Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Mother’s health had deteriorated for so long, I had expected her death at any time. But now that it actually happened, I was not prepared.
I stood there, numb. I didn’t cry or even scream. Every hair on my body was standing on end, and the entire world went silent for a moment.
It took me a minute to realize that Keanu had taken my shoulders and was saying, “Oli. Oli, are you alright?”
I stared past him, as if he were invisible, the same as the night we met.
“How did she die?” I asked Peter instead. “Was she in pain?”
“The doctors said she finally succumbed to the sickness. Many of the people in the kingdom have grown immune to the illnesses that spread from the foreigners that come to the ports, but, unfortunately… your family is new here and… your sister sent word that she passed peacefully.” He quietly finished with, “She was already so sick.”
Mother didn’t stand a chance. She was already sick when we arrived, and Peter was right. There were many foreigners here, and many traders at the port.
“Where’s my sister?” I asked, feeling a fog blur out all of my thoughts and emotions.
“She is preparing the body for burial.”
Burial… Mother was going to be buried. She was gone. Gone. Gone.
I tried to console myself with her last words to me: Thank you for bringing us here. I feel very peaceful in this kingdom.
She died peacefully, I tried to reassure myself of that. But all I could feel was a gaping hole inside of me.
It was then I collapsed to the ground and broke into sobs. I felt Keanu holding me, his skin warm, my face against his scarred chest. I fell into him.
Mother was returning to the ‘aina. She was going home to Kāne.
And no doubt a night marcher will take her home…
I stood by Kiki during the funeral services.
Neither of us could speak, our faces streaked with tears and our voices hoarse from crying.
A priest gave some tender words, and, much to my surprise, Keanu spoke.
His words were full of comfort, and even though he hadn’t known my mother, he spoke so highly of her by describing attributes he’d seen exemplified by myself.
He spoke of the way I tended the men at the fields on the night that Kalani attacked. Of bravery and compassion. He said a woman learned these values of compassion from others, and, in my case, it had to be my mother. Our eyes met when he finished with a riddle.
“A crownless queen with love so wide,
Her strength is heart, which none can hide.
For others she stands, never seeking her own,
In her care, true royalty is shown.”
My mother was a queen, not me. Sure, I was crowned queen when I married Keanu, but he was right: in her care, she really did show she was true royalty.
I’m not a real queen. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be one anymore. How could I be with Keanu? He took my father’s days. And now he took mine.
“Come on,” Kiki said, pulling us away from the grave after we’d let some dirt drop from our hands into it.
I spent the rest of the evening with my sister, walking along the shore together in silence.
When night arrived, I bid her goodnight, then made my way to the palace.
Alohi trailed behind me in the darkness.
The lantern in my hand cast a warm orange glow, and the coconut palms swayed in the breeze above.
I was grateful to be alone. It was my first moment in a few days to just breathe. And now, before I encountered Keanu, I really had to sort out all my emotions.
Mother is dead.
Father is dead.
Both gone within months of each other.
And all because of Keanu. He bargained with my father. Furthermore, because of my bargain with him, we were here and mother’s sickness escalated until her death.
I shook my head, admitting the truth to myself: I was falling in love with the man who caused my family’s misfortune. Sure, father had not provided much. Sure, he was a drunk. But he was still my father. And he still taught me all the skills I knew.
Which made me realize… despite my father’s weakness, I kept forgiving him. Kept hoping that maybe he’d care enough about himself, my mother, and sisters to stop drinking. And even though I knew the facts: that he pawned me off to Pulu and kept my family in extreme poverty… I still loved him.
That hit me like a wave.
Was it possible to forgive someone, and keep loving them, even if it wasn’t the logical thing to do? Of course I didn’t have to put myself in a bad situation, but could I forgive Keanu and move forward?
I want to.
As I looked at the shadowy path ahead, I could see that a figure waited. At first I thought it was Keanu, based on the height.
But when the light of the lantern touched his face, I saw it was Malakai.
“I’m sorry about your loss,” he said, walking beside me, as if he’d been waiting for me.
I glanced at his belt, but no sword hung from it this evening.
None of the soldiers or the king had their swords at the funeral, so this was not suspicious.
“People lose loved ones all the time,” I replied quietly, thinking about the men in the field the other night. Thinking of my father too.
“I don’t wish to alarm you,” Malakai said, his voice suddenly full of worry. I glanced at him. Did I trust this cousin of Keanu? “But you’re truly running out of time. I thought Keanu would get impatient with you but now I see.”
“See what?”
“He’s stalling.”
“Stalling?”
“Stalling until your days run out.”
“Why would he do that?” I frowned, a sick feeling entering my stomach.
“You know the answer to the riddle, don’t you?” Malakai pressed.
“I’m not sure…”
“I believe your mother didn’t just die by accident,” he said, speaking quicker with each word. “Keanu has allowed foreigners to roam among the people. He knows it will kill us, but he doesn’t do anything about it.”
I thought about what Keanu had said earlier that day. He didn’t see the foreigners as a threat, and he allowed them because of Kane.
“He’s trying to get you to sacrifice yourself, don’t you get it?” Malakai sighed, impatient. I stopped on the path and faced him.
“How do I know you’re not trying to get answers out of me?”
“I promise you, I know my cousin better than anyone else. All he cares about is keeping the throne. He doesn’t truly care about his people or even about you, Oliana.”
I blinked, hoping the hurt of that statement didn’t reach my eyes. I wanted to believe Keanu cared about me.
“He only cares about himself. That’s why he took your days. That’s why he’s letting them waste away. He’ll take as many days as he can get. He didn’t even feel guilty about taking your father’s days either.”
I froze.
Malakai frowned. “He didn’t tell you?”
My head kept spinning. “He told me…” And Keanu would keep this cycle going… or would he?
Keanu took my father’s days… Perhaps this was the truth that I hid under my romantic feelings: Keanu didn’t care for me. He didn’t care for anyone, except himself. He would take anyone’s days just to live longer.
Live forever. Keanu was defying Kāne. He was outright disrespecting him! I tried to swallow, but none of this felt real.
I really believed Keanu loved me. He made it seem so real.
But none of this is real. Nothing. Was. Real. I had known it from the start.
What a fool you are, Oli! A fool!
“What do you suggest I do?” I asked. My nerves were already so fragile from my mother’s death, I couldn’t think clearly.
“You have to break the curse. He can’t become a night marcher again. He’ll just keep stealing people’s lives.” Malakai looked desperate.
My voice felt tight as I said, “But… he has to become one with the shadow. He’s already played the deadliest game–”
“Which is?”
“Falling in love with me.”
Malakai gaped. “Are you sure he’s in love with you?” Then he looked sorry. “Are you in love with him?”
“I… I don’t know.” I started shaking.
His cousin sighed. “I truly feel sorry he’s tricked you, Oliana. You must help him become one with the shadow and pay the price. You shouldn’t have to atone for his wrongs.”
Before I could reply, Malakai looked down the path.
“Oli?” Keanu’s voice sounded.
“Don’t let him fool you,” Malakai warned in haste. “I promise you. He’s not who you think he is.”
“Oli!” Keanu came jogging down the path, his expression turning from relief to concern. He looked from me to Malakai. “What’s going on here?”
I was white with terror. I couldn’t even look Keanu in the eye.
He’s not who you think he is…
“I just saw her on the path and was going to walk her back to the palace,” Malakai said, his voice full of concern.
His desperate expression was wiped off his face, replaced with a look that promised he truly was doing his duty and escorting the queen.
My distrust of him grew. I was not good at faking my way through things, but it seemed like everyone else could put on a face so easily.
Could I trust Malakai? Or Peter? Or Keanu? Could they all put on a mask? I never felt so lost.
Keanu’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oli, are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” I feigned a smile but still couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day and I want to rest.”
“Of course.” He offered his arm, which I took. I hoped he couldn’t feel the way my fingers trembled or hear the way my breaths were short and shallow. Keanu gave Malakai a look before leading me back to the palace.
When we were a distance from his cousin, he asked, once more, “Are you sure you’re alright? You look pale. Did Malakai say or do something to you?”
“My mother was buried today,” I snapped back, my emotions a mess. “I’m just exhausted.”
He let go of my arm to rub my back. “I’m sure you are. I’m sorry, I won’t ask any more questions.” True to his word, he didn’t ask questions.
After I washed and prepared for bed, I got into the sheets without a word. The ginger tea sat on the nightstand, untouched, and when my husband got into bed and took my hand, silent tears streamed down my face. I thought I should let go, but I didn’t.