Ch. 15 - a few hrs before #4
Once he acknowledged the leak, my breast became extremely sore. I removed the breast pumps and sat them on the nightstand beside me. My gown wasn’t soaked or anything but if I would’ve stayed sleep, I was sure it would’ve been.
Pressing my back against the headboard, I got comfortable waiting for them to return.
Black walked in shortly after with Maaz in his arms. He’d gotten so good with carrying him that he one handed him effortlessly.
He spoke to Maaz like he was his homeboy knowing he couldn’t understand a thing he was saying.
He handed him over after pecking his cheeks the stroll over.
Maaz was placed on the pillow in my lap bringing a smile to me instantly. He was too adorable to pass up on or ever get rid of. He latched on to my nipple immediately. I noticed early on that his appetite was bigger than he could handle.
Black opened the curtains allowing the small sunrise to be witnessed.
He picked up the two breast pumps and walked out with them moments later.
Over the course of those three days we shared months ago, I picked up on his quietness.
I realized he didn’t speak unless spoken to and minded his business always.
He gave me space but not too much where he couldn’t hear or see me.
“You look like that man. You could’ve given me something Afor. You didn’t even try stinkabutt,” I said admiring his features. He was Black’s twin.
I couldn’t even enjoy him good before I was receiving a phone call.
I checked the caller ID and released a deep sigh.
I wasn’t prepared for my parents’ lectures.
They always started with concern about me and Maaz but pivoted to Black and his entire existence.
It was a redundant loop I wanted to break away from.
Nevertheless, I answered silently praying the conversations went a little different this time around.
“Hello.”
“Hey baby girl, how’s my big man doing?” My father was the first to speak.
“He’s good. We just woke up, so he’s getting his breakfast. How are you, Dad? Has anything been bothering you lately?” I countered. I wanted to keep all conversations on their household, not mine.
“I’m good and moving like a racehorse. I’m getting a garden started for your mama today. She wants some fresh veggies and fruits for the new year. The weather should be perfect for it today.”
“That’s good. I’ll know where to come and shop then,” I jested.
“Not here. Where’s your criminal?” he questioned. It took him no time to get on Black this time.
“Where’s Mama?”
“She’s sleeping. She had a headache last night and needed extra rest. Don’t avoid me, Cheyonne,” he snapped.
“Bye Dad. We love you.” The phone was hung up, put on DND, then thrown to the side without hesitation.
He was so argumentative lately, and I didn’t understand why. I wasn’t about to deal with it though. My line could steer clear of any and everyone. I had my son and his father beside me, that was all I needed.
Black walked back in with clean pumps, a glass of apple juice, and some avocado toast with scrambled eggs to the side.
The smell of the meal caused my stomach to rumble.
It was only seven in the morning and he’d taken care of our son and fixed breakfast. I would shout on any mountain that this wasn’t the monster they painted him out to be.
“He aight?” he asked watching him intensely.
“He’s fine. Is that for me?” I threw a nod to the plate in his hand.
“Yeah. It’s something slight until Nesh get here. She bringing a platter for you.”
“Thank you. Have you eaten anything yet?” I inquired taking the plate from him. I couldn’t wait to stuff my face.
“Yeah. I ate a few hours ago. I’m straight for now. You need something else?” His voice wasn’t rowdy in the slightest. This man had become a teddy bear for us, and I was lowkey trying to figure out how long it would last.
“I need you to sit, so we can have that talk you promised we’d have later. It’s later Black, and I need clarity on a lot of things.”
Nodding, he placed my drink on the nightstand and walked around to his side of the bed. He got in and got comfortable next to us. He was so close I could smell the mint on his breath.
“I only got one question for you, Brat. Why you fuck me that night then call them boys on me? I was leaving and you know it. You ain’t have to do me like that.” He came in hard with his straightforwardness.
“Like that, huh?”
“Straight like that. I ain’t got time for games, Brat.
You had me nuttin’ in that gushy ass pussy all night and the first chance you got, you called them blues.
I couldn’t even get a fuckin’ nap in, Brat.
Then, you get to barking when the muthafuckas ain’t even pull yo’ chain. You disappointed me, Ma.”
Sad thing about this entire thing, I saw the disappointment and now I was hearing it.
That look haunted me for nights on end. I couldn’t function some days from that night playing on a loop the way it did.
I dealt with the regret so all that was left was him to extend forgiveness. I had our son as an apology in a way.
It was time to be honest with him and myself.
“The news said the guard was shot and in ICU. I assumed it was you because you had the diamonds, the guns, and the need to get away. You getting off the diamonds with Zeus really didn’t bother me.
I don’t know if I was really scared of you anymore at that point.
What I did know and was certain on was you facing the consequences for hurting that innocent man.
I couldn’t just let you leave. The only thing I had to keep you here longer was sex.
I used what I had to get what I wanted.”
“I stayed another day for you. I stayed to make sure you were good before I left yo’ ass hanging.
It’s fucked up how you did me, and even then, I couldn’t shake you.
I thought about you every day in that bitch.
I ain’t never been attached to no broad outside my mama.
This weird ass shit between us got a hold on me,” he confessed.
“Black, I’m sorry. I really am, and I’ve regretted it ever since it happened.
I thought I was doing the right thing. When I found out about Maaz, I was already four months and in too deep.
I was torn on what to do but Royce really convinced me to go through with it.
He assured me protection, and I figured if I couldn’t have you then second best was your family.
He stepped in as a brother would and been there ever since. ”
“Tuh, that nigga really know no bounds. He pressured you to give him our name, too?” I thought he would’ve breezed over the name, but it stuck with him.
“No, that was all me. Having him is me asking for your forgiveness in a way. Will you give it to me?” All I wanted was that and I’d be content.
Maaz had finished eating and was ready to be burped.
Black took him from me and began to pat his back gently.
We were having a raw ass conversation, but he was still attentive when it came to our son.
That was the most attractive thing about him.
I loved how he loved him and always kept him as a priority.
“I forgave you a long time ago, Brat. I knew you was just doing what you had to, to survive.”
“So where do we go from here? Are we starting over and building a family or what? I can’t really move on without knowing. Playing house ain’t my thing,” I said hinting at the fact that, that was exactly what we’d been doing since I came home from the hospital.
“I told you wherever y’all went I was following. I ain’t need to say shit else, but since you a lil’ slow, I’ll spell it out. We in this thang for the long run, Brat. I ain’t ‘bout to let nobody do my job when it comes to y’all. Y’all mine for life.”
“He has your name, not me. He’s yours for life, while I’m still suitable for a husband,” I teased.
Black gripped my face and turned my head toward him with aggression.
The look in his eyes had grown cold. He slipped back into the person I met months ago.
“Don’t fuckin’ try me, Brat. I stamped that pussy so good, I know it’s missing me, ‘cause I’m fa damn sho missing it.
If you wanted my name, all you had to do was ask for it.
I’ll give it to you with no problem. It’s not like I got use for the bitch anyway. ”
“Why is that? What happened with you and them?” I was just as nosy as he was.
“I was made out of wedlock, so me and Royce don’t share the same mama, but we got the same donor.
Some shit went down with him and my mama which resulted to her skipping town.
I didn’t get the same treatment as Junior cause I wasn’t even supposed to be born.
He lived a life of luxury, and I was scrapping up whatever I could to survive.
I got into jacking and that put some bread in me and the crew pocket.
Whatever happened to our grandma made him come and find me initially, but somebody wanted to see me behind bars instead.
I knew of him, but he ain’t know shit ‘bout me.”
Everything Royce said was true and now I was getting Black’s side of things.
It all made sense on why they acted so similar.
They were brothers for sure and carried the same character traits but didn’t have a clue as to where to start in bonding.
They just kind of threw themselves in the circle and now their relationship came so naturally. I loved that for them.
“Do you want to get to know the rest of the family?” I inquired.
“I don’t care for Royce’s donors, but I’m down to meet everybody else. Ain’t no point in holding a grudge when they ain’t did shit or know what was really going on. If I got to meet them, so do you. Royce ain’t the only Atkins.”
“So, I’ve heard. We can though. I don’t mind.”
“Cool. You trying to shower with me? His greedy ass done knocked out.”
“Yeah baby, we can.”
Black tucked Maaz in to where he’d be safe and snugged while we showered. All he wanted to do was rub on me. I didn’t mind cause I missed having him near. The feeling of him was too good to replace.