20. Then
Then: December 19th
I haven’t gone back out with Dad for any more driving lessons. Even though he’s the parent, and I generally respect authority, right now he’s lost all respect from me. I simply don’t have any left to give after learning about his affair.
So far, I haven’t revealed his secret. But I have been studying Mom closely for any signs that she might know that something is going on. As angry as I am at Dad, I don’t feel that it’s my place to say anything to Mom. But for her sake, I hope he does. Or, I should say, for her sake I hope he quits going to therapy. Not that it’s okay to brush this kind of thing under the rug, but I know exactly what it would do to her if she found out. It’d be much easier if he simply puts out the fire now and loves his wife again.
Sadly, looking back at their relationship, I don’t know that I can truthfully say that either one truly loves the other. They aren’t affectionate with each other. They never hug, kiss, or hold hands. They are cordial with one another, but nothing more. It’s depressing, to say the least.
The day I found out the horrible truth about my dad, I vowed I would never do that to someone else. I would never be unfaithful to my partner or spouse. I would never exist in their presence without love or warmth. I will never become my parents.