32. Ember
EMBER
“Em, baby, we worked hard to reach this point. Why you changing your mind all of a sudden?” It was the first time I’d ever seen tears in his eyes in all the years we’d been together.
“For four years, this is all we been talkin’ ’bout.
Going off to college together, graduating, getting married, and having a bunch of our lil’ mini twins running around our mansion.
We got big dreams, baby. Don’t do this to us,” he begged, holding onto my body like he never wanted to let me go.
We were lying in his bed naked after making love, and I had picked that moment to tell him I wasn’t going to college with him.
He was right. We had worked hard for four straight years so we could get accepted to our dream college in Miami.
Between being grown whenever we weren’t studying, he would help me with my math assignments, and in return, I would help him with English homework.
Reason and I were the definition of real high school sweethearts.
It was us against everybody else. Sometimes I felt bad because his parents, Mr. and Mrs. St. Pierre, accepted me, but I could never introduce Reason to my strict parents.
I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend, so I kept him a secret.
My mom and dad didn’t know that when I told them I was going to the library to study, I was really going to Reason’s house.
The times his parents were home, we refrained from having sex and used the time to do our schoolwork.
But as soon as they were away at work, we were humping all around his house like we were grown and paying our own bills.
Reason loved me so deeply; the way he made me feel made me forget I was just a kid.
His maturity, how gentle he was with my heart, and how he protected me from anything he thought could cause me harm made me fall head over heels in love with him.
We were the most popular teenagers in school.
It was no surprise we won Prom King and Prom Queen.
Our photo from prom night was one I kept at the bottom of my special shoebox filled with my most valuable things.
My mom and dad never questioned who my prom date was, because during our champagne party, we acted like we were just friends.
Girls envied me because the most handsome man at our school was in love with me, and boys hated Reason because he had the most beautiful and thickest woman on his arm, as he would always say.
The dudes never had the balls to press Reason about his girlfriend.
And he never allowed any female or male to step to me about shit.
Even if they hinted that they wanted to do anything, Reason was there, ready to fight all my battles.
Reason reached for my hand, interrupting my thoughts. “Ember, say something. What is it, baby? We got our college acceptance letters at the same time, so what’s stopping you?” he asked, not letting up on me.
No words would come out, but a million and one thoughts roamed in my head.
Should I tell him the truth? No, no, I can’t.
I would give up my dreams if it meant Reason could turn his into a reality.
That’s why I couldn’t tell Reason I was one month pregnant with our child.
His parents would never forgive us if they knew we were expecting a baby.
If he knew I was with child, he would stay in LA, and I couldn’t let that happen.
I would stay behind and face the consequences.
We made this baby together, but I couldn’t let him drop everything for me.
One of us had to make it in life, and I’d rather it be him.
Becoming successful one day was all he talked about.
The way his face lit up, and the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen on a man graced his handsome face when he spoke about our future.
I would do anything for him to reach that level of success, even if it meant doing one of the scariest and hardest things in my life.
Hearing the way Mr. and Mrs. St. Pierre talked about Reason going to college and their plan to move to Miami and watch their baby boy make something of his life kept replaying in my mind, and I couldn’t be the bearer of bad news.
My parents wanted the same for me, but I would figure it out. I would, right?
“Em,” Reason’s voice sounded weak as he lifted my chin so I could face him. “Please.”
Seeing how much my news hurt him pained me and made me feel like someone was ripping my heart from my body.
I hated lying to Reason, but I found myself finally saying, “Reason, my family don’t have the money I need to make it through college.”
His left brow shot up. “You got a full ride scholarship, just like I did. And if you needed anything, I have no problem getting a job or two to help you pay for whatever you need, baby.”
Damn, my love for him grew stronger by the second.
I hadn’t thought my lie through. I had to come up with another excuse fast, because Reason would challenge or come up with a solution for everything I said.
When I thought about it, there was one thing I could say that he wouldn’t have a comeback for.
“My momma and daddy don’t want me moving away from LA. They need me here to help them.” Tears welled in my eyes because that was the furthest thing from the truth, but it was the only lie that would stop Reason from pressuring me. He would never come between my family and me.
I could see in his eyes that he didn’t believe me, but he stayed quiet.
I closed my eyes, hoping it would trap some of the tears that steadily kept falling. It was hard enough to accept that I wouldn’t be with him anymore, that this was the end of our beautiful relationship, and knowing he was the first and last man I would ever love so strongly and deeply.
I was choosing to raise our baby on my own because I loved him that much. And knowing that I’d forever have a part of him with me would help me cope during the roughest days without him.
He was the only one who kept my heart at peace on my hardest days. How was I going to go on with life without the only person who’d ever made me feel seen, loved, and worthy? Our age wasn’t a factor in our love; I was well aware of what I felt when I was with Reason.
“Ember, I promise I’ll stay here and attend a college out here if you tell me to.”
That was the last thing I wanted him to say, and it only confirmed what his decision would be if he knew I was pregnant.
“No, Reason. Please, go. Follow your dreams, babe,” my voice cracked.
We both hadn’t stopped crying.
“My dream is for us to be together. Remember we promised each other we’d be together always and forever?”
My eyes dropped, and my soul ached and cried out for him.
“Look at me, Ember. You remember our promise to each other?”
“Yes,” I cried.
He gently grabbed my face. “Then why you breaking us apart? I don’t understand, Em. Is it really ’bout your family, and not something else?”
I inhaled and took a while to release my breath. This was breaking me down. I knew I would never be the same person after this. But I had to stand firm. This was for his own good.
“Reason, I have to stay here.” My heart pounded so hard, and if it weren’t for his heavy breathing, he would’ve been able to hear it.
I got out of his bed and picked up my clothes off the floor. As he continued to stare at me while I got dressed, I knew I needed to get out of there before I gave in and told him the truth. He was breaking just as much as I was, and knowing I was the cause of it had me feeling guilty in every way.
This would be the last time I saw Reason… my Reason for life.
Before I walked out of his life for good, I bent down to kiss him. Our passionate kiss felt like a goodbye, both of our tears mixing and covering our faces.
I dropped to my knees and wailed into the palms of my hands. Not long after, Reason hopped off the bed and joined me on the floor. “I’ll drop it all, baby. I promise I will.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” I said repeatedly.
I slowly lifted my head and found the strength to stand up again. Reason did the same, wrapping his arms around me as I looked up into his eyes.
“I’ll always and forever love you, Reason St. Pierre.”
“Why you talkin’ like I’ll never see or hear from you again, Em Baby?”
I stood quietly, tears still streaming down my cheeks. My lips quivered. “Reason, please just tell me you’ll love me always and forever.”
With his brows knitted together and his chest moving up and down rapidly, he looked dead into my eyes.
“Baby, I’ll love you ’til God brings us together again.
Don’t ever give my heart to another man, Ember.
You gon’ always and forever be in here.” His index finger pressed into his chest near his heart.
“I’ma come back for you, I promise. You the only person I want forever with. ”
That day, I walked out of the life of the only man I had ever been ‘in love’ with, and my life was never the same.
The trip down memory lane had me in my feels, remembering every detail from that day. The pain felt fresh, just like it had the day I walked out of his place when we were eighteen years old.
I still found it hard to believe that after all these years, Reason and I were face to face again.
The feelings he made me feel back then only intensified as I stood in his presence now.
I had never stopped loving this man. Yes, I had loved someone after him, but I had never completely given my entire heart to anyone except the man who hadn’t stopped staring at me since I arrived.
It was now just Reason, Rhema, and me left on the yacht.
The emotional reunion between us, including his mother, had been emotional.
She almost fainted when she laid eyes on me.
Guilt shot through me more when I looked around for Mr. St. Pierre, and Reason told me he was no longer alive.
I had taken away his chance to meet his first grandchild. That piece of information hit me hard.