Chapter One Hundred and Six
Lady Catherine could bear Anne’s stubborn silence no longer. After several days of enduring Anne’s unhappiness, Lady Catherine said, “I suppose we should talk about your idea of a London Season.”
“My idea? I had rather thought it was our idea,” Anne retorted.
Lady Catherine paused for a moment, recalling how Anne had once been meek and obedient, rather than opinionated and forceful.
“No, as it happens, it was never my idea,” Lady Catherine replied, calmly.
“So you really wanted me to choose from amongst those at the ball?” Anne sounded incredulous.
“What is wrong with them?” Lady Catherine asked.
“Why, nothing! I just thought…well, I am strong now, Mother, and I am an heiress, and I cannot understand why I would not have a Season, like Georgiana.”
“I do not think Georgiana is coming out this year or next.”
“Very well, but she is only sixteen! I am already rather old for a debutante, Mother!”
Lady Catherine was silent.
“Well, what is it? Can we not afford it? Do you not wish to stay with the Matlocks? Tell me why I cannot have a Season!” Anne was insistent.
“Because I do not want you to suffer!” her mother finally exclaimed.
“Suffer?”
“Yes, suffer. You do not know, Anne, of course you do not know, how cruel the ton is! How jealous and spiteful the girls are! How difficult it is when you are not asked to dance, and you must stand against the wall, while other girls swirl round and round, laughing and smiling! And then you go back the next year, and the next, and it just goes on and on, and people laugh at you behind their hands!”
Anne stared at her mother for a long minute, taking in her mother’s long face, large nose, and thin hair, and she realised that her mother had described, perfectly, her own dreadful experience. Then it all fell into place.
Finally, she whispered, “I am sorry that happened to you, Mother. It sounds absolutely terrible, and I understand why it is that you are afraid something like that would happen to me. Might we not – well, compromise?”
Lady Catherine was silent, regretting how much she had told her daughter, wishing now that she had held her tongue. To be an object of pity! That was what she had hated most about her Season, and she certainly did not want to be such an object for her own daughter.
Anne went on. “What if we go for a month, and if I am not enjoying it, if I am having the same terrible experience that you had, then we will come back home and I will cheerfully choose from amongst the local gentry. Is that reasonable?”
Lady Catherine managed to say, “Very reasonable; I agree.”