Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
Remi
I’m out of my truck as soon as the tires stop moving. I probably broke a dozen laws driving over here from the firehouse. My heart has been thrashing since I got the call from Gentry, a lead weight sitting on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
Lukas is missing.
I pride myself on being great under pressure.
I don’t panic, I don’t let my mind go to the worst-case scenario, and I don’t react without thinking.
As a firefighter, I have to be that way, or people die.
Suddenly, I understand why they say you shouldn’t respond to calls from your own family.
It’s impossible not to panic. It’s impossible not to think the worst. My mind is racing, a million different thoughts, each one worse than the last.
What if he wandered too far and a coyote got him?
Or what if he went down by the creek and, god forbid, fell in?
He’s thirteen, and I’m sure he knows how to swim, but we’ve never talked about that before, so I don’t know. Why haven’t we talked about it? This is the type of shit I should’ve asked.
Goddamnit.
If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.
Nobody’s around; they’re spread out all over the property, so I run into the barn and grab the keys for one of the UTVs.
Driving to the west edge of the property, I keep my eyes peeled as I scan the area and call out his name.
On the drive over here, I tried his cell phone, but it’s turned off, which did nothing but make me worry more.
As I search, I’m cataloging the land in my mind. Land I’ve explored dozens of times. The barbed wire, the fence sagging in spots, the creek, the old equipment shed behind the barn that could swallow a kid whole.
There’re too many places to hide.
Too many ways this could go wrong.
“Lukas!” I shout, panic cracking through my voice despite my best effort. “Lukas, can you hear me, buddy?”
My throat tightens. I force air through my nose and out through my mouth. I can’t fall apart. I don’t get to. I need to be strong and keep searching. He’s here somewhere, and I refuse to believe he’s not okay.
“Lukas!”
The land answers back with wind and rustling grass, and nothing else.
Every second stretches. It’s agonizing. Every step away from where Lukas should be feels wrong, like I’m walking farther from him instead of getting closer.
All I can think about is how I promised him I wasn’t going anywhere. That I’d keep him safe.
And I can’t find him.
My phone rings in my pocket, and my hands tremble as I pull it out, scanning the screen and hoping to find Lukas’s name. But I don’t. It’s Hollis.
“Did you find him?” I blurt out as soon as I answer.
“Not yet, but I have an idea.”
“Fuck. Okay, what is it?”
“Remember that old treehouse we built when we were kids? Past the creek, near the southeast property line?”
“Yeah…”
How could I forget? We spent every single day for a month gathering supplies and putting it all together.
“Tripp mentioned they walked past there earlier when they were exploring,” Hollis says. “Maybe he’s there.”
My heart palpitates as I look around, trying to figure out where, exactly, I’m at. “It’ll only take me a minute to drive over there,” I murmur, jumping back in the UTV. “I’m on my way.”
“Dad’s on his way too. We’re gonna keep lookin’, but if y’all find him, let me know.”
“Will do.”
Gentry and I arrive at nearly the same time, putting our UTVs in park and jumping out. He rushes over to me, enveloping me in his strong arms. “We’re gonna find him,” he breathes against my ear before kissing the top of my head.
“I know we are,” I say, peering up at him and forcing myself to believe that.
He nods once. “Come on.”
The treehouse is nothing but a shadow tangled up in branches, half-swallowed by the oak.
The boards have gone gray and soft over the years, and the ladder nailed to the trunk hangs crooked and haphazard.
It looks nothing like it used to. If I didn’t already know this was here, I would miss it entirely.
My pulse slams so hard as we approach, I have to stop, my hand braced against the tree. “Lukas?” I call out, my voice low, careful. “Lukas, bud, are you in here?”
Silence.
“Lukas?”
More silence.
But then I hear it… A faint scuff. Wood shifting under weight. My heart seizes as I shoot a look at Gentry before maneuvering my way up the tree. My stomach in my throat, I lift the beam upward, relief flooding my system when I spot him.
There he is.
Curled in on himself in the corner of the treehouse, Lukas hugs his knees to his chest, his hoodie pulled over his head like armor. He looks smaller up here, younger somehow. His cheeks have dirt streaks, probably from crying, and his eyes are wide and frightened as they meet mine.
“Oh, thank god,” leaves me on an exhale. “There you are. We’ve been lookin’ for you everywhere.”
My legs tremble as I grab the ladder and climb, every rung creaking in protest. I don’t rush, and I’m careful with each step, well aware how unstable this is after all these years. When I pull myself up, the smell of old wood and dust hits me, mixed with the familiar scent of him.
The backs of my eyes sting as I crouch a few feet away, keeping my hands to myself even though everything in me wants to pull Lukas close and never let him go. My heart is still racing, my palms sweaty, and my knees weak. Adrenaline courses wickedly through my veins.
“You scared the hell out of me, kid,” I say gently, quietly. “You can’t go climbin’ into old, dilapidated treehouses. You could get hurt.”
Tears well in his eyes as he looks away. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.”
“I know. It’s okay. Did somethin’ happen?”
His bottom lip quivers, and his arms tighten around his knees. He won’t look at me.
“Hey, whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m not mad. I was just worried as hell when nobody could find you.”
Lukas finally looks at me, his eyes shiny and raw. “I-I broke somethin’,” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper.
I swallow thickly and nod. “Okay. What’d you break?”
“I didn’t mean to, I swear!”
“Buddy, I know you didn’t.” Reaching out, I grab his shoulder and squeeze, Lukas leaning into the touch. “You can talk to me. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”
His gaze finds mine, and my heart cracks open at the look in his eyes. The worry and guilt evident. “I was lookin’ around the back of the barn. There’s a birdhouse back there; I saw it from the kitchen window. I wanted to find out if I could see any birds in there.”
“Okay…” Did he break a birdhouse?
“Well, then I saw this r-really cool tractor back there,” he goes on, his voice quivering. “It looked really old, and I climbed up, wanting to pretend to drive it.”
“Did you crash it into somethin’?” I ask gently, my heart in my stomach.
Lukas shakes his head as fresh tears cascade down his cheeks. “The lever thingy broke off,” he says. “It broke, but it was an accident, I swear! I didn’t know what to do. I got scared that Gentry would hate me and you wouldn’t want to adopt me anymore, so I ran. Remi, I swear I didn’t mean to!”
The words and his panic hit like a punch.
“Whoa, hey.” I pull him into my arms, resting my cheek against the top of his head. “First of all, nothin’ will ever make me change my mind about that. Nothin’, you hear me? And Gentry would never hate you. Accidents happen. You aren’t in trouble.”
His shoulders shake, and he clutches onto my shirt like he’s afraid to let go. “I’m so sorry, Remi.”
“It’s okay, I promise.”
“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have messed around on the tractor, and now it’s broken because of me.”
“Kid, that tractor was broken long before you found it. It’s older than I am.”
I hold him tight, my hand rubbing soothing circles over his back until his breathing finally evens out. Pulling back just enough to look at him, I wipe the moisture from his face and cup his cheek.
“Lukas, I love you. That love doesn’t come with conditions, and it doesn’t go away because you make a mistake.” My voice cracks, but I keep going. “You’re a teenage boy. You’re goin’ to make mistakes—trust me, I know—but that will never change how I feel about you.”
His bottom lip trembles again as he nods.
“Can you promise me next time you get scared, you come find me right away instead of runnin’? We’ll figure it out together, okay? You can talk to me about anything.”
Another nod, this one accompanied by a sniffle.
“Good. Now, let’s get out of here before it collapses on top of us.”
Lukas climbs down first, and I wait for him to be safely on the ground before I make my descent. Gentry pulls Lukas to his chest, his arms tight around him.
“You had me so worried,” he murmurs.
“I’m s-sorry, Gentry,” Lukas says. “I b-broke—”
“Hey, no need for apologies. I heard what happened, and it’s okay. All I care about is that you’re okay. You gave us quite the scare.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What did I say about apologizin’? It’s not needed.” Gentry pulls back and looks Lukas in the eye. “Remington was right… I could never hate you. I love you, Lukas. You’re family now, and family sticks together even when shit gets hard.”
My chest cracks open, listening to the man I love reassure this scared, anxious thirteen-year-old boy whom I also love. My eyes get misty, and I don’t even try to hide it.
Lukas is okay.
He’s safe, and he’s here.
That’s all that matters.