Chapter One Hundred and Three
Elizabeth made every effort to include Georgiana in any and all of her activities.
She visited all the tenants, and asked Georgiana to accompany her; Georgiana declined.
She invited Georgiana to come with her to Lambton, so that she might acquaint herself with the local merchants; Georgiana declined.
She asked Georgiana her opinion about replacing the fabric on the chairs in the family breakfast room; Georgiana had shrugged and looked away.
Finally, a distraught Elizabeth marched to Georgiana’s room, knocked twice in the door and then went in. Georgiana protested the invasion of her privacy at once. “See here, Lizzy…”
“See here, Georgiana,” Elizabeth parroted back. “You are my sister! I love you! I thought we would spend time together, I thought you would help me, I thought –“ And Elizabeth finally burst into tears.
“Oh, Lizzy, I am so sorry!” Georgiana ran to Elizabeth and hugged her.
“Do you not see, Georgiana? I am in a strange place, I miss my sisters, and I miss – I miss you! What have I done wrong? Tell me, and I will do everything in my power to make it right!”
“You have done nothing, Lizzy, it is all my own stupid fault!” Now Georgiana was weeping as well. She finally managed to whisper, “I fear there is something wrong with me, Lizzy.”
“Wrong? Are you sick, dearest? Why, you should have said something! I will send for the doctor –“
“No, not like that. Lizzy, I see you so happy, laughing with Brother, the two of you touching one another when you think no one is looking, and then I know there is something wrong with me!”
Bewildered, Elizabeth shook her head. “But why, Georgiana?”
“When George tried to – tried to do things to me, I was scared! I was not happy at all! None of it felt good, none of it!”
“But of course it did not, Georgiana! You were attacked, my dearest girl!”
“Is it not like that with you and Brother?”
“Not in the least! Heavens, Georgiana, there is not a single girl in all of England who would have enjoyed Wickham’s advances!”
“Truly?” Georgiana looked almost hopeful.
“I swear it to you, Georgiana. I swear to you that what happens between a husband and a wife who love one another is nothing whatever like what Wickham did to you!” Elizabeth’s brow furrowed as she tried to think of an example. “Listen; if I stroke your face like this, is it nice?”
“Very nice.” Georgiana smiled as Elizabeth petted her cheek gently.
“Now imagine that instead I use my hand, the same hand that just stroked you, and instead slapped you. Same hand, same cheek! But one is a gentle expression of affection and the other is an attack. Would you react the same way? Would you expect to enjoy the slap as much as the stroke?”
“No…” Georgiana murmured.
“Do you not see? What is done with love and gentleness is completely different from what is done with – well, rage, or evil intent, or whatever it was that Wickham was feeling.”
“But he said he loved me!” Georgiana protested.
“No, Georgiana, he did not. I am sorry, for I think that must be hurtful to hear, but it is the truth. You love Lydia; can you imagine treating her in such a manner?”
“Of course not!”
“Would you treat me in such a manner? How about your brother? Your cousin? Is there anyone on this earth you would treat in such a way?”
“No, of course not,” Georgiana said, her voice shocked.
“Of course not,” Elizabeth echoed. “He did not care for you; he cared for himself and he cared for the idea of thirty thousand pounds, and he would do anything and everything necessary to get it.”
“But then, if someone says they love me, how do I know if it is me they love or the thirty thousand pounds, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth looked suddenly fierce, and she spoke through clenched teeth. “Because your brother and I will be there to make certain that all is as it should be.”