Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SLOANE
No!
There was no way. The universe wouldn't be that cruel. There had to be a mistake.
MY OFFICE
I sent the text to Anita and stared at the information on my screen until she showed up.
"Is there a reason you're summoning me?"
All I could do was point to the screen. Words failed me. My brain was short-circuiting, and I was praying to a god I didn't believe in that my nightmare wasn't coming true.
"Well, fuck."
That was one way of putting it.
"Have you verified this information with Hawk?"
"That's who directed me to the discussion board." I squeaked. Actually fucking squeaked but hey, I got my voice back, so there was that.
"We have to deal with him. Are you going to be able to handle that, or do you need to sit this one out?"
That was a loaded question. Anita didn't give me time to think before she was giving her opinion. "Personally, I think you need to face this particular demon."
Easy for her to say. Anita had a take-no-prisoners attitude and handled emotions differently than I did. She could compartmentalize better. I wished I had her ability. It would've made dealing with my trauma that much easier. Instead, I was stunted in a lot of ways.
"And what happens when it breaks me?"
"First off, there's no such thing as when in this scenario. You're stronger than you realize. Second, I'll be with you the entire time. I'll be the buffer if you need it."
"And what about the team? Only you know."
I didn't think I was ready for my secrets to come to light. I know I wasn't ready for my team to look at me differently. Even though I would only tell them part of my story, they would look at me with pity.
I hated pity.
"You tell them as much as you're comfortable with. I know why you've kept it to yourself, but Lilith and Nyx won't judge you."
"No, but they sure as hell will feel sorry for me," I huffed.
"Yeah, they will, but that's just who they are. Both of them are kinder than me. Doesn't mean they will treat you any different." Anita wasn't pulling any punches, and she certainly wasn't here to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear.
"There's no other way?"
Anita pointed at the screen. "You could take the chance he'll sing like a fucking canary."
That would be worse. And there was no scenario where he wouldn't expose my secrets merely to torture me further. If my team deserved to hear it from anyone, it was me.
"Fine. Gather the team, but Hayes needs to stay out of it. At least for this part. We can include him when we discuss the information we found."
"Where do you want to meet?"
I didn't have to think about it long. "Nyx's house. The chances of Hayes stumbling in there are slim."
Beckett was busy getting to know Hayes, so Anita's house was out. Krista was staying with Lilith, so that was a no go. For obvious reasons, my place was off-limits. And everything else was a communal area. That left Nyx's house.
"She'll be thrilled to know she was the chosen one."
I wanted to believe that was Anita's attempt at a joke, but I couldn't be sure. She wasn't known for even cracking a smile let alone joking around.
Less than a minute later, my phone buzzed with a group message.
MEET AT NYX’s PLACE IN FIVE.
Straight and to the point. That was Anita's way. Of course our other teammate couldn't just leave it at that.
GLAD TO KNOW MY HOUSE IS THE NEW WORK AREA. I MUST'VE MISSED THE DISCUSSION WHERE WE DECIDED ON THE CHANGE.
Anita shook her head. "Let's go before I'm tempted to smash my phone from the constant buzzing."
Group chats weren't Anita's thing. We all knew it and usually kept its use to one-liners that didn't require a response. Anita's message ruffled Nyx's feathers, so now we were paying for it.
Nyx's tempter tantrum didn't stop when we walked into her house two minutes later.
"I see responding to a message is below you, Your Highness." She waved her hand at Anita. "Did you ever think that maybe my house isn't presentable to host guests? Huh? Huh?" Nyx glared at us both. "Or do we even care about my feelings?"
"Oh for fuck's sake," Anita growled. "Can you shut up for one damn minute so Sloane can explain why your house was the only option?"
"Oh, now I'm being used as a default. That makes me feel so much better."
Nyx was purposely poking the bear, and any other time I might've sat back and enjoyed the show but not today. I was on edge and wanted this over with.
Thankfully, Lilith showed up before I could say something I wouldn't be able to take back.
"Where's Beckett?" I asked when he didn't show up in the time frame Anita put out.
"I texted him separately to stay with Hayes. If you want, I can fill him in later on what you share with the team."
I nodded my head. "That's fine. It will ensure Hayes stays away until I'm ready to include him."
"Oh. So we're keeping secrets from the ex. Scandalous." Nyx waggled her eyebrows.
"I promise you, it will all make sense in a second." I took a deep breath. "I didn't want Hayes here for this part because if he ever finds out, this will tear him up."
Nyx's expression was suddenly serious. It was the one thing I loved about her. She could be a jokester one second, but the moment it was time to work, her game face was on point.
"I left Hayes when I did because I felt there was no other choice. I was a much different person growing up. My family had money, and there were certain expectations for me. A big one was that I remained a virgin until marriage."
Nyx scoffed at the idea.
"Yes, I know it was old-fashioned, but my parents believed it was a selling point for when they found me a husband suitable for our station in life."
Yes, that sounded horrible, but it was the way my parents lived. They had an arranged marriage, and it was always a given that I would as well.
"I had every intention of spoiling their plans.
Hell, when I met Hayes, the first thing that crossed my mind was he would be the perfect guy to give my virginity to simply because he was nothing like the person my parents wanted for me.
" I sighed. "But then I started spending more time with Hayes, and I knew I could never use him like that.
He was nothing like my parents described when they warned me about the boys on the wrong side of the tracks. "
I had to force myself to stay in the present rather that walk down memory lane. My time with Hayes was filled with love, and I treasured those moments together.
"Hayes and I decided together we would wait until marriage.
Not because my parents wanted it. Not because we couldn't find somewhere to hook up.
Where there was a will, there was a way.
However, Hayes was the product of a teenage pregnancy, and the last thing he wanted was to continue the cycle.
He was terrified of ruining my life, so we decided to wait until after marriage.
Until after we got away from his abusive parents and my overbearing ones.
What we had was special, and we wanted to keep it that way. "
Nyx's sad eyes found mine. "Something tells me those plans were foiled."
I sucked air into my lungs and trapped it there for a few seconds before releasing it with an audible exhale. "They were." I rushed to explain the rest. "Hayes' best friend raped me the night Hayes and I were meant to leave town."
Nyx let out a string of obscenities that would make a sailor blush. "Where the hell was Hayes?"
"His father beat the shit out of him so badly that he sent his friend to tell me we would need to push our plans back a day or so."
"Holy shit." Nyx hit the nail on the head. "That's why you didn't want him here."
I nodded even though there was no use. It was a statement not a question. Nyx easily put the pieces together.
"If he finds out, he'll blame himself, and that's not fair. He didn't do anything wrong."
"So, why are you telling us now? I mean I'm glad you are, and obviously based on the lack of surprise, Anita already knew, so why the sudden confession?"
Nyx wasn't accusing me of anything. She understood my need for secrecy, and she was genuinely curious why after all this time I would share something so personal.
"Because I just found out Hayes' best friend is tied up with The Givers."
"Well, fuck me sideways. I'm not sure if that's Karma's way of straightening shit out on him or if it's really bad fucking luck for you."
I snickered at that. Leave it to Nyx to lighten things up a bit and make the situation a smidge better.
"So, what's the plan?" Nyx looked at all three of us. Lilith stayed silent, but that was no surprise. If she said a handful of words a month, that was a lot.
"Simple. We tell Hayes what his friend has been up to, and then, we kidnap Toby."