Chapter 15 Cayla
Cayla
Dinner with Zynea was always a good distraction from life.
Vicariously, I lived through her. She told me about all her adventures of traveling for work, and I smiled as she shared.
When it was my turn to give her my life update, I sat across from her, crying my damn eyes out.
Although I tried not to, these damn pregnancy hormones had me all over the place.
She reached over the table and held hands with me with a sympathetic glare.
“I just hate that I’m pregnant with his baby,” I admitted out loud for the first time.
Orion was the definition of a man who turned from day to night.
He made Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde look like a cake walk.
Things I used to admire and love about him when we first started dating had vanished.
My biggest regret was not leaving his ass alone the first time he acted funny.
Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
“Cay, it’s okay.”
It actually wasn’t. I was bringing a baby into this toxic space that he and I had been living in for the past five months.
I used the back of my hand to wipe my eyes.
I didn’t even get into how I suspected he was cheating.
Finding that shit out had made me meaner.
I was already holding a grudge over Mello, but to know that he was possibly stepping out on me while I was pregnant made me hate him more.
I had gone through his phone one night and saw a thread of deleted text messages between him and one of his bartenders.
Recently, he had added food to Obsessions, and I would go down there for their wings.
This one skinny, dark skinned bitch would side-eye me whenever I walked through the door.
Although I never brought it to his attention, I walked with that weight on me publicly.
Every chance I got, I spoke my mind and told him about himself.
Sometimes, I even got verbally disrespectful because I knew deep down that he was disrespecting me.
Once I got my tears under control, I listened to the pep talk from Zy.
Of course, it was filled with affirmations of me being the shit.
Zynea spoke words of positivity, letting me know that, despite all Orion’s bullshit, I was going to be a great mom.
After she poured into my confidence cup, there was a slight moment of silence.
Zynea leaned back in her chair, swirling the last of her drink.
“Cayla,” she said, her tone careful, “you’re sure you don’t want a baby shower? You’re carrying life, girl. It’s something that should be celebrated.”
I pressed my napkin into my lap, smiling a little but shaking my head.
“I’m sure, Zy. I’m not even in the mood for the shit. I just… want peace, you know? I don’t have much longer, anyway.” I rubbed my stomach at the end of my statement.
She sighed, clearly not satisfied, but she didn’t push me. Instead, she reached across the table to hold my hand.
“Peace, it is. But don’t ever forget that you deserve more than the bare minimum, though.”
After finishing up our meal, we walked out of the restaurant together.
We hugged it out before parting ways. When the valet brought my ride around, I slid behind the wheel of a fully loaded black Jeep.
The leather seats still smelled new because I barely drove the thing.
It was a gift from Orion that I really didn’t want, but I knew I needed.
It was his way of making up for Mello. A car to replace a soul.
I hadn’t said that out loud, but the thought clung to me every time I gripped the steering wheel.
The night air was cool, and the city lights bounced off the hood of my Jeep as I drove through the streets.
I had the music playing low, but my thoughts drowned it out.
By the time I made it home, I spotted Orion’s car parked out front.
For a Friday, I wasn’t expecting to see him at all.
I parked in the available spot behind him.
My chest tightened as a ripple of nerves ran through me.
Being around him lately did that to me because I never knew what I was walking into anymore.
I could be facing soft Orion, distant Orion, or storming Orion.
I honestly wasn’t in the mood for the latter.
I cut the engine, sat there a moment, then forced myself out.
For some odd reason, walking to the front door felt uneasy.
I stood on the porch for a while, digging into my purse until I could pull my phone out.
I tried to log into the security system to see the cameras, but I didn’t have access, which was weird.
He must have changed the passcode on me.
My hand shook as I quietly unlocked the front door and then pushed it open.
My swollen belly brushed against the frame.
I already knew something was off. I could feel it in my chest before I even saw it.
His cologne hung thick in the air, but it was laced with a sweetness that I didn’t wear.
As I walked lightly toward the living room, I kept sniffing the air.
This womanly smell in the atmosphere was pissing me off, and I needed an immediate explanation for it. Orion had some answering to do.
I rounded the corner to the living room, and there he was.
Half his shirt pulled off, he leaned back on the couch with that bartender bitch giggling against him like she belonged there.
My heart dropped straight to my stomach.
Everything I’d been holding onto flashed before my eyes.
The nights I cried alone, the way I told myself he loved me, the way I let myself believe we were building something for this baby, the way I said to myself that this space we were in was just a hump, and that we would make it out of this storm. It all shattered right there.
“Really, Orion?” My voice cracked, but my blood was boiling hot. “I’m carrying your child, and this is what you do to me?”
He jumped up and stared at me. He had this smirk on his face that pissed me off.
“Does this look evil enough for you?”
Instantly, I thought of the words I had spewed out to him before leaving the house earlier. I could feel my dinner coming up, but I pushed it down. My belly tightened, and I held onto it to keep myself from falling apart more than anything else.
“So, you’re on some petty shit. We’ve really come to this? Really, Orion?” I let the tears flow freely as I walked over, closing the space between them and me. “Maybe I shouldn’t have kept this baby.”
This bitch stood up from the couch and stared at me with a satisfied grin. She felt like she won, and I could see it all over her fucking face.
“Maybe if you kept him happy—”
Before I even thought about it, I lunged, but Orion grabbed my arm and stood between us quickly.
“Say one more word,” I hissed at her, “and I don’t care how pregnant I am, I will drag you all around this fucking house.”
Tears blurred my vision. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as my chest rose and fell. My whole body shook from betrayal.
“You just showed me who you really are, Orion. And believe me, I’ll never forget it. From now on, it ain’t about you. It’s about me and this baby.”
For once, he had nothing to say. I snatched my arm back from him with disgust. For all I knew, he just had his whole arm up this ho ass bitch’s coochie.
“Don’t touch me, Orion. Don’t you ever put your hands on me again after what I just walked in on.”
He threw his hands up, pacing like I was the one tripping.
“Man, this is the kind of shit you asked for. This is the kind of shit that an evil nigga does.” He turned to the bitch sitting beside him. “T’asia, you can go.” Then, he turned back to me. “Cayla, you’re being dramatic.”
“Dramatic?” I laughed, but it came out like a sob. “I’m eight months pregnant. Half the time, I walk around with swollen feet, my back aches every night, and you are in here, laid up with some random ass bitch. You call that dramatic?”
The girl rolled her eyes as she grabbed her coat and purse off the couch.
“Them feet be swollen from all that fat ass weight she’s carrying around—”
“Shut the fuck up!” I snapped, stepping toward her so fast Orion had to block me again. “You don’t know what the hell I’ve been through with him. You don’t know what I’ve sacrificed. Bitches kill me how they be proud to be a nigga’s side piece. Bitch, you’re pathetic.”
I was screaming loud enough for all of Queens to hear me, and I didn’t give a fuck.
Orion’s jaw clenched. “Man, you tripping for real. Why do you always gotta start screaming? That’s why I step out sometimes, Cayla. You don’t know how to chill.”
“So, it’s my fault you can’t keep your dick in your pants?
You serious right now?” I pressed my hand to my stomach because the baby kicked like it felt everything I was feeling.
“You don’t get it, Orion. You're breaking me. And if you can stand there and blame me for your cheating, then maybe you never loved me at all.”
His face hardened. It had that street pride written all over it.
“Don’t love you? What other nigga is gonna do half the shit I have done for you? I keep a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and money in your pocket.”
“You think I asked for your money?” My voice cracked. “I wanted you. I wanted a family. But you're so caught up in your ego, you don’t even realize you’re losing the one person who actually gave a damn about you!”
The room went quiet for a second, but the space surrounding us was thick with rage. I turned to the bitch who was still standing idly by.
“Bitch, didn’t he say leave? Get the fuck out!”
She looked to him like she was waiting for confirmation.
“Get the fuck out!” I repeated, this time a bit louder.
When he didn’t back me up, I knew it was over.
“Cool, you won’t make her leave, then I will. Orion, you’re a bitch!”