12. Ellie
ELLIE
I wake to the weight of an arm across my waist. I’ve spent ten years analyzing men like him from behind a viewing pane, recording the way they breathe and the way they lie. Now, his heart is hammering against my spine, and his presence is a heavy, inescapable weight against my ribs.
Early morning light stripes gold across Killian’s face. The memory of last night hits me all at once. The heat, the mirrored wall, the way I begged him. My skin flushes at the thought, but I don’t pull away. I’d do it again.
I shift carefully, rolling over to face him. He doesn’t wake. His heart is hammering slowly against my hand, his skin hot against my own.
Watching him like this feels more intrusive than the sex.
This is the version of him that exists beneath the scars and the violence.
He is, inexplicably, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.
All heavy muscle and hard lines, completely at rest. My mind spins through the variables, wondering if anyone else has ever been allowed to see him so peaceful.
So completely unguarded. The selfish part of me hopes I’m the only one.
Tracing the line of his jaw and the scar through his eyebrow, I take him all in. These used to be data points in a file. Now they’re just textures under my fingertips.
His breathing changes, and body tenses. Then his eyes snap open. Instantly alert. No grogginess. Those eyes are like a storm rolling in. All gray clouds and lightning, find mine immediately. He knows exactly where he is, who I am, and what we did last night.
“Morning,” I whisper.
He watches me for a moment, his gaze searching mine as if the memory of last night is shifting its way through his mind.
“Morning.” His voice is thick with sleep, the sound vibrating against my chest from where his arm is still heavy across my waist. He doesn’t let go, his thumb tracing a heavy circle over my hip.
His calloused fingers are heavy as he brushes a strand of hair from my face. He studies me in silence, his gaze fixed on mine as if he’s trying to memorize the exact way I’m looking at him right now.
I lean in and kiss him, and the shift is instantaneous.
His hand slides to the back of my neck, fingers threading through my hair and tightening.
A reminder of the power behind him. The heat in my belly isn’t a wildfire; it’s a heavy, low throb that makes my thighs ache.
His cock presses hard against my stomach.
I push against his shoulder, intending to straddle him, but his hand in my hair holds me exactly where I am. A wordless command to stay put until he’s ready. He doesn’t move until I’ve stopped fighting him, and then he finally lets me slide up his body.
“Show me what you want.” His hands find my hips and dig in until I wince, guiding me to take exactly what I’ve been craving.
I rock against him, feeling the throb of him through the sheets.
His eyes are dark and fixed on mine as he keeps me exactly where he wants me.
There’s no room for thoughts, only the friction of my own body grinding against the hardness of his cock.
Every motion makes the pressure build until I’m lost in the rhythm.
I kiss down his jaw, trailing my lips over the pulse hammering in his throat. A low, guttural noise vibrates in his chest as I move lower, his body going rigid under my mouth. His breathing turns into a series of short, sharp exhalations that tell me exactly where he’s focusing.
“Ellie,” he warns, his hand already tightening in my hair as I reach his deeply carved ‘V’.
I don’t stop. I want to see him. I want to own this part of him. When I pry his boxers down, the sight of him, sweet Jesus. He’s monumental, easily as long as my forearm and just as solid. It’s enough to make my breath stall. Holy hell.
“Don’t tease me,” he rasps, his hips bucking slightly. “Unless you’re ready to finish what you’ve started.”
I’m already past the point of consequences.
When I lower my head to taste him, tracing my tongue along the underside of his cock to the tip, he lets out a hiss of pleasure.
His hips buck. A single, involuntary motion that tells me exactly how close he is to losing his control.
A bead of pre-cum catches on my tongue, salty and thick, and I swallow it as I swirl my tongue around the tip.
“Look at me.”
I raise my eyes, meeting his through my lashes. He’s staring down at me, his expression dark and heavy. His jaw is clamped, that single muscle jumping in his cheek as he drags his thumb over my bottom lip, opening me wider for him.
“I want to see your eyes while you wrap your lips around my cock,” he growls.
I take him as deep as I can, and it’s immediately too much.
He hits the back of my throat and I gag around him, my eyes streaming.
I have to focus just to keep breathing, working my jaw wide enough to take him.
I pull back, spit-slick and desperate, then take him again.
I work through it, finding a rhythm between breaths, watching his thighs go rigid.
He’s all groans and tense muscle now, completely at my mercy. It’s powerful. Exhilarating, even.
“Fuck,” he groans, his fingers threading into my hair and yanking my head back until his eyes lock on mine. “I’m not done with you yet. Get up.”
I pull back, a thin strand of saliva connecting us for a second before I’m hauled up his body. He kisses me deeply, tasting himself on my tongue.
“I want you on top,” his hands grasp my hips and hoist me over him. “I want to watch you fuck me, Ellie.”
I hesitate, my body suddenly stiff and awkward as I take the lead.
I’m waiting for the criticism, for the reminder that I’m doing it wrong.
Nathan’s harsh words start to crawl back in.
Killian’s expression changes, his eyes narrowing as he reads the hesitation.
He tightens his grip until I wince, pinning me exactly where he wants me.
“He didn’t care about what you wanted, did he? He only cared about himself. Seeing you like this would have been a threat to him.”
He doesn’t have to name Nathan to know he’s the one who destroyed my confidence.
“I’ve got you,” he reassures me as his hips rock, rubbing his cock over my clit. Oh God. “Just sink down and take it. I want to feel every inch of you.”
I reach down, my fingers guiding him into place.
I’m terrified I’m going to make a fool of myself, that I’m exactly as broken as Nathan said I was, but as I look at Killian, all I see is his need.
I trust him even if I don’t trust myself yet.
When I finally sink down, the heavy pressure of him filling me makes my mind go quiet.
“Fuck,” he rasps, his hips rocking as he guides me down. “I want to stay exactly like this.”
I lift off him until only the tip of him is inside me, then drop back down and take all of him at once.
The drag of him pulling out and pushing back in sends a heavy pulse of heat through me.
The sensation is raw, my whole body humming as I do it again and again.
An involuntary moan escapes as the pressure builds low and heavy in my belly.
“That’s it,” his fingers digging into my hips to guide the rhythm. “Take all of it, Ellie.”
I arch back, a gasp tearing out of my throat as my hips hit his, finding the spot that sends a shock of heat straight up my spine. My nails bite into his chest as I slam my hips down, securing the exact angle to make it happen again.
He bucks up to meet my next slide down. “Good girl. Don’t stop.”
I abandon whatever rhythm I had. I’m driving myself down against him, my nails biting hard enough to draw blood. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. Every slide drags out a heavy, blinding ache that I can’t control anymore, the pressure building until my whole body locks up.
“Look at me.” He catches my hips, his fingers digging in as his hips thrust up, driving the last brutal inch into me. “Watch me while it hits.”
The first contraction hits, pulling my stomach tight.
I bite down on my bottom lip, my internal muscles locking around him as the ache finally peaks.
One of his hands slides between us, his thumb finding my clit with a heavy, circling pressure.
The dual sensation is too much. I’m being split apart from the inside out.
Peak after peak ripples through me. Killian lets out a low, rough groan that vibrates through me so deeply it makes my heart stutter. His head falls back, his neck muscles standing out as he spills everything into me.
I collapse against his chest, my body still on fire as the adrenaline finally fades. He wraps his arms around me, his fingers still digging into my skin as he holds me through the aftershocks, his heartbeat loud against mine.
“Don’t ever let yourself believe you aren’t enough,” he whispers into my hair. “To me, you’re everything.”
I look up at him, my eyes watering for a reason I can’t name. I’m waiting for the “but,” the condition I’ve always been forced to meet, but it doesn’t come. He pulls me closer, his lips pressing a kiss to my forehead that silences every doubt.
A door shuts somewhere in the house, followed by the rhythmic beeping of the coffee machine. Killian’s muscles go taut against me before he lets out a long, slow breath and pulls me in even tighter.
“We should get up. Gabriel is waiting.” He gives me one last kiss on the temple before he finally pulls his arm away.
----------
Downstairs, Gabriel is already at the kitchen island.
Fresh coffee is brewing, the scent of dark roast filling the kitchen.
He has three monitors set up, maps of the property glowing in the dim morning light.
An empty mug sits next to his keyboard. He hasn’t slept, but his fingers are steady as they move across the keys.
Gabriel pauses, his fingers hovering over the keys as we walk in. He raises an eyebrow, looking from Killian to me and back again, before returning to the maps. “I take it the morning was... productive. We have company at the gate.”