Chapter 8 - Marco
I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom. I would normally have been disgusted by now. But tonight, it wasn’t my face I was staring at.
It was the marks.
His mouth had been on me. Alexei had overwritten Brad’s violence with his own.
I was ashamed, but my cock twitched in my pants anyway, growing half-hard just from looking at the evidence of his mouth on my skin. I hated myself for it.
I raised a hand anyway. My fingers brushed lightly over the darkest mark right below my jaw. A soft whimper escaped me before I could swallow it. My hand trembled as I traced lower, following the trail he had left.
I couldn’t stop.
My palm slid slowly down from my neck, over my collarbone, then lower across my chest. My breath grew heavier, unwanted heat warring in my gut until my fingers brushed over the growing bulge in my pants.
I rubbed myself through the fabric. The friction felt good, too good. I pressed harder, palming my cock while staring at the dark bruises on my neck. This was wrong. He had hurt me. He had marked me without permission. And here I was, getting hard from it.
I was getting fully hard now. I shoved my pants down just enough to free myself, my erection springing out into the cool air. I wrapped my hand around it, my eyes staying locked on my neck in the mirror.
I started stroking, twisting my wrist on the upstroke the way that always made it worse.
Precum dripped over my fingers. My free hand moved back up to my neck, fingers pressing hard into one of the fresh bruises.
The pain bloomed. My hips snapped forward as I fucked my fist, chasing the feeling while the marks stared back at me.
My legs trembled. I leaned closer to the mirror, breath fogging the glass. My balls drew up tight before I felt my release spill over my hand.
But once it was over, the high crashed hard.
I looked up at my own face in the mirror and once again felt disgusting.
What was I doing?
I yanked my hand away from my cock like it had burned me.
I quickly turned on the faucet, washing my hands aggressively under the scalding water, trying to scrub away the evidence of what I had done.
Soap. More soap. I scrubbed until my skin stung.
But the disgust stayed. It lived under my ribs now, I couldn’t even look at myself anymore.
I turned off the light and retreated to my bed, curling up under the covers with my knees drawn tight to my chest.
***
I woke up at 3:17 a.m. The pain was back and it wrapped around my chest. It always came at night, but that was good, because I couldn’t let my parents know.
They already worried so much. If they heard me now, they would come running, and I couldn’t bear adding more weight to their shoulders. I pushed myself up.
The room tilted. My legs were weak as I swung them over the side of the bed. I paused, gripping the edge of the mattress until the dizziness eased just a little.
I moved, one hand trailing along the wall for balance.
The stack of pills sat on the corner of my desk in a small plastic container, the emergency ones Mom insisted I keep close.
My hands shook as I opened it, the pills rattling loudly.
I counted them out carefully, swallowing them dry one by one.
They tasted bitter on my tongue, but I forced them down anyway.
After the last pill, I shuffled back to my bed and lowered myself down. I curled up tightly on my side, knees drawn to my chest, arms wrapped around myself. My oversized sleep shirt bunched up around my frame.
It would get better, I told myself, repeating the words. It would get better. It always did eventually. The pain would fade. The dizziness would pass. The weight on my chest would lift and I would be able to breathe again. I just had to wait it out.
It would get better.
***
I didn’t like parties. But one of the kids from the scholarship program was throwing a small gathering at their house, and I told myself it might help. I hadn’t been feeling good lately. My health had been getting worse and on top of that, I was rattled. Deeply rattled.
It had been two weeks since Alexei left those marks on my neck, but I could still feel him. I felt wrong. Tainted. Like something inside me had shifted and I couldn’t put it back.
I invited Rei too. Maybe a normal night with my best friend would help.
The party was smaller than I thought. Rei looked effortlessly cool as always. We danced together for a while, nothing serious, just jumping around like idiots to the beat, laughing when I stepped on his foot.
Then a girl approached me.
She was about my height, maybe a few centimeters taller. I didn’t recognize her from any of my classes. “I am Lena,” she said, tilting her head toward the speakers. “You wanna dance? The song is pretty good.”
I felt weird. No girl had ever approached me before.
No guy either, really. People usually looked right through me.
I glanced at Rei, unsure, my stomach twisting.
I didn’t really want to leave him alone, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to dance with her.
But Rei just smiled and gave me a gentle nudge, saying quickly that I should go have fun.
So I did.
Lena was easy to talk to. She laughed a lot, pulling me into the middle of the makeshift dance floor.
She took out her phone at one point and insisted on taking pictures.
“For the memories!” she said, grinning. One of them involved her leaning in and pressing her lips quickly to the side of my neck, right where the worst of Alexei’s marks had been.
A wave of revulsion hit me so hard I almost pulled away.
It felt wrong. So wrong. That spot was his.
We danced for a few more songs, banter flowing easily between us.
A little later, after Rei sent me away again once he noticed she seemed to want more time with me, she grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the back door. “It’s too loud in here. Come on, let’s get some air. The backyard is actually nice.”
I hesitated but let her pull me along. It was quieter out here, the music muffled. Lena led me toward a darker corner near the back, still holding my hand.
“Why are you so quiet?” she said, turning to face me with a small smile. “Nervous?”
“A little,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck self-consciously.
“You’re sweet,” she said, stepping a little closer.
We talked for a while longer. I managed a few shy jokes back, but then Lena leaned in slowly, her eyes half-lidded, lips aiming for mine. I wanted to stop it. I wanted to step back, to say something, to push her away, but my body locked up completely.
Then a hand shot out from the shadows, grabbing her by the hair and yanking her back so violently she almost screamed.
Alexei stood there like a nightmare come to life. He wasn’t even looking at her. His gaze was locked entirely on me, intense and possessive, while he spoke to her.
“I suggest you move before I snap your neck.”
Lena knew exactly who he was. Everyone did. She tore herself free and bolted back toward the house, stumbling once before disappearing inside without a word.
Alexei’s hand fisted in the collar of my shirt and yanked me forward. I stumbled after him, clutching desperately at his wrist with both hands.
“Let me go!!” I cried, voice cracking. “stop, please—”
He dragged me across the yard toward a black car parked at the back. I dug my heels in, but my frame was nothing against his strength. He shoved me against the hood of the car, pinning me there.
“Be quiet,” he growled, and then he smashed his lips to mine.
He drove his tongue inside immediately, forcing my mouth open wider as he claimed me completely.
He sucked on my tongue, bit my lower lip hard enough to sting, then dove back in, fucking my mouth with dirty strokes that left me whimpering into him.
One of his hands gripped my jaw, holding me exactly where he wanted while the other pressed hard against my lower back, grinding me against the car.
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. My hands pushed weakly at his chest, but it was useless.
When he finally pulled back, I was gasping, lips swollen and wet, eyes glassy. A thin string of saliva connected us for a second before it broke.
“You’ll pay for that little stunt.”
He spun me around roughly and bent me over the front of the car.
The position was humiliating. My chest pressed against the hood, ass pushed out toward him, legs spread just enough by his knee.
My cheek scraped against the metal as I tried to push myself up, but he held me down with one strong hand between my shoulder blades.
“Wait, what are you doing?!” I gasped, panic spiking as I felt him yanking my pants and underwear down. My bare ass was on full display.
I really wished I was more like Rei and could turn around and hit him in the balls for this, but I couldn’t.
So instead I started cursing him in Italian, the words spilling out fast and frantic because I was too terrified to say them in English.
I knew if I called him names he understood, he might actually kill me. “Non toccarmi, cazzo—”
A smack landed on my ass. I yelped loudly.
“Keep running that mouth and I’ll give you something worth screaming about,” Alexei warned as his large hand rubbed over the reddening mark he had left.
His fingers dug into my hip, holding me in place as I squirmed, still bent over the hood, pants around my thighs. “Let go…” I whimpered, the fight draining as another firm smack landed on my other cheek. “Alexei… "
Smack.
“Start counting, Malyshka.”
I didn’t understand what that word meant, but I was too overwhelmed to think about it. My mind was spinning.
Smack.
“One,” I gasped out.
“Good boy,” Alexei murmured, his hand rubbing over the burning skin tenderly before pulling back and delivering another slap to the other cheek.