Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Well, that was better than expected.
Who was he kidding? That was fucking fantastic.
Carson tangled his fingers through Liz’s hair, reveling in the weight of her head on his chest and her occasional sleepy sighs of satisfaction.
While he was hesitant at first, wondering how much he’d be able to do with his injury, Liz had taken it completely out of the equation. Had taken charge. Done all the heavy lifting.
And he liked it.
Scratch that. He loved it.
Never in a million years would he have guessed it, but having Liz on top ordering him around…
It was hot. She was hot. A hazel-eyed goddess of vengeance, riding out to conquer her foes.
Or at least tame them into submission. If Carson had his way, he would have her tame him another time or two before he finally let her go.
Not that he wanted to see her go.
He stroked a lazy hand down her back, satisfaction curling inside him as she responded, cuddling closer with a faint, smirking grin on her lips.
Damn, he could get used to this. Waking up to her. Falling asleep with her. Talking. Kissing. Fighting. Making up.
“Hey.” Liz stirred, lifting her head, and blinked sleepy eyes. Her grin slid from smirking to shy.
“Hey.” He tilted her chin and dropped a kiss on her lips.
“How are you feeling?”
Carson barely held back a snort. “Me? I’m great. How are you? Tired after your long ride?”
Liz raised a shoulder in something that looked like nonchalance. The smile tugging at the corners of her mouth said otherwise. “I’m feeling pretty good.”
“You should.” He skimmed his fingers down her arms, delighting in her shiver. “You were amazing.”
“You weren’t bad, yourself.”
“Thanks. For the record, though,” Carson added, “that was nothing. Give me another week or so and we’ll see how good you’re feeling.”
“I mean…” Liz licked her lips. “If you want a second chance, see if you can improve on anything, I guess I can let you try.”
“Challenge accepted.”
Liz pulled a monster cookie out of the container and nibbled. “Thank you for sharing.”
Carson swallowed his bite of chocolate chip cookie before answering. “Are you kidding? What we did deserves all the cookies.”
She made grabby hands for the container, but he moved it farther away. “Okay. Maybe only half the cookies.”
Liz pouted. “Are you withholding cookies for sex?”
“No. I’m withholding my cookies regardless of sex.” She scowled, and he scowled back. “Get your own sex cookies.”
“I’m trying, but you keep moving them away.”
“How do you think your niece would feel if she knew I was feeding you cookies, naked?” Carson broke off a piece of his cookie and popped it in her open mouth. A small morsel of chocolate lingered on his finger. She sucked it off before he had a chance to do it himself.
“I think her jaw would be on the floor and her tiny preteen brain would explode because she’s twelve,” she said, licking her lips. “But I think older Emily would absolutely love it.”
“Because she has a crush on me?”
“Maybe. But also because it’s making me happy.”
A cloud of heaviness washed over their moment of joy. “Have you not been happy, Liz?”
She lifted a shoulder.
“You have a great life here. A great career. And that award. I thought it was everything you’ve always wanted.”
“Except you.”
Her words were soft, yet they hit him with the weight of a sumo wrestler. Not only because of what it meant for her, but for him as well. He took another bite of cookie, chewing through his thoughts as they coalesced. “I know what you mean.”
“Really?”
Carson took a breath and locked eyes with Liz. “There’s never been anyone but you.”
Suddenly it all made sense. Why no one seemed to hold his interest. Why he never pulled the commitment trigger. Why his relationships fizzled before they’d ever gotten a chance.
Because none of them were Liz.
Carson’s heart thudded in his chest.
Fuck. His ex, Nicole, had tried to call him on it. Had gently suggested that he was self-sabotaging and asked him point-blank if there was someone else. Not only had he scoffed at her, but he’d doubled down and taken her on a sexy weekend to Cancun.
He’d promptly broken up with her the day after they returned.
He should’ve known better. She was a licensed therapist, after all.
“How did I not see it before?” he muttered.
“Because you were an idiot?” Liz not so helpfully supplied.
“Um…thanks?”
Liz quirked a smile. “We both were. Are?” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m as confused as you are.”
Carson snorted. “I doubt that.”
“Let’s just say no one else has quite measured up to the Carson-sized hole you left in my heart.”
“Liz,” he breathed.
She held up her hand and continued, “And I may or may not have found reasons to push people away.”
Carson ran his thumb over her hand. “Because you were hurt.”
She nodded.
Emotion jammed his throat, and he swallowed around it. “Because I hurt you.”
Gripping his fingers, she shrugged. “Because we hurt each other.”
“God, Liz. I am so sorry.”
“Don’t.” Nuzzling into him, she kissed his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Well, I mean, it does, but it happened.”
“And now we’re here.”
Liz nodded. “And now we’re here.”
Silence stretched between them as the past evaporated. Carson pulled her closer and laid his head on hers. “What happens now?”
“You mean besides trying not to be idiots again?”
Carson chuckled. “Oh, I can guarantee you I will be an idiot again.”
“Same. Probably more than once.”
“So, maybe it would make sense if we stuck together, then.”
“Be idiots together?”
“Exactly. So we don’t expose our idiotness to others. Keep it contained.”
Liz tilted her head as if in consideration. “Apart from your total butchering of the English language, you do have a solid point.”
“Idiotness is totally a word.”
“No, it’s not.” Liz patted his thigh. “Thank goodness you’re pretty.”
“Hey.”
“But in a totally manly way.”
“Good save.”
“Now, if you could only learn how to thumb wrestle.”
“Well, it would help if you weren’t a cheater.”
“Please. It would help if you didn’t suck at thumb wrestling.”
Ugh. This woman! How did she know which buttons to push and how to push them? How to make him crazy and turn him on all at the same time? And how had he lived without her for so long? More importantly, did he want to live without her again?
The thoughts stampeded through Carson’s brain, and surprisingly, he let them. Let them run free while he sifted through them. Didn’t cut them off at the knees before they got a chance to grow. Didn’t bolt and push them away like he had with every relationship since her.
Huh.
Liz patted his cheek. “What’s the matter? That big, manly, brain of yours short-circuit?”
Carson blinked as his thoughts coalesced. “Yeah.”
“What?” Liz looked like she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right.
Turning slightly, he locked eyes with her, briefly debating the wisdom of his words.
Then decided to air them before he chickened out.
“Yes. My brain totally short-circuited. Because of you. You’re the one who short-circuited it.
Back then. Now.” Liz’s lips parted, and he lightly closed her mouth before she could interrupt.
“And I don’t know what the future holds.
None of us do. But I do know one thing—I’d really like for you to keep short-circuiting my brain. That is, if you want to.”
It was Liz’s turn to blink. Repeatedly. Followed by a shy smile. “Are you asking me to go steady?”
Carson barked out a laugh fueled by a mixture of surprise, relief, and something that felt like teenaged giddiness. “Yeah. I guess I am.”