10
Lia
“Get dressed. We’re leaving.”
I wake up to the weight of a heavy plastic bag falling on top of me.
“Fuck! Ow! Asshole!”
For a moment, I’ve forgotten where I am. When I am. It’s like we’re back in school, and I’m insulting the cute boy who makes my heart flutter, just so I can ease the pain in my chest.
It’s not a cute boy but an enraged man who glares at me as I rub the sleep out of my eyes before sitting up slowly, reaching a hand out to make sure Aurora is still sleeping beside me.
He turns around slowly, and I lash out in a mocking tone, “Aren’t you gonna watch me get dressed?”
He looks back over his shoulder, his features so hard they make me shiver. “I’d rather kill myself than see you naked.”
Oh.
I was trying to hurt him, but I’m the one whose eyes are stinging when he slams the door hard enough to wake Aurora.
Blinking quickly so she doesn’t see me cry, I look through the bag of clothes, finding a pair of jeans, some crop tops, two dresses and fresh contact lenses.
There’s lots of stuff for Aurora too, and all of it in the right size.
I wonder passingly who bought it, but I forget about it when Aurora starts to whine.
“I’m hungry, mama,” she says while I get her dressed.
I hunt in yesterday’s bag for a banana, some biscuits, and a bottle of water.
“Milk, mama,” she whines harder.
“Shh, baby,” I croon, kissing her curls. “I’ll get you milk soon.”
Wondering how I’m going to keep that promise, I take off the shirt and jeans caked with mud that have gotten uncomfortably stiff overnight, then dig through the bag again, hesitating between a pair of jeans and a dress.
Do I want to look sexy? What will he say if he sees me in this? Will he hurt me again? Do I… do I want him to?
I’m still naked and hesitating when the door opens again, and Logan clicks his tongue in impatience.
“Seriously? This isn’t a fucking fashion show. Just put anything on. Here, this is fine.”
The red dress I’d just been thinking about wearing is lying in a heap on the floor. I swallow nervously, because I just don’t know how I feel about the idea of going around with something this sexy in front of him.
The thought I had yesterday about offering my body flits through my mind again, but this time, it doesn’t elicit the same kind of reaction.
It felt like a safe, albeit disgusting thought when I had it in front of Everest. I knew he’d never take me up on it. I’m aware he’s more interested in… well, drywall… than in my tits.
But I just don’t know what Logan would do. Is there anything still hiding underneath the anger?
Maybe I should try. For Aurora. To buy her safety.
I wouldn’t be above selling my body for her.
It’s a pretty fucked-up thought, but it’s only just starting to take shape in my mind when he suddenly whips me around, apparently intent on forcing me to get dressed.
But then his eyes land on my breasts. Despite the uncomfortable thought that’s slowly been taking hold of me, I automatically squeeze my arms together, trying to hide them, but he forces my hands back down, trapping my wrists in one hand.
“Everest!” he calls out. “Take the baby downstairs!”
“No, no, no,” I protest, as he grabs the bedcover and drapes it over me just as Everest pops his head in. “Don’t take her from me, Logan. Please.”
I try to reach out to Aurora, but Logan locks his arm around my shoulders.
And yet, he adds gruffly, “I won’t hurt her. I don’t hurt kids, Lia.”
“Only women, right?” I mock, angrily trying to break free from the arm that crushes me.
“No. Only you.”
Before I have time to react, he turns his head to Everest. “Put her in the car seat, okay?
“The car seat?” I stammer in confusion.
“Isn’t she supposed to sit in a car seat?” questions Logan, snapping his head back at me. “She’s two, isn’t she?”
“Uhm, yes.” I frown, wondering how the hell he can possibly know that. I’m aware he hangs out with Carmelo, but I doubt the latter remembers her age. And he’s definitely never thought of getting her a car seat.
“Well, go on, Everest,” presses Logan.
There’s an edge to his voice that I could almost imagine is needy. I open my mouth to protest again, but the second Everest reaches the bed, Aurora lifts her arms up, spreading her lips in a broad smile.
“Piggyback ride,” she requests.
I let myself relax just a bit when Everest gives her a goofy smile, then leans down to pick her up. “Is it okay, Lia, if I bring her to the car?” he asks.
“It’s okay,” grunts Logan. “Get the kid out of here.”
“I was asking Lia.”
“Uh…” I swallow nervously, watching Aurora smile happily at Everest. I guess if there’s anyone I can trust with her, it’s the drywall-loving Ken-doll. “Okay,” I accept at last.
At once, Everest lifts Aurora up, giving her the much-desired piggyback ride.
Despite yesterday’s conviction that I would spiral if I ever left her side, I actually breathe a sigh of relief when the door closes, knowing Aurora is with someone kind, rather than with…
the guy who’s currently got his arm around me.
“She looks like you,” he breathes into my ear as soon as we’re alone.
“Oh,” I mumble. “Uhm, thank you.”
Then I bite my lip as his hot breath leaves my ear and I feel it instead against my neck, and down my collarbone.
For Aurora. Do it for Aurora.
But apparently, selling my body is easier to think about than to do. I’ve had sex exactly once in my life, and it wasn’t my choice. It wouldn’t really be my choice this time either, even though I know Logan wouldn’t hold me down and force me, unlike Carmelo.
He may be capable of a lot of things, but I don’t believe he’s capable of that.
Do it for Aurora.
My body is so tense that a cry leaves my lips when I suddenly feel the tip of Logan’s nose and then the rest of his face as he… nestles it against me.
“Wh-what are you doing, Logan?” I gasp.
“Shut up, Lia.”
He stays like that for a while, resting his head against the nook between my neck and my shoulder. I wait mutely, my body tense with confusion.
What the fuck?
Yet despite how strange it is, it feels… soothing, in a way. At least, soothing enough that I let my guard down, just a bit.
Which only makes it harder to steel myself once again when he tugs down the blanket he’d wrapped around me.
No. I can’t do it. I can’t do it!
My chest is heavy with what my mind is trying to force me to accept. It’s almost like I’m protecting myself in a way when I snap, “I thought you’d rather kill yourself than see me naked.”
“Shut up, Lia.”
I’m back to biting my lip as he slides his hands around my neck, then down to my breasts. I inhale sharply as he cups them, before tweaking my nipples.
I can’t do it!
I turn away, my eyes stinging.
But I can’t stop the name from spilling out of my mouth anymore than I can help breathing.
“Logan…”
Then I snap my mouth back shut when I see the scowl on his face.
“What is it, Lia?” he growls. “Don’t you want it? Don’t fucking lie to me. I can tell your pussy’s wet.”
My face flames as I follow his eyes down to the space between my legs. In my sitting position on the bed, my folds are visible, and so is the damp spot forming under them.
What the absolute fuck?
While my chest has literally been aching with the thought of selling my body for safety, my lower body has been responding… like this?
I try to squeeze my thighs shut, but Logan keeps them open by pushing his knee between them.
“Well, Lia?” He finds my nipples again, and this time, he twists them so hard I let out a cry of pain. “You have three seconds to tell me to stop. Three…”
If I thought he was twisting my nipples before, this is on another level. He absolutely crushes them while counting down. “Two…”
“Ahhh!” I scream out, writhing beneath him in pain.
Any sane person would want this to stop, at least. But somehow, the more forceful he is, the more my lower body reacts. While my brain seems to… shut off. Something twists in my lower stomach, sending sparks down to my toes.
I can’t understand what is happening to me.
“One.”
Logan’s lips flatten into a smirk. “You’re a little masochist, aren’t you? I should’ve known you wanted to get it as bad as you gave it.”
He tumbles me down, landing on top of me, his hand wrapping itself around my neck. “So you belong to Carmelo Moretti, huh? Well, I guess I’m just gonna have to borrow his possession.”
I gasp as he shoves two fingers roughly up my pussy, the intrusion making me clench all over.
The strange neediness that his fingers torturing my nipples had elicited in me vanishes suddenly.
The idea of selling myself for safety disappears just as abruptly.
All that’s left is the realization that I can’t do this.
I haven’t been touched there since Carmelo held me down and raped me. I guess he only likes taking what isn’t his, because the minute we got the marriage certificate, he lost all interest in me.
Despite the way Logan is lying on top of me, I manage to curl up just a little, his fingers reminding me of what happened to me three years ago.
Don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. Stop!
I squeeze my eyes shut, expecting him to continue fingering me, to worsen the torture. I tense my body and try to force myself to take it. I have to! I don’t have a choice!
Instead, his fingers leave me just as suddenly as they penetrated me.
I manage to open an eye, and my stomach sinks when I see Logan’s face. He looks as white as a ghost.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d imagine he was… upset.
“What the fuck?” he mutters.
Then he stands up, edging back from the bed. At once, all my determination floods back in. I need him to take my body. I need him to use me. I need to buy my safety—Aurora’s safety.
“Wait, Logan,” I say feebly.
“Get dressed,” he grunts, turning away from me.
Then he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.
Fuck.
Did I just lose my one chance to save myself?