Chapter 13 #4
He shook his head. “No. Not once. Sure, it would have been the easiest route. Go into SEAL training, pass with flying colors, become agents or something, stop the baddies, get the girls, all that double-o-seven shit. But we didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. We weren’t their lapdogs.”
“Did they ever contact you?”
“No. I think Project Redbird was so tightly wrapped up and considered a failure they probably decided we were too unstable to control. They’d be right of course.
I think Micheal said he did get a call once from some government entity, but he refused them.
Something tells me they were keeping tabs on a lot of us for a while, until we made the effort to not be tracked. ”
I crossed my arms, feeling a little cold. “When you were down there, in the warehouse, did they try to train you, or did they just…”
“Pump us full of drugs and test on us?” he glanced over to me.
“Yeah, they tried to brainwash us and train us for a time, but it didn’t last long.
We caught on and became unstable too quickly.
Violent, conniving, ready to burn the place down and everyone in it.
Ready to stab someone who got too close. ”
I leaned against the table, imagining Lez and Dom and the other kids wreaking havoc, turning into feral monsters.
Unable to control what they were becoming.
Caged like animals. It made my heart drop and my stomach twist. “I’m sorry,” I said softly.
“It’s disgusting what they did. After I heard your story, it kind of messed me up.
I couldn’t believe how someone could do that to kids.
It’s evil. You didn’t deserve that, none of you did. ”
I noticed him watching me and I had to look away, feeling the back of my neck and face heat up at the intensity of his gaze.
“Coming from you, that means a lot,” he said.
“Anyone in their right mind would think the same.”
“Maybe…”
I took a sip of my drink, unable to face the look he was giving me. A look I was afraid to return. I could feel my pulse in my ears as he got a little closer. The tension was thick between us, and I quickly broke it.
“So any more weird places to show me?”
He stepped back. “Weird? Not even cool? Or neat? Or interesting? Damn.”
“Maybe a little bit of all the above.”
He smiled. “Only one more place I got.”
I followed him out of the room and down the hall to an elevator like the one clubside. As we stepped in, he pressed on the third floor.
“What’s on second?” I asked, curious why we were skipping a level.
“Just rooms that we’ve slowly been turning into studios. Fourth is a mess and in need of heavy repairs, haven’t started up there yet.”
Once we got to the third floor, Lez drew me over to the first door on the left. He took out a pair of keys and unlocked it, then hesitated before opening it. “Uh, this is a judgment free zone, got it?”
I gave him a suspicious look. “It’s not gonna be like…a room full of sexy anime figures and body pillows, is it?”
“No, that’s down the hall. Along with my sex dungeon.”
“I knew it.”
He pushed the door open, and we slipped inside. As he flipped on a light, I stood in the entrance way, taking in the room.
It had a similar layout to Dom’s apartment, the only difference was the theme. Instead of the cyberpunk retro feel of Dom’s apartment, Lez’s was filled with—
Superhero comics. From spiderman to superman.
There were two large shelves of books covering one wall with nothing but comics.
There were stacks still to be put away on the table near the kitchen.
There were a few figurines of Green Lantern and Black Panther, and Storm.
One whole wall was a mural with a cast of heroes from DC and Marvel.
“Holy shit, is that Spawn?” I said, staring at the wall.
Lez had been watching my reaction closely and I swear I caught his whole demeanor relax in an instant. His face lit up again, smile stretching from ear to ear. “The one and only. A friend did the mural for me.”
“It’s amazing! Aw, and you got Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy together!” I pointed to the two spiderverse characters swinging by a building in the backdrop.
“Love them,” he said.
I turned to him, looking at him as if for the first time. “You’re like a huge nerd, wow!”
He laughed, setting his drink on the table. “You’re one to talk. I figured you were too cool to even know half these guys, let alone Spawn.”
“You can thank my brother. Huge comic nerd too. Instead of reading all the cutesy books as a kid like Hungry Caterpillar, he put Spiderman into my hands. It’s one of the few things that connected us, especially when he was forced to babysit me.
My sister used to make fun of us all the time.
” I went over to the table and picked up the latest edition of Superman, flipping through it.
“Haven’t really kept up on the latest stuff though, but I’ve watched the movies.
” I noticed a few playing cards on the table with the images of Joker.
Next to the TV and couch, I saw a few old gaming consoles and a small rack of games.
He even had Thanos’s gauntlet and Doom’s mask sitting on top of one of the shelves.
“I know it’s a lot,” Lez said, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“And probably makes me look like a loser to some. But…I didn’t exactly get a childhood.
Neither me or Dom were given much even before we ended up down in the warehouse.
I was gifted my first superhero book by a drug dealer if you can believe it.
He’d kind of helped me and Dom after we got out of juvie the first time.
It was a daredevil comic. I was pretty much hooked after that.
Something about them just…makes me feel normal.
Better. Even those days when I’m all fucked up in the head.
I think how their struggles reminded me of my own.
I don’t know if it's kind of crazy, but it helps.”
I set the comic down, placing my hand on top of it. I could imagine Leslie and Dom fighting crime, beating up baddies and coming home with scars. “I get it,” I said. “Honestly for you, it makes sense.”
Lez sat at the table and slid over a black box. It looked familiar to me, and I realized it was the one he had used back at the church with his weed. He opened it and took out some thin paper and a line of crushed weed, rolling it carefully into a joint.
“Care to join me on the couch?” He asked as he slid his chair back.
I took one last sip of my drink and set it down. “Alright, but just one hit. Too much and I get dizzy.”
I met him over at the couch, a much nicer one compared to the red one downstairs.
A twin, I realized, to the one Dom had in his place.
As we sank into the couch next to each other, Lez leaned forward and stuck the joint in his mouth, lighting it up.
After one hit, he passed it over to me. I took a small hit, the smoke searing down my throat and instantly making me cough.
“Jesus, this is some strong stuff,” I said through coughing fits.
Lez chuckled, patting my back, then rubbing it. “And the best.”
As I was able to breathe normally again, I could feel the effects taking hold, mellowing me out. “Damn, you might be right.” His hand was still rubbing my back after the fact, but I didn’t move away or stop him. We sat for a moment as he took another hit and set the joint aside.
“I didn’t notice any of this back at the church…” I said offhandedly, gesturing to all of the room.
“Yeah, a lot of our stuff was stored away. I didn’t know how long we’d be in the church if we would have to move constantly or not. Or if we would make it back alive from Severfalls. Everything was pretty uncertain there for a while. Now that we’re here to stay…”
“Makes sense,” I said. “You must bring friends up here often to show it off.”
“Not really.”
“Afraid they’ll judge you?”
“Yes.”
I thought for a moment, then said, “So you’ve never shown anyone, not even dates?”
He smirked, glancing at me. “Dom’s seen it obviously. A couple of guys who are into it like me have. But, no girls.”
“Except me.”
“That’s right.”
“Good thing I didn’t think it was lame.”
“Yeah, it would have hurt like a bitch but I was willing to take the risk.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I felt a lot of things but was too afraid to analyze them in the moment.
I asked for the joint again and took one last puff. “Alright, since you’ve graced me with this amazing honor, you have to show me your favorite series. It’s only right.” I said, passing back the joint and trying to stifle my cough. “And then I’ll really judge you.”
He laughed and set the joint aside. He got up and went to his shelves and started pulling. While I sifted through his favorites, he put on a movie in the background for us to watch. I realized it was Carrie.
“There was a rumor I was going to get drenched in blood for my first win as homecoming queen, but I told them it wouldn’t faze me,” I remarked.
“Your first time? How many times did you win?”
“Twice. Would have been three if not for that bitch Riana whose daddy paid off for the football team’s new jerseys. My sister won twice and I was hoping to beat her.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised. You would’ve had my vote if I had ever gone to high school.”
For some reason that statement hit me hard, reminding me again of the reality of his childhood. I could see it now if he had. He might have been on the football team too, with his size. Or maybe he would have been a loner like his brother. The bad boy loner all the girls wanted to be around.
And I would have wanted his attention too. I would have convinced him to go on a date, saying something stupid like he’d be so popular if he dated the sweet homecoming queen. Just think of all the heads we’d turn.
But high school was long gone, and college was over, and those felt like little girl fantasies. Because Lez’s world was no fairytale. It was dark, darker than some of the comics sitting in my lap. His world would chew me up and spit me out. It already had done a number on me.
Still, I was drawn to it, even if I shouldn’t be.
The club, the gang, the feeling of family we had down in the church.
Something about it felt real in a way that my safe little world didn’t.
It wasn’t just the danger but the freedom.
To have this space and not care who judged you or not.
To have people who really saw you and cared about you, flaws and all.
The twins had that, I realized. They didn’t need to play a role in society. They didn’t need to play by its rules. They’d gone through so much trauma they were free of all that. And in a way, that made them better.
As Leslie picked up one of his books and explained the story with that happy boyish look on his face, I watched him and I felt that swirl of emotions again, feeling like he was so much more than I could ever be, for bad or good.
I closed my eyes, just listening and hearing the excitement in his voice and from the beer and the weed I started to drift off.
My head somehow found his shoulder, and I think I might have mumbled something like, “Keep going, I like listening.”
But eventually he stopped and shifted me to lay on his lap, and I was too tired to protest. Maybe I had been dreaming but I swore I felt his fingers in my hair, felt his mouth press against my head before whispering something I couldn’t hear.
Then his arm wrapped around me, and he held me there for a long time.