22. Rory
RORY
The show goes off without a hitch. After editing their videos and coming to their shows, I now know most of their songs.
Quinn tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and leans closer. “I swear they get better every night.” She jots notes in her phone for her music blog.
I feel bad for writing her off as a groupie. Quinn’s following the tour all summer and working with the label to promote it.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being a groupie. I can see the appeal of hanging around this scene. I’m just not a fan of women trying to get with Jace.
I smile at Quinn, relieved to have a friend. “Your article yesterday about Garrett was so good.”
“Thanks. I still can’t believe I got a chance to interview him.”
When Wayward Sons get to the end of their set, they sing “Red Light,” the crowd favorite. It’s so catchy and upbeat.
She’s a red light
A full stop on a country road
She’s a switchback
With curves you wanna take nice and slow
I’m busy singing the lyrics with the crowd when it hits me. This song is about Marlowe.
I ignore the clawing sensation in my chest. There’s no point in feeling jealous because you can never compete with a ghost from the past. I get the impression she was Jace’s first love. That’s why it hurt so bad. Hayden did a number on me too.
But it piques my curiosity. Has Marlowe written songs about Jace?
I dutifully call Edmond on my way back to the bus. He helps me get the stroller up the steps and wishes me a good night. Layla and I eat a late dinner before I clean her up and get her in bed.
And then I give in to the urge to snoop. I get out my phone and plug in “Marlowe and the Dusty Roses” into the search bar. Her social media pops up, and I click on the link.
Her feed is full of clips from this festival, so I start watching them.
And wish I hadn’t.
Not only is she beautiful, but the woman can sing. She has a raspy voice and great command. After about five videos, I feel like I’m venturing into stalker territory.
That’s when I click on a video for her song “Caravan.”
“This is for the one who got away. We all have those, don’t we?” The crowd screams as the melody kicks in and Marlowe sings about being in love and getting scared because she felt too much.
When I close my eyes, he’s by my side
When I close my eyes, I cannot hide
From what we shared before I ran
Back on that mystical caravan
When I get to the end, I replay it and try to parse her words. Is the mystical caravan what she felt with Jace, or did she leave him to get back on the mystical caravan?
I need therapy. It’s just a song, Aurora.
I should stop there. But do I? Of course not.
Instead of minding my own business, I head to her Instagram where I find photos from last night.
Of Jace and Marlowe, side by side, looking like a couple, and mugging for the camera.
I click off my phone and toss it on the bed, annoyed at myself.
But my brain won’t shut off. I keep thinking about hypotheticals. Like, what if I wasn’t on this tour? Would Jace and Marlowe rekindle their relationship? Would he want to date her again? Am I keeping him from his one true love?
I get my journal and pour out all of my thoughts. How I’m doing the thing I said I would never do again—letting down my guard and falling for the emotionally unavailable lead singer who doesn’t do relationships.
Because that’s the pressure I’m feeling in my chest, right? That’s why my eyes instantly find him in any room. Why I find myself leaning toward him like a flower to the sun.
Where are all of those protective instincts I honed after my ex dumped me for my stepsister?
Eventually, I doze off, but I wake with a jolt around two in the morning. The bed is empty, and Layla is standing in her crib.
“Sorry, honey,” I call out. “I’m coming.” That’s when I hear the voices down the hall.
Annoyed, I pull on one of Jace’s long-sleeved shirts and close it around the front before I pick up the baby and open the bedroom door. A naked Karina runs down the hall toward me. She shrieks as she dives for one of the bunk beds with a half-dressed Cooper hot on her heels.
I really didn’t need to know how much body hair that man has. My new nickname for him is the Wolf Man.
I make sure Layla’s head stays on my shoulder so she doesn’t see anything gross as I emerge in the lounge, where there’s a party in full swing.
Music blares through the speakers as the smell of beer and weed hit me.
Jace is sitting with Shane while half a dozen girls crowd around them.
On the opposite couch, Derek’s making out with a groupie.
“You were amazing tonight,” gushes a gorgeous brunette, who’s sitting way too close to Jace for my personal taste.
My ire spikes. Because that’s how I must have sounded after that first concert. All starry-eyed and stupid.
But now I’m the idiot, standing here in my pajamas with my hair in a bun and no makeup, with his baby on my hip. I flick the band on my finger as I try not to spiral.
Since I turned him down last night, is he looking for a hookup? Am I going to have to watch him fuck his way through a line of willing fans?
Jace’s brows lift when he sees me. “Hey. Did we wake y’all?”
“Yes.” I turn and open the fridge where I grab Layla’s bottle before I stalk back to the bedroom. This is probably what Jace has been up to every night after his shows while I was waiting on the bus with his dinner.
“What’s her problem?” some girl asks.
Good question. I don’t fucking know anymore. You’re getting paid for this job, Rory. Calm down.
I’m busy changing Layla’s diaper when the bedroom door opens behind me. “Hey.”
I don’t bother responding because I have nothing productive to say.
Jace clears his throat. “Sorry we woke you.”
“Not a problem. This is your bus, not mine.” I snap Layla’s pajamas before I sit on the bed, cradle her in my arms, and give her the bottle. She takes it eagerly, and I brush her hair out of her eyes.
He sits on the edge of the bed next to me. “Are you mad about something?”
“Frankly, I’m annoyed with myself.”
“Why’s that?”
I’m a knotted ball of emotion, and I’m not sure how to untangle it. All I know is I’m grateful I didn’t sleep with Jace last night. Then I’d really be pissed. “Can we not do this right now? I’m tired, and you have guests.” I rub the bridge of my nose, wishing I had my glasses on right now.
“I got the dinner you bought me. Thanks.”
I’m such a sucker. “Sure.”
“Tomorrow, the label is doing a big thing for several of the bands before the show starts at a restaurant down the street. Wanna come?”
I look down, wishing I could disappear into a hole. “Not really.”
“Come on. It’ll be fun.”
“Maybe another time.” When Layla finishes her bottle, I turn her in my arms to burp her.
“I can do that.” He holds out his arms, and I give him his daughter. Then I scoot over to my side of the bed, slide under the covers, and turn my back to him.
After Layla lets out a little burp, he starts singing to her, and I close my eyes, hating how much his voice affects me.
I never should have come on this tour. I should be safely back in Wild Heart, cataloging books according to the Dewey Decimal System and spending my nights with my Pinterest crafts. That life made sense to me.
This one does not.
I’m tempted to turn around so I can watch Jace sing his daughter to sleep, but that will only make this worse.
I’m hoping I’m asleep before he goes to bed, but I’m still wide freaking awake when he joins me.
When he tries to pull me into his arms, I shake my head. “Not tonight.”
“Nothing happened out there with those girls,” he whispers against the shell of my ear. “I promise. The guys wanted to hang out with them, and I thought we should bring the party here in case we had any trouble with our stalker. I wanted to be close to you and Layla.”
Oh.
I blow out a shaky breath. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“Kinda think I do.” His arm wraps around my waist. This time when he tugs me to his chest, I let him because I’m weak.
Closing my eyes, I breathe him in, annoyed at how conflicted I feel.
Because I know a disaster when I see one.
The next morning, Jace is catatonic. He doesn’t budge when Layla wakes up. I’m sure he’s exhausted. I let myself watch him sleep for a full ten seconds before I force myself to turn away.
After I change Layla’s diaper, I toss on some jeans and a t-shirt and head to the kitchen. As I stand there, I survey the lounge with fresh eyes. Maybe someone should disinfect the seats? I get Layla situated in her high chair, which clamps to the table, before I start wiping down the furniture.
“Did someone get sick last night?” Frank asks from the front of the bus.
Gross. “Not that I know of. I’m worried naked asses have planted themselves on furniture Layla might touch.” Good save, Aurora. I mean, yes, it would be nasty for the baby to touch that, but I’m cleaning so I don’t gag.
He rubs his chin. “Things can get a little out of control on tours, but the guys have been on their best behavior. Having you and the kid around probably helps.”
That’s not reassuring. Is he trying to tell me they’re animals when left to their own devices?
I force my lips up into what I hope is a smile. “What time do we leave tomorrow?”
“Around noon.” He chuckles. “Wanna give the guys time to recuperate. Usually, the last night of a festival is the latest.”
Fun. “When can I do some laundry? I’m running out of clothes for Layla.”
“You should have some time tomorrow once we get to the new venue. I’ll find out where the closest laundromat is.”
“Thanks.” No one told me I’d miss my washer-dryer combo on this tour. I motion over my shoulder. “I’m going to finish feeding Layla, and then I’ll work on today’s posts.”
“Think you could get more behind-the-scenes shots? Moments with fans or just those intimate moments you see when Jace is writing? I think people would like to see that. Obviously, ask Jace first, but he’s usually pretty amenable to promotion.”
“Whatever you want.” Because I need more reasons to watch my husband on video. Then again, this is my job.
“You know, if you’d like to get into the other pavilions, I can get you an all-access pass to give you a chance to see the other bands. There’s no reason you can’t have some fun while we’re on the road.”
This time, my smile is genuine. “Thanks, Frank. I’d like that.” I have to admit there are some really talented musicians on this tour.
And I’ll never say this out loud, but I’m dying to see Marlowe perform live.
“One more thing. Jace mentioned you didn’t wanna come to the pre-show dinner, but I’d love for you to get some video of the bands schmoozing and some of that behind-the-scenes footage I just mentioned.
” He folds his hands together. “Think you could make an exception for me? Maybe for that VIP pass?”
He asks so sweetly that I capitulate. “For you, sure.”
“You’re a good egg, kid.”
My phone rings, and when I see Dad flash on the screen, I send him to voicemail. He’s just calling about Taylor’s stupid wedding to my stupid ex.
And while coming on tour with Jace solved my immediate financial and housing crisis, I have no idea how to explain any of this to my family.
Do I really have to tell them anything if this marriage will be over by the fall?