Chapter 5 #3
They stopped at a light, the last one before the highway. Ghost took the opportunity to look at her when he answered, “With the right woman, yes.”
Oh, God… There went her ovaries again. His eyes screamed that she was that woman. Becks forgot how to breathe as her nipples tightened in her bra, moisture pooling at the apex of her legs. Words clogged her throat from the sudden, heated tension in the car.
The light turned green. Ghost faced the road again and headed them towards the ramp to the highway. Becks let out a low, unsteady breath. Jesus, it was hot in here. She turned up the AC, needing the air to cool her down.
“I take it your family doesn’t know about your side job?”
Becks jumped, completely unprepared for the question. “What?” She couldn’t remember what it was they’d been discussing. Was it possible for birth control to get weaker around some people?
“Your podcast? Ranger’s never mentioned it, so I take it he doesn’t know.”
“Um,” she shook her head in hopes of clearing the fog from her mind. “No. No, they don’t know. I, uh, I wanted it to be successful before I told anyone.”
“From what I’ve heard, it’s going well. You’ve been my go-to podcast since I stumbled upon it a few months ago. I’m still trying to catch up to your earlier episodes.”
Becks’ cheeks flushed. “Please don’t. The earlier ones are really rough. I think I only had three subscribers back then.”
“Nah, those are the best ones. They’re more real.”
Becks let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I recorded one in the bathroom at work because I ran out of time to record it in my studio. I kept having to pause any time someone walked in.”
The expression on Ghost’s face showed surprise, but also amusement. “I will definitely be listening for that one.”
She studied him for a long moment. “I don’t call myself by my legal name on the podcast. There’s no reason for you to look further into the podcast—unless you’re some creep who intended to stalk me and then murder me because you disagreed with something I said…?” Becks left the question open-ended.
Ghost chuckled. Actually chuckled. Holy fuck, she’d made him laugh! She wanted to do it again!
“I recognized your voice, and it’s rare for me to find something we disagree on.”
Her voice? She wasn’t sure if she should be flattered by that or not, but also didn’t want to lose the good mood he was now in. “Oh, really? Like what?”
“The Princess Bride.”
Becks tried to recall the last time she’d discussed her favorite movie on the show. She tried not to bring her own personal feelings into it, being open about facts and deeper insights into what it took to create the movies. “What about it?”
“How is that your favorite movie? When you have incredible features like 12 Angry Men or One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, how can you land on a movie that is so overrated that it has single word references?”
A hand to her chest, Becks gasped out, “Inconceivable!” in feigned horror.
Ghost shook his head, but she caught the small smile on his lips and practically glowed with pride. “You just made my point for me,” he pointed out.
Becks laughed, quite aware of that fact.
“I think it has more to do with how that movie makes me feel. Yes, there are better cinematic masterpieces. Saving Private Ryan or the Godfather trilogy. But don’t even get me started on Coda,” she threw in.
“At the end of the day, though, The Princess Bride is my favorite because it’s my go-to movie.
I watch it when I’m happy or sad or sick or when I just need a break from reality.
And I think that’s what makes a favorite movie over a great film. ”
Ghost nodded slowly. “It would certainly help me fall asleep.”
Becks smacked his arm playfully. “How dare you, sir? Action, adventure, romance, and comedy? How could you sleep through that?”
“Easily,” he answered.
Becks scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t know if I should be offended or not.” She studied him a second before saying, “Fine, what’s your favorite movie?”
“Based on feeling, not plot?” he verified.
“They differ?” she asked, intrigued. It was rare that she met someone she could talk this in-depth with on movies, the second love of her life.
“You said it yourself, there are favorite movies and then there are masterpieces.”
Becks smiled. “Tell me both then.”
“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” Ghost answered immediately. “It’s that feel-good movie for me, where I can just turn it on and forget the world around me. As for masterpieces, Blazing Saddles. They certainly don’t make them like that anymore.”
He carefully maneuvered the car around a semitruck that was going too slow.
It made Becks look at the speed he was going.
She hadn’t been paying attention, but he was barely going over the speed limit.
Did he not speed normally or was he trying to make the ride last longer?
And why, oh why, did she hope it was the latter?
They stopped at a gas station about an hour outside of the city.
Ghost had only ever been inside the Hartsfield-Jackson airport, but never driven up to it before.
He hadn’t asked if they were going inside to meet her aunt or if the woman was going to be at the pickup area. It honestly didn’t matter.
Despite that it was Becks’ cage, Ghost insisted on paying for gas. When they went inside to grab something to drink and a snack, Ghost paid again.
“I can buy my own gas and food,” Becks insisted as they grabbed the plastic bag with their purchases.
“I don’t doubt that,” Ghost told her, stepping forward to hold the door open for her. “The point is, with me, you’ll never have to.”
Becks flushed, ducking her head slightly as they headed back to her cage.
The universe did not have to take him so seriously when he’d had the absent thought about riding in a clown car with her.
He really hoped her aunt didn’t have a lot of luggage or one of them might have to ride back on the roof.
They got into the cage, reorganizing the center console slightly. Now that they both had drinks, her phone had to find a new home.
“You say that like there will ever be another time in the future where you would be around to pay for my things.”
Her voice was low, but she stared at him like he had a crystal ball that could see her future. Like he was the crossing guard that could tell her whether she should turn left or right on the path of life.
But Ghost didn’t have those answers. For the past two hours, they’d talked nonstop.
It was so easy, completely effortless. They hadn’t just discussed movies either.
Becks told him about her childhood and her father, even about how hard it was when ‘Liam’ had joined the military and went away.
They also talked about her feelings towards the man she called her ‘sperm donor’, and how she wished he stepped on a Lego a day for the rest of his life.
Ghost kept silent about his suspicions that her brother had already ended the man’s life.
She asked him about being a SEAL. He appreciated the respect she had for his position, likely derived from her brother also serving in the Special Forces.
There were just some things he couldn’t talk about.
She asked about the training and the endurance and his favorite part about being a SEAL.
Her inquiries and reactions were honest, lacking the morbid fascination people had with violence and destruction.
The one thing they did not discuss, though, was the invisible elephant riding in the cage with them.
There were moments—so pleasant that they hurt once reality came roaring back to him—where he could forget that the ring on her finger wasn’t his, that they weren’t on their way to pick up her aunt for their wedding.
Why did talking with her feel so right? Sure, her voice was incredible, unique.
The fact that it was in person instead of a recording over an app certainly had its appeal, but that couldn’t be it. There had to be more.
A part of him wondered if it would have been better if they’d traveled in complete silence.
Would parting ways with her be easier if he didn’t know so much more about her?
Or perhaps it would have been better to have found fault in something she said?
Was it too much to ask for the woman to be racist, or homophobic, or something he could despise enough to break this hold she had over him?
And for her to ask him about the future?
Ghost didn’t turn her cage on. He’d never been a coward in his life, and yet he had no idea if it was cowardly to keep his mouth closed.
But it was so selfish to open his mouth, to say what he was thinking and feeling.
There was an argument to be made that she couldn’t make an informed decision without knowing all the facts.
Yet that ring on her finger glared up at him, reminding him that her decision had already been made.
Instead, he turned in the seat to look at her.
How incredible would it be if he had the right to reach over and touch her face?
As they’d walked into the convenience store, he’d placed his hand at the small of her back to guide her through the door.
Then again, after last night, would something as simple as holding her hand really be crossing a line?
“I won’t be a second choice,” he eventually told her, “and you shouldn’t settle for being so either. But if you want me in your life, Rebel, all you have to do is say the word.”
He saw the flush on her cheeks, the dilation of her green eyes, the shortness of her breath, and he knew she wanted.
Her face fell into her hands, and she sniffled against her palms. “God, why are you here now? Why couldn’t I have met you before?” Picking up her head, she furiously wiped her eyes. “I’m getting married tomorrow, Ghost!”
He nodded. “I know. And if you love him, truly love him, and know without a shadow of a doubt that he will treat you well and love you for the rest of your life, then I’ll never say another word.
We’ll continue on to the airport, pick up your aunt, and then I’ll leave.
You’ll never have to see or hear from me again. ”
Her chin quivered. “You say that like there’s another option.”
“We have a cage,” he told her, gesturing to the car they were inside of. “There’s a lot of other directions we can aim for instead of east.”
The implication was clear.
Becks turned away from him. Her elbow on the door by the window, she bit into her fist like she was trying to stifle another sob.
Ghost waited, feeling like this was the deciding moment for the rest of his life. Every decision forward could be traced back to this moment right here, right now.
Becks wiped her eyes, sniffling as she sat upright.
She turned towards him, and he saw her answer in her eyes without her ever having to say a word.
“Ritchie’s a good man, and I love him. I can’t throw that away on something so unknown.
We just met, Ghost. I can’t…” She looked away and had to take a deep breath before she could continue. “I can’t hurt him like that.”
Jesus. He knew. Frankly, he’d known what her answer would be before he said anything, because it was the logical answer. Why would she throw away a year-and-a-half-long relationship and future marriage on a stranger?
Because as much as he felt like he knew her, they were just that: strangers.
But fuck, it hurt. Ghost had thought he’d known pain. He’d lost brothers in the desert sands, been shot and stabbed, survived BUD/s, and stood over the grave of his innocent niece who had the misfortune of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
None of it compared to this moment, when this woman rejected his offer to run away with him.
A promise was a promise, though, and he’d sworn to her that he would not pressure her. She’d made her decision, and now he had to make his.
“Then we best get going to the airport. Traffic’s going to get worse the closer we get to the city.”
He faced forward, turning the key.
“Ghost.” He refused to flinch at the pain in her voice as she said his name. “I’m sorry.”
Not knowing what else to say or do, Ghost nodded once before putting the cage in Reverse.