Chapter 2
Nikki closed her eyes and listened to the rustle of the wheel before throwing down the clay. She’d planned to get through the bowls before the end of the day so she could have them ready to be shipped early in the week, but she kept making the rim too thin, so it split every time she stretched it down.
Selling pottery online to make ends meet was never meant to be a long-term job, but then God had done a miracle. A small homeware company in New York City had seen her work, and she’d signed a contract that meant she and her mom could afford to live comfortably doing what she loved. Even if she wasn’t where she wanted to be. But that meant getting the bowls done.
After working the same ball of clay for an hour, she’d decided to ditch it and start again, coning a new lump up and down. But she was no longer trying to create anything as she pushed every other thought from her mind and focused on the sound. She added water to the shape and continued the process .
“I can’t see a way forward.” She mumbled out the prayer, the sound barely lifting above the whir of the wheel. “But I won’t allow myself to grow weary.” Up and down the clay went. “You said you’d never leave us or forsake us, but I feel really alone right now. If you could send someone to help carry the burden—” The tower of clay listed to the side. She added more water and gathered it back up into the middle, smoothing it out. “—I would appreciate it,” she continued. “I know you give me all the strength I need, but I?—”
The words were dull and acrid in her mouth, and she fought against a moment of resentment. It was a hollow request she’d made. She’d been alone for too long to believe God would change anything. If she was going to continue to fight, she’d have to make peace with the knowledge that it would be on her own. Or she could give in like everyone else had. It wouldn’t make any difference. Those who had turned their backs on God in this town were in the same position as she was.…
No, that wasn’t true. She had a business that didn’t rely on the wealth of the town. Not everyone could say that. God had provided, and she’d have to find contentment the way things were because she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. She couldn’t leave her mom and her mom would never leave, even after the way she’d been treated. It didn’t make sense.
She pressed the back of her wrists into her eyes. The clay was heavy and tight on her hands, and the longing to give up continued to tug at her. For a moment, she thought she might give in. She wanted to, but she’d been down that road before, spending pointless hours face down on her bed, begging God to do something. But He never did. What He had done was give her the strength to claw back out of the pit she’d allowed herself to fall into and to resist it again and again.
She reached for her clay, shaping it, then pressing her thumb and finger into the center to open it up before building up the walls again. If it wasn’t so much easier to wallow in self-pity than keep her chin up, life would be a breeze. But for all her threatening in mini tantrums to give up, she knew she never would. She couldn’t. Maybe that was why He persevered with her.
The rim split again, and she barked in frustration, pushing back from the wheel. She marched around the small shed before making her way outside into the garden in her backyard. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her face to the sun. It was a comfortable temperature outside, but the rays were unrelenting. If only it would rain.
She looked to the house where her mom was inside somewhere, knitting or reading a book. For all that Nikki struggled with life, it was her mom who’d had it the hardest, especially after her only child had gone off to college and everything in town had changed.
Nikki pressed her lips together. Or maybe the criticism had been in the church the whole time, and she’d just never noticed. But whenever it had arrived, it was the year she was away when things got really bad for her parents. If her dad hadn’t died of a heart attack, he probably would have been thrown out of the church he’d planted .
She wanted to blame those who’d treated him the worst for his death, and maybe they were to blame, but there was no point holding a grudge. The church had closed after it lost its pastor, and things in town went from bad to worse. They were suffering enough.
At times, she believed God had asked her to remain and fight. Her heart would ache, and a fierceness would rise within her when she believed He hadn’t given up on the town of Asher even if she wanted to. But so far, the darkness had only continued to grow as people who had proclaimed Jesus as their Lord and Savior now looked to those disgusting totems for wisdom even if they said they didn’t believe in anything. They were getting what they asked for, and she had to live with it. And for now, she’d continue to live with it and push aside her longing for someone to come beside her. Someone to fight with her. For change to finally come.
Gideon found a motel twenty miles outside of town. The carpet was stained but clean, and as much as he’d wanted to leave after his encounter with his dad the day before, he’d decided to stick around a little longer and give his dad one more try in the morning, once he’d slept off the alcohol.
He was also curious to find out what Charlie had been talking about—and what it was that had him unsettled about the guys that had turned up at the bar. But he’d only let his patience carry him so far. If his dad didn’t give him a chance today, that was it. Gideon would consider his obligation fulfilled. He’d been obedient coming here, but it was up to God to open up a way forward.
He walked to his car in the morning sun. Now that summer had arrived, there was enough warmth that the dry breeze was welcome. Tufts of clouds dotted the sky, teasing of rain. But the weeds continued to struggle for water. The only reason the grass hadn’t deteriorated to dirt was because of the dew that appeared every night. Even with the heavens shut up, God still offered a little reprieve to the earth, just not enough for the town to prosper.
He took his time driving back into town, reframing his visit. If his dad needed help selling the business, he could help organize that. Maybe even find him a new place to live. Somewhere easier to access. That would be enough to still his soul and get on with life.
When he drove close to the square, a bigger crowd than he’d expected had gathered. You wouldn’t even know it was the same town. A good sign that not all was lost.
Around the corner, he stopped outside the workshop and rang the bell. The sounds from the market stirred in the air while he waited, but no one came to the door. He was probably sleeping off the night before.
“I’ll give him an hour,” Gideon said as he got back in his truck. “Then I’m done.” He drove back around the corner and found a spot closer to the markets. “One hour.”
He got out of his truck and crossed the road, studying the carvings on the totem pole as he got close. It was good work as far as skill went. Someone who had a gift for carving had put a lot of hours into creating objects that made him a little sick to look at. Their ominous shadows spread across the park, and as he looked, he noticed that the stalls formed lines, starting at the totems and moving out.
“What do you think?” A man had walked up beside him. A well-built, good-looking guy in his forties wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
It was hard to find anything positive to say. “They’re new.”
“So, you’re not the stranger I took you for? You’ve been to Asher before?”
“Yeah. I’ve got family here.”
Despite the man’s engaging smile, Gideon was unnerved.
“A family connection, huh? We’ve had it tough around here for a few years, but these people are strong and resilient. I’m proud of the town we’ve created amidst the drought. I’m Phineas, by the way. Phineas Knox. I’ve lived here for about a decade now.”
“Gideon.” The men shook. “I was surprised to see the markets were on. When I drove in yesterday, it looked like the town had been abandoned, but this is a good turnout.”
“Yeah. People love it. It’s kind of like a religious experience.”
“Religion? I always thought markets were a place to sell stuff that you make.”
“If you want to oversimplify, and probably most markets are, but other towns don’t have what we have. ”
“Which is?”
Phineas nodded toward the totems. “They’ve brought peace in uncertain times.”
“Oh yeah? How do they do that?”
“I can see you’re an unbeliever. That’s okay. We welcome all kinds around here. In fact, there are plenty of folks who don’t proclaim the power of the totems, but they still believe deep down.”
“You mean like a superstition? Touch wood. That kind of thing?”
“Exactly. They say they don’t believe, but they were as happy as the rest to see these towers of promise erected—I can see the cynical look on your face.”
“I don’t mean to be so obvious.”
“It’s okay. You’re not from around here, so you haven’t experienced the hardship that these people have faced.”
“What do the totems have to do with that?”
“It was when they turned to a higher power that the rain returned.”
“The rain returned?” Gideon looked up at the sky.
“For a short time. I’m working on that.” He pointed to the booth behind him. It was full of dream catchers and art depicting spirit animals and the third eye. A large, vibrant sign advertised a medium. A few people were milling around waiting for him to return to his table.
“You’re a medium?”
“I sure am.”
“And these totems, I take it you played a part in getting them installed? ”
“I created them—well, I say I created them, but my talent comes from a higher plane. I was simply the vessel.”
Gideon nodded. “You have a lot of talent.”
“Kind of you to say, considering I know what you really think of them.”
“They’re not to my taste.”
“They transcend beauty.”
“I see. If I remember correctly, this town used to have a large group of Christians. Have they given you any trouble about this?”
“I was ushered in at just the right moment, when those same people began to realize that the god they served was, in fact, no god at all. Simply a collection of well-meaning—yet destructive—stories to lead people away from the truth. But they were ready. When they were finally prepared to leave those arcane teachings behind, they embraced the truth. All it took was the searching.”
“Interesting.”
“I can tell you’re searching too. While you’re here, would you like to come into my booth? Maybe I can make a believer out of you after all.”
“No, thanks.”
“You sure? I can see you’re very troubled.”
“I’ve got cares like the rest of the world.”
“Yes, but for you it’s…it’s different. You’re hiding a truth from the ones you care about. Or the ones you are trying to care about.”
“I said I didn’t want a reading.”
“I’ve made you uncomfortable. I apologize. But please, the offer is open. If ever you need direction, come see me. I’m an excellent listener, and maybe I can even open your heart to your life’s true path.”
“Thanks for the offer. But it looks like you have a few people waiting for you already.”
“I should get back to them. I hope to see you around again.”
“Yeah.”
The man was charismatic, and Gideon could see by the response of those he returned to that they looked up to him and trusted him for answers. It was disturbing. Especially after what he’d said to Gideon. His words had gone straight through to his soul. But whatever tricks the devil liked to pull, Gideon wasn’t about to fall for one so blatant. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for those who were about to be given advice from the father of lies. Desperate times made people reach for the easiest solutions to their problems. They exchanged the truth for a lie and worshiped created things instead of the creator.