Chapter 11 Gatling #2
“I can’t say it’s living the high life of comfort, no,” I replied, crossing my arms. Waiting for him to get to the point. A beat of silence passed between us.
“Look.” Kingpin scrubbed a hand over his mouth with a sigh. “I haven’t been spending as much time with the club as I used to. With my marriage, and the new baby, a lot of things have slipped through my fingers and landed on Blackbeard’s shoulders.”
Which wasn’t surprising, given that he was navigating fatherhood for the first time in his fifties. I shuffled my feet, recognizing the unspoken expectation that I should ask about his family. That was the polite thing to do—the socially acceptable thing to do.
For the most part, I prided myself on my stubbornness, my prickly demeanor. It kept me safe, protected, like armor.
But there were times like this where I noticed how that armor had warped me, disfigured me into this monstrous, broken…thing. Someone so cold-hearted, aloof, and unfeeling that I didn’t even care to ask about my boss’s baby boy.
I grew up like a wild animal, with teeth and claws. I didn’t know how to get close to someone without biting. Noah and Kelsie were the only exceptions. And even then, I fucked it up more often than I cared to admit.
“So,” I ventured. “How is he?”
Kingpin’s eyebrows flicked up slightly, amused.
“You mean Benji? He’s doing well. Still fussy about his peas, but I told Hattie he’ll learn to like them when they’re not a mushy green paste. We’re both grateful as hell that he finally sleeps through the night.”
I nodded automatically, not knowing what else to say.
Sleeping through the night. Fussy about peas. Being a dad.
God, it was a completely different world. Club business could get rough sometimes—like that turf war with the Forsaken MC, dragging on for years. Or that shootout in town last spring. And the ever present threat of getting caught by the cops when we broke the law.
And yet Kingpin didn’t seem fazed by it. He still went home to his kid, feeding him damn peas. As if he wasn’t marked by scars from this lifestyle. As if every man who bore the Blackjacks MC patch across his back fully expected he would never retire from the club. Because it would kill him first.
“Do you want to see baby pictures?” Kingpin asked.
I faltered.
No. Definitely not. I did my best to avoid babies and small children. Grown adults were uneasy in my presence. If I even looked at some poor kid, they would probably burst into tears. Besides, what if the Prez’s kid turned out to be as ugly as a turnip? I wasn’t the type to gush over a baby anyway—
“Relax,” Kingpin added, cutting into my thoughts. “I’m yanking your chain.”
I released a breath of relief.
“Don’t fucking do that to me, Prez.”
“I didn’t pay you a visit to brag about my kid.”
“Then what was it you wanted to talk about?” I asked.
Kingpin’s expression grew serious.
“You’ve been sending my boys all over the place. Keeping an eye on some girl. But you haven’t filled me in on any details as to why. I asked around, and it turns out that you haven’t breathed a word of it to anyone.”
I rocked back on my heels and glanced at my backpack. A quick escape would be the easy way out of this conversation. It wouldn’t resolve anything though. Prez would ask the same questions later down the road. Especially since I was calling the shots and using his man power.
“She’s a friend,” I said at last. Purposefully vague.
“A friend,” Kingpin repeated, his tone flat with disbelief. “She seems pretty special, since you’re making my men look after her.”
It was a gentle reminder, but firm. I’d been giving orders without informing my superior officers.
“She’s a friend,” I repeated. “And she’s having some trouble. I asked the boys for backup. If that’s a problem—”
“It’s not,” Kingpin interrupted. “You know it’s not.”
He stepped closer, holding my gaze. We squared off, saying nothing, eyes locked. I wouldn’t break. Neither would he.
Then he lightly thumped his fist against my chest.
“When will you get it through your thick skull, Gatling? We ride under the same colors. We’re brothers.
That makes us family. If you wanted to act like a lone wolf, then you should have been a nomad who didn’t answer to anyone except himself.
You chose to join this club. And you chose to stay. Start fucking acting like it.”
Without waiting for a response, Kingpin turned and headed for the door. He paused at the threshold.
“Bring your girl by the clubhouse for a visit sometime. We’d like to meet her.”
“She’s not my girl,” I protested, my voice raw with the admission.
Kingpin clucked his tongue.
“That hang-dog look on your face says otherwise. You’re a goner. Whether you’re willing to admit it or not.”
After Kingpin left, I grabbed my backpack and bolted into the trees. I picked up the pace, moving faster and faster until I was nearly at an all-out run. I couldn’t escape this. I couldn’t fake it and pretend that I didn’t have feelings for Kelsie.
My phone pinged with a text message in my backpack. I swore under my breath and forced myself to stop. It might be Baby Doll. Or Noah. Or—
Digging my phone out, I glanced at the screen to see a message from Kelsie.
I’m pregnant.
I stumbled and dropped to my knees.