Chapter 16 Orion #3
It had been one of those weeks where I had fallen hard into my cycle of bottles, laundry, and Oriana crying through the night, all while I ran on fumes trying to hold it all together.
Orion had been trying, I’d give him that, but it only took one little thing to tip me over.
And tonight, that thing was his phone. I’d been rocking Oriana back to sleep when his screen lit up on the couch.
My eyes caught it before I could stop myself and grab hold of the thing.
Of course, it was Instagram. And what did I see?
Heart after heart under half-naked girls’ pictures.
When he walked in from the kitchen, I was still holding his phone.
“So, this is what you do when I’m over here losing myself?” My voice cracked.
He frowned. “Cayla, you're tripping. It’s just Instagram. It doesn’t mean anything.”
To a nigga who used to physically stick his dick in bitches, I was sure some Instagram likes were nothing to him, but it meant something to me.
“Don’t mean nothing? You got a whole family in this house, yet you're drooling over these fitness ass bitches who don’t even have on fucking clothes!”
His jaw tightened, and he ran his hand along the side of his face before he responded.
“You’re being insecure. That’s not on me.”
“Insecure?” I laughed bitterly while shaking my head. “I had your baby three months ago! My body ain’t even healed all the way, and you out here double-tapping every ass on your feed like I’m invisible.”
He let out a long sigh, as if my speaking was bothering him.
“Man, I can’t even breathe without you finding something wrong. You don’t trust me, and you don’t respect me enough to see that I made every effort to change. So, what are we even doing?”
His words stung deep, and I hated the way they did.
I hated even more that he came and snatched his phone out of my hand before he walked out of the room.
He just left before I could respond, leaving me shaking with rage and shame.
I sat there in the dim light. Oriana was fast asleep against my chest. So, I grabbed my phone off the arm of the chair.
My thumb hovered, knowing exactly whose name I was about to type.
Lamont
The thread was still there from last week. His bold words, the ones I never answered. Before I could second-guess myself, I typed.
You still serious about dinner?
I hit send, and instantly, my heart started pounding.
A part of me prayed he wouldn’t answer. But another part of me, the part aching to feel wanted again, was already waiting for his reply.
The message had barely left my screen before the bubbles popped up.
My chest tightened as I stared, frozen, until his reply landed.
I’ve been waiting for you to say that. Name the place, Cay. Any night, I’m there.
He didn’t hesitate, not even a little. It was like he’d been sitting with his phone in his hand, hoping I’d finally cave. Right when I was debating on just leaving this one like the last messages on seen, another message dropped right after.
As a matter of fact, don’t even worry about it. Friday night. I’ll pick you up. Just tell me where.
My heart was beating unevenly as nerves started to take over my body.
I glanced toward the hallway where Orion’s footsteps had disappeared, where the distance between us had stretched so wide I didn’t know how to pull it back.
And honestly, I didn’t even want to. Then, I looked back at Lamont’s name glowing on my screen.
His words were laced with promise, and that made me feel secure.
Like this time around, maybe he wouldn’t fumble.
My fingers hovered over our messages. They trembled a bit before I started typing.
I’ll let you know.
I didn’t hit send right away. I had carefully and quietly taken Oriana upstairs and laid her on her bed.
Once I made it to the bedroom, I stared at the baby monitor.
Oriana’s tiny breaths filled the room. I pulled my phone from the pocket of my robe, and then my thumb pressed down, and the message flew out.
The second it did, a shiver ran through me.
The feeling was cloaked in fear and excitement.
I set the phone face down on the nightstand, my heart still racing from the message I’d just sent.
Before I could breathe, Orion’s footsteps sounded up the stairs.
He came into the room slowly while rubbing the back of his neck.
His eyes looked tired, like he had been outside mentally battling our discussion.
I knew he hadn’t driven off because he didn’t take his keys with him.
Maybe he went for a walk or sat on the porch.
I didn’t even bother asking him where he had gone because I didn’t care.
“Cay… my bad,” he muttered while sitting on the edge of the bed. “I ain’t mean to make you feel less than. I didn’t mean to downplay your feelings, and I ain’t been showing you enough love.”
I kept my eyes on the baby monitor, afraid he’d see too much if I met his gaze. He reached for my hand. His touch was warm, and the callous in the palm of his hand rubbed against the softness of mine.
“You’re beautiful, you hear me? I don’t care what’s on the Gram, I don’t care what anybody else got going on. You my family, and I love you.”
Well, him owning up to his shit wasn’t on my Bingo card for the evening.
The words landed heavily in my chest, almost breaking me.
Part of me wanted to believe him, but the other part, the louder part, was already locked on Friday night.
I couldn’t deny how badly I wanted to see Lamont again.
I was intrigued by the possibility of feeling wanted in a way Orion’s late apology couldn’t undo. I forced a smile.
“I love you too,” I whispered while squeezing his hand back.
But in my mind, the decision had already been made. Friday night, guess who was showing up to dinner? I was.