4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Nate
I lost track of how long I’d been reading and rereading the text from my mother when my front door opened. Samantha had let herself in with the key I’d loaned her and quietly closed it behind her.
She tiptoed to the kitchen and leaned against the counter to remove her heels, probably expecting me to be asleep since it was two in the morning. That thought was confirmed when she spun around and yelped, catching sight of me in the living room, slumped on the sofa.
She pressed her hand to her chest. “Holy hell, Nate. You nearly caused a cardiac event.”
“Sorry.” I tucked my phone in my pocket and pushed to my feet. “I should have said something.”
She sucked in a deep breath and shook her head, smoothing her hand over her hair. “No, I should have been paying attention.” Tilting her head toward the back hallway, she asked, “Has Adrian had a rough night?”
“No. No rougher than normal.” I crossed the living room and joined her in the kitchen, filling a glass with water. Before I drank it, I turned to her. “Do you want something to drink? Eat?”
She chewed on her bottom lip for a beat then nodded. “Actually, I’m starving. Would raiding the cupboards be bad manners?”
“Feel free.” I leaned against the counter and sipped my water as she shuffled over the tile to my pantry.
Before picking anything out, she doubled back to the island and slipped off her black blazer, laying it down, leaving her in a silky black tank.
She let out a long sigh as she shook her arms loose.
“Was your night rough?” I asked as she peered into the pantry again.
“No rougher than normal.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, the corners of her eyes crinkling. “Don’t tell Adrian I said that. He’s certain the club is going to fall apart in his absence, and I don’t want to take that away from him.”
She peeked around the cabinet, a crooked smirk on her painted pink lips. “I’m always ravenous after work, and I can never settle down right when I get home. I fall asleep better with a full belly.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself.” This was her third night staying here, and she’d been very careful, dancing around me, asking permission before she did anything. “Really, Samantha, you’re welcome here.”
She bustled to the island, arms laden with food. “You say that now. We’ll see how you feel after I eat you out of house and home.” She pulled down a plate, then raised an eyebrow. “Do you want nachos? It’ll be more fun if I’m not eating alone.”
That got me to chuckle. “How can I say no then?”
“You really can’t.”
Pulling out a stool, I sat at the island while she made our nachos. When I found myself watching her more than I probably should have, I pulled out my phone, immediately realizing my mistake.
The message was still there, glaring at me.
Louise: I miss you, Nathan. It’s important we talk. Before it’s too late.
She’d sent it yesterday, and I was still debating whether I wanted to reply. Most of me didn’t, but a small part was curious about what she’d say, given the chance.
A very small part.
“You look serious.” Samantha slid a pile of tortilla chips and melted cheese in front of me as she took a seat on the stool next to mine.
“Yeah.” I set my phone face down on the counter. “Louise texted.”
“Oh.” She drummed her fingertips on the marble. “Oh, Louise. Your mother.”
“Right. Sorry, I forgot you don’t know her.”
“I’m sure I met her when I was little, but no, I don’t remember her. And Adrian—on the rare instances he mentions her—calls her ‘that bitch.’ It took me a second to register her name.”
I had to laugh, but it came out dry and tired. “He’s not a fan. But, hey, she earned the name.”
“Leaving your kids high and dry will do that.” She picked up a loaded chip, pausing with it close to her mouth. “Does she want to see you?”
“To talk.” I focused on the plate in front of me. “I’m considering it. My brothers won’t be happy.”
After disappearing from our lives when we were children, leaving us with a father who had no interest in parenting, Louise had reappeared this summer to let us know she was dying.
I wouldn’t have believed her, except…well, she’d looked like she was already dipping her toes in the grave.
Then Roman, our self-appointed protector, had looked into it and accompanied her to talk to her doctor.
Indeed, she was dying, and her doctors had exhausted all available treatment. Now, all there was to do was wait and make her comfortable in her final weeks or months.
I still wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Her reappearance, her imminent death…any of it.
“Do what you need to do for yourself. They’ll get over it.” Her shoulder brushed my arm. “What are you doing up so late?”
“I don’t…sleep. Not well, at least.”
“That sucks. I love sleeping. I would rot in bed all day if I could. Is your room optimized for good sleep?”
My brow crinkled. “I really don’t know.”
“Nate.” Her hand landed on my shoulder with a thud. “You clearly have no idea how important getting your bedroom’s vibe right is. Once we finish eating, we’re going to your room. I’ll tell you what you need to do.”
It took effort to swallow my mouthful of chips and cheese. “You don’t have to do that.”
Her eyes flared wide, and horror crossed her features. These past few days, I’d noticed she was incapable of hiding her emotions. Either that, or she didn’t try. Every thought, every feeling, became a wrinkled nose or rapid blink. A flush in her cheeks or sharp rise of her chest.
“Oh my god. Of course you don’t want me in your bedroom.” She covered her face with her napkin. “I’m sorry. Ignore me, please. I’m bad with boundaries and like to try to solve problems. Clearly, a deadly combination.”
For the third time tonight, I laughed. “Very deadly. How many lives have you ended that way?”
One mossy-green eye emerged from behind the napkin. “None yet, but you never know when it could happen.”
I shook my head and picked up another chip. “Don’t worry. You haven’t overstepped my boundaries. There just isn’t a point in fixing up my bedroom. I’ve been a bad sleeper since birth, and the medication I take doesn’t help.”
Her shoulders fell. “Even if you aren’t able to sleep, having a place to go to relax is important. Why do I get the feeling your bedroom isn’t that?”
“You’d be right. The bedroom is the last place I put in any effort.”
Her eyes met mine, and the double meaning behind what I’d said seemed to strike us at the same time.
She sputtered a laugh. “Oh, that’s very sad for your partners. Poor girls.”
My chin dropped to my chest. “I walked right into that, didn’t I?”
“You did.” She loaded another chip with cheese and sour cream and managed to stuff it in her mouth without making a mess of her face. When she noticed me watching, she covered her mouth with her hand, but the light in her eyes gave away her smile.
I’d never noticed how often she smiled. Then again, I couldn’t remember ever having a one-on-one conversation with her. The way she and Adrian were attached at the hip, it made sense.
Ben and Roman were convinced they were in love. I hadn’t given it much thought, but now I was curious.
Not that I would ask.
It wasn’t my business.
I looked down at my plate, surprised by how clear it was. “These were my first middle-of-the-night nachos. Thank you.”
“Really?” Her hand dropped to her lap. “What was your junk food of choice when you got back from the bar in college?”
“I didn’t really do the bar scene in college. I commuted.”
“That’s right.” She nodded to herself. “I forgot about that. Did you not want to do the whole dorm thing?”
“I don’t know.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I wasn’t willing to leave Rome, Ben, and Ade, so I never put thought into it.”
Her lashes fluttered as she exhaled softly. “They were teenagers. They could’ve fended for themselves.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want them to. And, truth be told, I didn’t want to be away from them. It was a…not-great time for me. If I had gone away…well, I’m glad I didn’t.”
I wasn’t sure I would have survived. As it were, it had been touch and go. If Roman hadn’t found me, stopped me, dragged me to get help, I might not have been sitting here.
There were still days I thought it wouldn’t have been so bad, but right now, I wasn’t minding being here so much.
Her fingers grazed my arm. “I’m glad too.” Then she swiveled on her stool, leaning her chin on her fist. “You’re cooler than I thought.”
Once again, out of nowhere, I laughed. “All the things I’ve said to you tonight have led you to believe I’m cool? Maybe we should talk about your standards.”
“Oh, we definitely should.” A crooked smile. A flash of white teeth. Light dancing on soft green velvet. “But that’s not relevant right now. I think it’s cool how open you are. That takes guts.”
“It must be the nachos.”
She gave my arm a light shove. “I’m sure that’s it. Has nothing to do with the great company.”
I tilted my head toward her. “The company isn’t so bad.”
“No, it’s not.” A yawn interrupted her next smile and she giggled. “Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks.”
“Go to bed.” I slid her demolished plate away from her. “I’ll clean up.”
“Then go to bed?”
Since I didn’t want to lie to her, all I said was, “Thanks for the nachos.”
With a sigh, she hopped off her stool. “Thanks for the chat.” Then she draped her blazer over her arm and waved. “Good night, Nate. Get some sleep.”
Yeah, it had been. A better night than I’d had in a while.
“Night, Samantha.”
I didn’t sleep, but I didn’t reread the text either.
And that was something.