Chapter 20 MIA #2
Mortified, Mia escapes upstairs to her room and shakily sits down on the bed.
She traces the watercolour flowers on her duvet cover with a finger while she sniffles.
She won’t cry over Sam. What is there even to cry over?
An unread text? She’s tougher than that.
She can walk away from this with a lesson learned.
But as her anger dissolves, it’s replaced by a burning sense of shame as her embarrassment at Sam’s snub rises.
Despite her best efforts, a few tears trickle down her cheeks.
She feels like she’s constantly getting things wrong, taking risks and opening herself up when she shouldn’t, and closing herself off to the people who truly care about her.
Swiping away the tears, Mia checks her makeup in the dresser mirror.
A few steadying breaths and minor touchups and she’s back in business.
She needs to go back downstairs – no use making everyone wait for her.
But before doing that, she slides the top drawer open and removes her grandmother’s earring, holding it in the palm of her hand, the gems sparkling in the soft morning light.
Standing there in her bedroom, Mia can practically smell her gran’s lilac and rose perfume.
It had always comforted her when she was younger.
Grandma Joan was a strong, confident woman, who refused to let anyone diminish her light.
Mia can be like that. She can be strong and independent, even if she has to be alone.
She pulls out her phone and opens the messaging app. Ignoring the unread text, she fires off a quick message to Lucy.
Merry Christmas to my ridiculously hot, impressively fit friend.
Then she sends another text to her book club thread wishing them all a Merry Christmas as well.
Her coworkers all respond right away, sending along pictures of them with their families.
The rush of well wishes makes Mia smile.
Men may be completely impossible for her to work out, but her girls are in her corner.
She won’t die alone when she’s old. She’ll always have Lucy.
Her phone vibrates. Lucy’s reply fills the screen. Merry Christmas to my wonderfully skilled friend who is a culinary wizard!
Mia smiles, thankful for Lucy’s predictable cheerfulness. Her phone vibrates again.
Also, I have news! Look what Tim got me for Christmas!
A picture comes through – it’s Lucy looking excitedly at the camera, left hand extended. A gorgeous and obscenely large diamond placed prominently on her ring finger.
I won’t be able to wear it during yoga obviously. But I’m engaaaaaggggeeedd!!
Mia stares down at her phone, her vision of growing old with Lucy fizzling out like a spent sparkler. Lucy is getting married.
Oh my God, Lucy, congratulations!!! You’re going to be such an absolute stunner of a bride. Tim is one lucky man.
Lucy responds with a text that is just garbled letters and exuberant emojis.
Drawing in a deep breath, Mia tucks her phone into her waistband and hurries down the stairs.
So, Lucy is engaged. That means that when she marries, which will likely be next summer, Mia will be the only one of her friends who’s still single.
Here’s Mia who can’t even hold on to a guy past the first time they sleep together, while all her friends are moving on with their lives.
Maybe she can take up another hobby? Something really time consuming like cross-stitch or learning to play violin, so she doesn’t have time to think about how crushingly alone she is.
Mia’s family – plus Sam – are gathered in the front room, waiting for her.
John is still notably absent, and Mia makes a mental note to go searching for him at the first opportunity.
He must have returned to the cottage and she missed him on her way up.
Aunt Gertie is fussing with the record player in the corner, trying to coax the battered device into playing the record she’s chosen.
‘Ah, there you are, dear. All right, let’s begin!’ Penny claps her hands together to get everyone’s attention. ‘Sam, be a dear and play Santa, will you? Martin usually does it but his knee is bothering him. He can’t be bending under that tree over and over.’
‘Sure thing, Mrs Robinson.’ Sam has to walk past Mia to reach the tree.
As he does, he sends her a questioning look where he seems to be almost begging for an explanation for her resumed coldness.
Yesterday’s Mia might have given in and talked to him, but today’s Mia knows better.
She squares her shoulders and takes a seat beside her father on the sofa, angling her entire body towards him and effectively turning her back on Sam.
Martin reaches over to pat her thigh. ‘You doing OK, bella?’
‘Of course, Dad,’ Mia responds, as brightly as she can. Her father sends her a worried look, but she simply continues smiling, even as Sam places a wrapped gift in her hands.
‘Mia,’ Sam says her name quietly, and there’s a distinct question in his voice. A flutter rises in her stomach at his proximity, but she shoves it down. Does he really think he can just act like everything’s fine? She waits in stoic silence until Sam moves away.
‘All right, does everyone have something?’ Penny gives a queenly nod. ‘You may open them.’
There’s a flurry of tearing paper and exclamations. Martin chuckles as he removes a silk tie from a sturdy box. ‘Oh, you clever minx, you. When did you sneak back to the shops for this? I just pointed it out on Tuesday.’ Penny giggles and accepts Martin’s kiss of thanks on her cheek.
Mia is immeasurably thankful for the distraction of Christmas morning.
She may be an idiot for nearly falling for Sam’s charms again, but sitting here with her family is so much better than trying to nurse her broken heart in solitude.
Aunt Gertie waits impatiently as Mia unwraps her gift.
Inside is a richly coloured scarf – clearly vintage and probably French. ‘Aunt Gertie, this is beautiful.’
‘I know how you love the vintage things, dearie.’ Aunt Gertie nods, wreathed in smiles. ‘I thought of you the moment I saw it.’
‘It’s perfect. Thank you so much.’
Sam moves into Mia’s line of vision and the ache in her throat swells until she can’t say anything else. She shakes her head in confusion. How is it possible that she is still so bad at reading this man?
‘My goodness!’ Penny exclaims, withdrawing two bottles of white wine from a neatly wrapped box. ‘My favourite Chablis!’
‘That’s from me and Molly,’ Charlie offers with a smile. ‘And thanks, Dad, for the hat. It’ll keep my ears warm when I’m waiting for the bus.’
‘That’s exactly what I thought,’ Martin says.
‘I told you lot I don’t need anything for Christmas any more,’ Aunt Gertie objects good-naturedly. ‘But I do appreciate a new electric blanket for these old bones.’ She nods at Penny, who returns her smile brilliantly.
Sam patiently continues passing out presents until there’s a massive pile of paper on the floor and the space beneath the tree is bare.
Mia manages to avoid speaking to him in any way, taking her presents from him with a frosty nod of acknowledgement each time he approaches.
By the last time he approaches her, Sam has the air of a dejected puppy.
He sets the present at her feet and then clears his throat.
‘Ah, I’m going to go call my family and wish them a Merry Christmas.
’ Mia’s lips twist in a satisfied smile.
At least she won’t have to deal with him for the next few minutes.
Sam pauses in front of Penny on his way out.
‘Thank you so much for the gift of being with your family while mine are away.’
‘Well, of course.’ Penny reaches up to pat him on the shoulder. ‘We’re so glad you could be with us, Sam.’ As he heads to the stairwell, Penny grabs her face with her palms. ‘Oh dear, I’ve forgotten the cinnamon rolls!’
‘I’ll grab them, Mum,’ Charlie offers. He stands and yanks Mia up from her spot.
Her presents tumble to the floor around her – a marble rolling pin, a pound of her favourite coffee from Charlie (and Molly, allegedly) and several vintage editions of books from her father.
‘And Mia will help me with the rest of the breakfast stuff, won’t you? ’
‘Sure?’ Mia lets herself be pulled along.
Charlie clearly has something on his mind, and in her experience there’s no reasoning with him until he’s said his piece.
He doesn’t say anything until they reach the kitchen.
Charlie clads his hands in oven mitts and pulls the perfectly toasted cinnamon buns from the oven. ‘Want me to cut the fruit?’
‘Yeah, I’m crap at cutting equal-sized pieces,’ Charlie responds.
‘It’s because you rush it.’ Mia grabs a knife from the drawer.
‘Are you ready to tell me why you’re in such a foul mood?’ Charlie asks.
‘What do you mean?’ Mia says innocently as she thrusts the knife through the grapefruit she’s picked up with surprising vigour.
‘Don’t play dumb with me. You couldn’t be more obvious. Things were finally improving between you and Sam. And now today you’ve returned to being the ice queen.’
‘I didn’t realize you paid this much attention to my life,’ Mia retorts.
‘You’re my sister.’ Charlie lets this statement stand on its own, as if it needs no further explanation.
‘When’s Molly coming up?’ Mia asks, setting aside the grapefruit halves as she moves on to slicing a melon.
‘She’ll be here this afternoon. But don’t try to change the subject.
’ Charlie sighs, and runs his hand through his hair.
‘Mia, you’re my sister,’ he repeats. ‘And Sam is my best friend. Two of the people I care most about in this world. I really hoped you two could work this out, especially if you spent some actual time around each other.’
‘So that’s why you invited him here? Even though you knew how I felt about him?’
‘Look, I know as your brother I’m supposed to be firmly in your camp. And believe me, Mia, I am. But this entire time, you’ve refused to look at that night through any lens other than your own. It’s frankly maddening.’
‘I’m sorry that my suffering has caused you so much unrest.’ Mia’s tone couldn’t be more sarcastic, and Charlie rolls his eyes.
‘Don’t pull the drama queen act. Why don’t you try having this conversation like an actual grown-up?’
‘Sure thing, Charlie. Just as soon as you stop inviting the person I hate most in the world to join our family for Christmas!’ Mia arranges the melon slices on a plate with shaking hands. After the disaster that was this morning, she can’t believe that Charlie’s now giving her a hard time too.
She wipes her hands on a towel, and rests her palms on the cool stone counter. To her surprise, Charlie comes up and wraps her in a hug. ‘Hey. I’ll always be on your side. You know that, right?’
Mia pulls away until she’s facing him. ‘I know. But this has been really hard, Charlie.’
Her brother studies her carefully. ‘But you’ve also been happy, do you know that?
Happier these last few days than I’ve seen you in years.
’ He sighs, releasing her and stepping back.
‘You never even gave him a chance to explain. After that night, Sam was so devastated and he wanted to talk to you, but you’d blocked him on everything.
And then you recruited Lucy to keep him away from you at uni … what was he supposed to do?’
‘He humiliated me, Charlie.’
‘I know. And I also know it was an accident.’ Mia makes a face, and Charlie shakes his head.
‘Truly. You need to hear his side of the story. Do you know how many times Sam asked me if you were OK? Begged me to arrange things so he could talk to you and apologize in person? I never did it because I thought I was supposed to be in your court. I was trying to do the right thing – which I thought meant being the protective older brother. I told him to leave you alone or I’d make him regret it.
But now I’m wondering if that was the right call.
Maybe I should have helped him have an opportunity to talk to you.
It could have saved you both a lot of heartache over the last few years. ’
Mia takes a minute to process everything Charlie has just told her. It’s unsettling, to say the least. ‘Charlie, I had no idea.’
‘I know. I know you didn’t. And that’s what I’m trying to say.
Sam’s not the evil genius you think he is, Mia.
He made a mistake years ago, and he’s been torn up about it ever since.
I swear to you, I’m not trying to hurt you.
You have to believe that, OK? I think it would do you both a world of good to talk it out.
Let him explain his side of the story, and then go ahead and tell him again how much of an idiot he is, if it will make you feel better.
Heck, I’ll go toss him face first in the snow when you’re finished, if that’s what you want.
But give the man a chance to clear his conscience.
And hopefully help alleviate some of your own hurt as well.
’ Charlie gives her a brilliant smile. ‘After all, it’s Christmas!
What better time to make nice with someone.
The story practically writes itself.’ Charlie glances down at his phone.
‘Whoops, I need to get going! I’m going to pick up Molly from the coach station.
’ He tucks his phone in his pocket and checks for his keys, then pauses and looks at Mia straight on. ‘Hey, are you all right? Are we good?’
Mia raises her chin. ‘We’re good. I’m not making any promises that I’ll talk to Sam, but I’ll think about what you said. I promise.’
Charlie considers this, then nods. ‘Good enough. Well, I’ve got to run. Make sure Mum doesn’t start lunch without us, OK? We’ll be back in time.’
‘I’ll hold her off. If need be, I’ll mistime the Yorkshire puddings so that you have a buffer. But don’t dawdle, Charlie. I’m dying to meet Molly.’
‘Sure you are,’ Charlie scoffs. ‘I know you all think I made her up. But she’s actually the loveliest girl.
I think I’m gonna marry this one, Mia Tia.
She’s incredible. You’ll see.’ He kisses the top of her head and then rushes out to the hall, grabbing his heavy overcoat on his way out the door.
Mia takes a moment to collect herself and then picks up the pan of cinnamon rolls and heads into the front room, mulling over her conversation with Charlie.
It’s unlike him to be so direct and serious, and she can’t shake the feeling that there’s truth in what he said.
She never gave Sam the chance to explain himself.
And she doubts that hearing him out could be any worse than what she’s already suffered at the man’s hands.