Chapter 1
One
“Listen, Lieutenant, I’ve watched you grow over the last eight years. You’ve stepped up exponentially, handled some really tough calls, have a great head on your shoulders, and your team trusts you.”
Pride warms my chest as I sit across from Chief Daniels in the conference room. “Thank you, Chief,” I say. “Means a lot.”
“I’m not sayin’ it to make you feel good,” he offers bluntly. “I’m sayin’ it because it’s true. I’ve seen your work and know you’ve got the skills to qualify for captain, but I can’t read where your heart’s at, which is why I’m havin’ this conversation with you.”
My brows pinch. “I’m not followin’, Chief.”
“Son, it’s no secret that you want to be captain once Ford becomes chief next year.
But before I put your name in the runnin’, I need to know you’re doin’ it because it’s the path you want to be on, and not because it’s what people expect of you.
” Heaving a sigh, he continues. “Captain isn’t just a promotion, a new title, or a pay bump.
It’s long nights, makin’ more tough, sometimes impossible, calls, and carryin’ your team's worst days on your back. You have the potential. If you didn’t, we wouldn’t even be havin’ this conversation.
But I need you to be sure. Lieutenant, why do you want to be captain of Station 14? ”
My pulse roars in my ears, and my knee shakes a mile a minute. I don’t know why the question fills my gut with so much anxiety, but it does.
“I’ve put in my time, sir, and it seems like the next logical step.”
“Promotions aren’t assembly lines, Lieutenant,” he deadpans.
“You don’t become captain because it’s what you think comes next.
And sure, you’ve put in the time, and that matters, of course, but it’s not a reason.
Lots of people here have put in time. I want to know what’s driving you, not what you think you’re entitled to. ”
Well, shit.
“I just…do.” My mouth is dry, and I feel about two feet tall sitting in this room. “I want to make a difference, help out the community.”
“Wonderful, but everyone in this buildin’ wants that.
” Chief Daniels sits forward, staring down his nose at me.
“Tell me what difference you want to make, Buchanan. Don’t give me some generic answer you think I want to hear.
Give me somethin’ real, somethin’ honest.” Checking his watch, he adds, “Not right now, though. Take some time to think about it, son, and get back to me.”
That wasn’t generic.
With a nod, I stand from my chair as he does the same. “Yes, sir.”
Shaking my hand, his grip tight, Chief Daniels adds, “There’s nobody I’d rather give the position to, Buchanan. But only if your heart’s in it.”
“Yes, sir. Understood.”
Leaving the conference room, I take a right down the hall that leads to the kitchen.
That went…terribly. I’ve wanted the captain position since I made lieutenant a couple of years ago and I learned about Chief’s plan to retire this year.
It’s always been the goal. So, why the hell did I freeze like that?
Chief Daniels has been chief since my father was a firefighter.
He’s a good, fair man, and we’ve always gotten along.
But goddamn, if he isn’t intimidating sometimes.
It’s probably why every reason I could’ve given him vanished the moment he asked.
It’s a big promotion—a big deal—and I don’t want to sound insignificant to him.
So, yeah, maybe I gave him answers that were slightly generic, but they’re still honest, too.
As I’m filling up a glass with water, footsteps sound behind me, and when I look over my shoulder, I find Firefighter Stetson walking over to me with purpose.
“Stetson, what’s up?”
“There’s somebody up front who would like to speak with you,” he offers, hooking a thumb over his shoulder.
My brow furrows. “Who is it?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Chandler asked me to tell you.”
That’s weird. Who the heck would be here to see me, specifically?
“Thank you. I’ll be right up.”
After I guzzle down some water, I make my way to the front. Rounding the corner, my eyebrows pinch with confusion as I take in the empty lobby, save for Chandler, who’s sitting behind the desk.
“Hey, Stetson said someone was here to see me?”
“Yeah, Lukas Murphy,” she says. “He wanted to wait for you outside.”
Lukas… What would he be doing here?
Walking through the front doors, I find him sitting on the steps. “Hey, kid. Surprised to see you here.”
He stands immediately and turns to face me. “Oh, h-hi.” Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he meekly says, “Sorry for buggin’ you at work.”
“Nah, it’s cool.” I wave him off, unable to miss how uncomfortable he looks, from his stiff posture to the way he won’t make eye contact with me. “What’s up? Is everythin’ okay?”
“Um… Yeah, things are fine, I guess.”
“Then why do you look so nervous?” I ask before another, more important question pops into my head. “How did you get here?”
“I took the bus.”
My eyebrows shoot to my hairline. “From Wilbur?”
“No.” He shakes his head, finally meeting my gaze. “From near the middle school.”
Because Wolf Creek and Wilbur are such small towns, they share schools, but the middle school is clear on the other side of town, basically inside Wilbur city limits.
“That’s, like, a thirty-minute bus ride,” I point out.
Lukas shrugs. “Twenty-five, but yeah.”
“You’re thirteen.”
“And?”
“Does your grandma know you’re out here frolicking around town?”
After the funeral, I did some digging—and by digging, I mean asking Ford—and found out that the only living family Ricky had was his mom, so Lukas automatically went into her care after his dad died.
I guess Lukas’s mom took off right after he was born, leaving Ricky to raise a newborn all by himself.
His face screws up before he chuckles. “Who says frolicking?”
“Me. Now, answer the question.”
“Yes, she knows I’m here.” He huffs. “Are you done with the twenty questions?”
His ability to go from awkward to sassy is impressive.
“Yeah, kid.” I chuckle. “I’m done, but first you gotta tell me why you bussed it the whole way to the fire station.”
Lukas clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “After my dad’s funeral, you said if I needed anythin’, I could come find you here. Did you mean that?”
My answer is immediate. “Of course, I did.”
There’s a pregnant pause before he finally says, “Okay, well, I need somethin’.”
I fold my arms over my chest and rest my shoulder against the side of the building while having no clue where this is going. “Okay…what is it?”
Something passes through his eyes that I can’t quite place, and he shifts from one foot to the other as he chews on the inside of his cheek. His nervousness is palpable.
“Hey,” I say softly. “Whatever it is, just ask. It’s okay.”
Heaving a sigh, Lukas looks down at his feet. “Can I come live with you?”
My heart thumps against my ribcage, and I replay what he said, sure that I misheard him. “I’m sorry, come again?”
“I need a place to stay so I don’t have to move to North Dakota.”
“North Dakota?” I echo, bringing my hand up to scratch the back of my head. “What the fuck is in North Dakota, and why would you move there?”
“My grandma was supposed to move to North Dakota to live with her sister before my dad died. She ended up stayin’ because of me, but she’s still plannin’ on movin’ there. I have to go with her if I don’t find another solution.”
My mind is racing a mile a minute, trying to make sense of this, but it’s like he’s speaking gibberish, and I’m not catching up. “Does your grandma know you’re askin’ a stranger to move in with him? Because this is kind of wild.”
He exhales dramatically, in that way teenagers do. “Yes. I told you that she knows I’m here.”
“And she’s…fine with it? You’re thirteen.”
“Why do you keep pointin’ that out? Yes, I’m thirteen. What’s your point?”
I hold up my hands. “I’m just tryin’ to make sense of all of this. That’s all.”
“She told me that if I found somewhere to go, she’d let me stay here.
But if I can’t, then I have to move, and I really don’t want to move.
The idea of going somewhere I’ve never been and switchin’ schools mid-year sounds like my worst nightmare.
” He juts out his chin before adding, “And I’ve already been through enough in the last three months, don’t you think? ”
Playing the dead dad card… He’s resourceful, I’ll give him that.
“Why is she movin’ in the first place?”
Shrugging, he says, “I don’t know. She’s getting old, and it’s becomin’ harder for her to move around by herself. She says her sister will be able to help her more.”
Breathing out a small chuckle, I scrub a hand along my jaw. “You do realize how crazy this sounds, don’t you? Comin’ here to ask me—a guy you’ve met once—if you can move in with me.”
“Yeah. But you did say if I needed anything, I could come here.”
“Well, yeah, but goddamn, this isn’t really what I had in mind.”
Lukas’s shoulders fall, and I watch as disappointment washes over his features. “Look, if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I just didn’t know who else to ask.”
“Why me, though?” This is the part I’m not understanding. “Why not one of the guys from your dad’s station?”
“Because I don’t really know any of them.”
“You don’t know me,” I point out. “Like, at all.”
“Yeah, but…I don’t know.” He sighs. “You’ve been where I’m at; you even said so after the funeral.
And… And you were the only person that day who gave me a hug, and you didn’t talk to me like I was a baby.
I felt… I don’t know. Safe around you. Like I could trust you.
” A dry laugh comes out of him. “Ugh, that sounds so stupid. I’m sorry, I’ll go. I don’t know why I came here.”
As he turns to walk away, I take a step forward and blurt out, “No, just—ah—fuckin’ wait a minute, would you?”
Lukas stops walking, but he doesn’t turn around. “Why?” he asks, and I can hear the strain in his voice, like he’s fighting back tears.
My heart squeezes, and I hate that I’m screwing this—whatever this is—up so badly. “Because you’re right. I did say you could come to me if you needed anythin’. I just… Give me a couple days to think about this, okay, kid?”
He turns to face me again, slowly. His face is red and his eyes are wet. “You mean it?”
“I’m not sayin’ it’s a yes, but I really will think about it. I promise.” I run my fingers through my hair, swallowing roughly. “And I really think I should meet your grandma before anythin’ gets decided.”
Lukas rolls his lips together, hiding the smile trying to come through. “Yeah, of course.” He nods and takes a step toward me. “She and I go to Misty’s every Thursday for dinner. It’s close to my dad’s station.”
“I know where it’s at.” I nod. “Been there once.”
“Oh, okay, yeah. Well, if you decide you’re okay with what I’m askin’, meet us there this Thursday. But if you decide you don’t want to, then don’t come and I’ll know.”
This Thursday?
That’s only three days away.
A weight presses down on my chest, making it hard to breathe. What the fuck is going on? How is this what I’m dealing with today?
He wants to move in…with me. A thirteen-year-old boy who’s only met me once, who just lost his dad, wants to move in with me. And what, I’ll just take care of him?
That’s nuts.
“Please, Remi,” he says after a moment. “Please think about it for real. I promise I’ll behave. You won’t even notice I’m there.”
“I highly doubt that.” I snort. “But I will, I promise. Give me a few days, and I’ll have an answer for you.”
His eyes light up, and he finally lets that smile spread across his face. “Thank you! Thank you so much.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s a yes!” I call out as he’s scurrying off. I’m guessing toward the bus stop.
Lukas doesn’t bother to turn around or respond, simply flashing me a thumbs-up as he disappears around the corner.
Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I pull up the first number that comes to mind—the person I’ve always gone to when shit gets crazy. My best friend, Hollis.
Me: Dude, you will not believe what just happened to me at the firehouse. I need to talk to you about it and get my head on straight. Meet me for a beer tonight after my shift?