CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
T his was the problem with being a good man.
There were rules. Restrictions that came with it.
For example, you can’t call bullshit when your girl tells you her mom’s sick.
Even though she hadn’t been diagnosed with anything yet.
Because then not only would you not be a good man, you’d also be a dick.
Just once, I’d like to be a dick.
Riley was upset. Obviously. She’d rubbed her wrist so hard; she’d left a red mark.
“Petal.” He went to her. Bouncing down on his couch cushions, his hand went to her knee. “It’ll be okay, I promise. We’ll work something out. Together.”
“They want me to move home.” His jaw clenched again, like it had the first time she’d told him that. Of course they wanted her home. It was hard to control someone’s life when they were a two-hour drive away.
You’re being a dick.
He was. But only in his head. He was giving himself that.
“I know, baby. You haven’t told me what you want to do though.”
“I don’t know.” She let out a heavy sigh. “I just keep thinking about something happening and me not being there.”
Wade squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on his breathing. He needed to stay in control.
“They need me.” Riley went on. “My mom does everything. She cooks. She cleans. She pays the bills. If she can’t do that...then I need to step in. I need to help, because they’re, well, they’re my parents. I have to go back, right?”
If she was asking Wade to agree, then she was shit out of luck.
“Listen to me, darlin’.” He kept his voice gentle. “You don’t have to move back home to help them. Yes, you’ll need to go back more often, and yes, if you want to help with money or cooking or cleaning...you can do that, too. But you have to know it’s possible to do all that without moving back.”
“How can I do that from here?” Doe eyes met his.
“We can do it together.” His hand lifted from her knee, and he laced his fingers through hers.
“We will work out your hours at the restaurant, so you have more time to go back and forth. We can bulk cook meals, freeze them and take them over to your parents so they always have food. We’ll get a cleaner to go over every week for them.
And financially...if they need help, we can work that out too. Together.”
Her eyes went so wide that she looked like she’d seen a ghost. “I can’t...you can’t do that. It’s not your responsibility to do all that.”
“Riley, I love you. With that love comes responsibility. A responsibility to be there for that person. No matter what. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses...but when you love someone, you show up.”
“When you love someone, you show up,” she repeated to herself quietly, her gaze hitting the floor.
Hearing her say those words out loud should have been comforting.
But it wasn’t. The way her voice shook made dread pool in his stomach.
He knew that she was applying that logic to her mother.
Letting it feed into her guilt. So it wasn’t a surprise when she jumped up from the emerald loveseat and announced, “I have to move back, Wade.”
Fuck.
“Because you want to?” He made sure to ask carefully.
“No. Because it’s the right thing to do.”
He didn’t agree. Maybe it was because he could never imagine his mother asking him to make such a sacrifice. Or maybe it was because he’d witnessed firsthand how her parents manipulated her. Either way, he knew that if she went back now, it wouldn’t just be for a few months. It would be forever.
Picking himself off the comfy cushions, he levelled her with the calmest stare he could muster.
“I don’t believe for one second that giving up your life is the right thing to do.”
Her hands shot to her hips and more dread swirled. “So you’re telling me you wouldn’t do the same thing for your parents if they needed you?”
“They wouldn’t ask.” He was quick to reply. The feeling of his nostrils flaring was a reminder his composure was slipping.
“So my parents are in the wrong for needing my help?” That was a fucking trap. Which meant he didn’t reply. Which also meant, Riley went on. “Not everyone has three other siblings to share the load. I’m all my parents have.”
Her voice was getting louder, while Wade’s muscles were getting tighter.
“Your uncle is there,” he pointed out. Regretting it the moment he witnessed steam radiate off his woman.
“Say what you need to say, Wade,” she goaded. Another trap. “You obviously have an opinion on this that you’re holding back.”
He wasn’t going to fall for that, either. “You don’t need to move back home to help them, Riley. That’s all I’m saying. Don’t let guilt make this decision.”
“Guilt? You think I feel guilty? You think that’s what this is about. I’m going to help them out of guilt? Well sorry to break it to you, but you’re wrong. I’m going to do it because this is what you do for family. What you do for love.”
That was a lie. Not that he didn’t believe a person would do what she was doing out of love. Plenty would. And did. She, however, was doing it out of guilt.
“Fine,” he snapped. “Let’s talk about love, darlin’. Let’s talk about what happens when you love someone.”
His voice rising only made the wall Riley had already put between them stronger as her facial expression hardened. It didn’t deter him though. If she wanted his opinion, then she was going to get it.
“When you love someone, all you want is for them to be happy. Even if that means being without them.” She wasn’t getting it, so he continued.
“You told me that for the first time in your life, you’re happy, Riley.
Here, in Woodvalley. Your parents know that too.
Now think about it. Really think.” He paused, giving her time to try and absorb what he was saying.
“When or if you have kids—is that what you’d want for them?
Knowing they were finally happy after however many years and asking them to give that up, to look after you? ”
Moisture pooled in her big brown eyes. He wanted to go to her. Pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. But the second he saw her denial blaze; he knew he’d lost her.
A moment later, she was gone.
***
“S he’s gone?” His mother was frowning almost as much as he was.
“She’s gone,” he confirmed. But the nausea hadn’t.
After their discussion, he’d given her some time to cool off before heading down to her trailer. When he got there, she was gone, and so were her things.
Not knowing what to do or where to turn, he’d gone running to his mom. Over coffee and cake on her white wood deck, he’d told her everything.
He’d never been much of a sharer. He was questioning that now. It felt good to get everything off his chest. How he felt about the woman he’d only been seeing two and a half months. His concern about Riley’s parents. And everything in between.
His ma just listened. She didn’t judge. She didn’t interrupt. She simply nodded. But now he’d got to the end of the story, he needed more. He needed her to tell him what to do.
“So?” he asked.
“So...what?” His mother cut off another slice of orange sponge cake and pushed it onto her plate.
“What do I do?”
“You know what to do, son,” she declared before taking a big bite of cake.
She was wrong. He hadn’t a damn clue what to do. Which was exactly why he was there. Begging his mom for help.
When he didn’t reply and likely pulled some sort of hopeless expression, her eyes flicked up in disbelief mid-chew. He waited out her eating, only to hear his mother sigh.
“Wade Evans,” she hissed as a pointed finger waved in his direction. “Don’t you dare sit there and pretend you don’t know what to do.”
What is she talking about?
“I raised you right, didn’t I?” Huh? Another heavy exhale escaped her lips. “Okay, son. Let’s try this another way. Let’s pretend one of your brothers was in a similar situation and they came to you for advice...what would you suggest they do?”
“It’s not the same,” Wade immediately denied, knowing full well what his advice would be. His mother stayed quiet, pinning him with a no-nonsense stare as she plopped another chunk of sponge cake in her mouth and chewed. “Ma, it’s not the same.”
It was the same though, and he knew it. And that pissed him off again.
If he’d had gone to Matt, Jonah or Zach for advice, they all would have told him the same thing, so he didn’t know why he expected a different answer from his mother.
She had raised them all the same. To know what love is.
And what to do with it when it comes along.
“You want me to say it?” she caved. “Fine.”
I should have called Matt.
At least then Wade could call him an asshole while his brother laid it all out for him. There was no way he’d call his mom an asshole unless he had a death wish.
“You fight. You claw. You don’t give up,” his mother continued. “You love her harder until she gets it.”
Love her harder.
How the hell was he supposed to do that? Especially when she was all the way over in Silver Valley.
“You need to get creative,” his mother said, already one step ahead. “You don’t have to agree with her choice to do what she’s doing, you just have to support her. That’s what love is.”
He hated the situation her parents had put her in, but his mom was right, he loved her more.