would use any of that information against him.
His mistake.
His mistake indeed.
Hed always felt comfortable running his mouth in front of me, almost forgetting that I was there in the shadows waiting for his commands like a trained animal. I dont know how he could forget that I knew his methods inside and out, right down to where he kept his most valuable information.
He may have texted me a snippet of the video evidence he had against Gareth, but I knew exactly where he would store the original video. It was on an external hard drive that he’d called his precious in some sick joke a year ago. An external hard drive that he kept in his community safe. The one no one knew was there, except for me.
I waited until the house was fully asleep, dawn just barely stretching awake over the sky as I made my way to my fathers study, easily shifting the knockoff piece of art to the side and entering the combination that Id seen him enter a thousand times before.
There was no telling what else was on this hard drive, and I clutched it to my chest like a lifeline before shutting the safe and returning the painting.
Funny, if my father had left well enough alone I may have never thought to collect it, the absolutely precious piece of evidence that no doubt had endless proof against him and all his wrongdoings too.
I tucked it safely in the front pocket of my pants, letting my long tunic top hang over it. I’d gotten what I came for, and it was almost too easy?—
“Youre up early,” my fathers voice sounded as I made my way out of this study, finding him in a robe, a cup of coffee in his hand as he looked at me curiously. “Thinking of running?”
I shook my head, doing my best to look submissive as I made my way past him, but he followed me, and I paused in the hallway with the front door in view. I hadnt brought anything here that I was attached to. I didnt need to return to my rooms to grab anything, but if I walked out the front door right now, he would have his men hold me back.
Shit shit shit.I’d counted on the bastard being asleep.
“Youre dressed like you are,” he pressed. “That will be one of the first things we work on this morning. Returning you to the way that I raised you. Those clothes look ridiculous on you. Go pick out a dress from your closet and put it on.”
I tipped my chin, adrenaline surging in my veins as my heart raced against my chest. Every fiber of my being fought against the command.
My father tilted his head, studying me with narrowed eyes. “I will be calling potential interests over here after breakfast,” he said sternly. “I want you presentable in the off chance that one of them still finds interest in you and makes a marriage proposal.”
I gaped at him, unable to control my reactions for one more second. “I am married,” I said my voice much stronger than it ever had been before.
“You wont be for very much longer.” He laughed darkly at me. “Do you think Gareth is a forgiving man? Hes not. After what you did to him, you will no longer be a thought in his head. You were a passing amusement, a way to get back at me, but now? Leaving him? He’ll be cock deep into the next whore?—”
“You’re a senseless coward,” I snapped, tears welling in my eyes as anger overtook every other rationality in my brain.
“You watch your mouth, girl?—”
“No you watch yours, Father.” His eyes flared wide, a shade of red washing over his face making him look mottled. “You are the biggest coward Ive ever known in my entire life. And Ive seen some pretty pathetic men over the years. Ones that youve paraded in here, dangling me like some piece of bait for their alliance. It must drive you mad, being as insecure as you are. A pathetic little man given power because his father had it before him. Youve never earned anything in your life, except maybe my hatred, so congratulations.”
His hands balled into fists, and he chucked his full coffee mug at my head.
I ducked, the hot liquid and ceramic mug just barely missing me as it crashed against the wall and shattered to pieces on the floor.
“Do you want to get hit? Is that it? Youre practically begging me for it.”
I backed up a step down the hallway, never taking my eyes off of him. “If you touch me, even try to, I promise I’ll find a way to kill you.”
Shock radiated over his features, but they were quickly replaced by anger. He started after me, fist raised, and I bolted for the front door.
I didnt care if I had to fight off all the guards, and I could only hope that they hadnt reported to their post yet because of the early morning hour.
Father caught up to me just as I had my hand on the knob, his hand fisting into the fabric of my shirt as I threw the door open?—
The unmistakable sound of a gun cocking cut through my cries.
“Take your hands off my wife.” Gareths tone was lethal, and I snapped my head up, finding him standing there with my parting farewell note crumpled in his hand.