Chapter 19 #2
My mind started spiraling. The nights he didn’t answer that phone, the excuses about “being with Omari or being at the club,” the way he’d touch me that felt so far away were all playing in my head.
God, how could I have been so stupid? I stood and paced the room, hugging myself.
My reflection in the dresser mirror caught my eye, and I hated what I saw.
My eyes were swollen, my hair in a messy bun, and my body, well, I don’t even want to start speaking of my biggest insecurity.
I thought Orion was changing. I thought maybe, just maybe, he could finally be the man I needed him to be.
But here I was again at a stage in my life where betrayal and humiliation ran the show.
The anger in me bubbled up under the hurt.
If Shenell hadn’t been telling the truth, why would she even call me?
Why would she risk putting herself in the middle?
That right there gave me all reason to believe her.
She could have pulled this stunt when Orion and I first started dating, when I was pregnant, or right after I had given birth to Oriana.
She had so many chances to come up with this if it were a lie.
That was how I knew it was the straight truth.
My hands shook as I picked my phone back up. A part of me wanted to call him right then, scream through the line, and demand answers. But another part… the colder part… wanted to sit in the silence.
This piece of me was the girl who wanted her lick back.
I wanted to act as if nothing was even wrong.
I wanted to let him walk through that door tonight.
Let him try to smile in my face, kiss our daughter goodnight, and even kiss me, all while acting like he wasn’t breaking me into pieces.
I was done looking like a fool. This time, he was gonna see a different Cayla.
A piece of me wondered if he would even come home tonight.
I didn’t have to guess for long. The door clicked open, and just the sound of his keys hitting the table in the foyer made my stomach twist.
His steps up the stairs sounded heavier than I had ever heard them before. It was like I could hear every piece of wood move under his Timberland boot. He stood in the doorway of our bedroom for a bit before he opened his mouth.
“What did you eat for dinner?” he asked casually, like he hadn’t been playing me.
I stared at him, heat rising in my chest, my heart pounding so hard I thought Oriana would hear it from her bassinet.
“Dinner?” My voice cracked. “That’s what you got to say to me?”
He frowned, dropping onto the bench at the foot of our bed. He sighed as he started taking his boots off.
“What are you talking about, Cayla?”
I finally stopped pacing the floor and stood over him with my hands shaking.
“Shenell called me.”
That got him. His head snapped up, and his eyes narrowed, while his lips pressed together.
“She told me everything, Orion. That you've been at her house. That she’s pregnant. Pregnant by you.” My voice broke, but I pushed through it, my anger louder than my pain. “And you got the nerve to walk up in here and be regularly asking if I fucking ate?”
He jumped up fast, closing the space between us, his face twisted in rage.
“Man, she’s lying! You really gon’ sit here and believe that shit? After everything I do for you? For Oriana?”
“Believe it?” I shoved at his chest, tears streaking my face. “Why would she lie? Why would she call me if it wasn’t true? You out here making babies like it’s nothing, while I’m at home taking care of the one we already got!”
His voice rose, booming through the house. “You are always looking for something to argue about. I don’t gotta explain myself to you!”
Oriana had started crying in her bassinet, but neither of us wanted to stop trying to get our point across.
My voice hitched into a scream. “I carried your daughter while you were out cheating! I damn near died bringing her into this world, and you can’t even keep your dick to yourself! It’s because you ain’t shit, and Olivia should have swallowed your ass instead of giving birth to you.”
He grabbed my arm roughly and shook me like he could snap me back into silence.
“Shut the fuck up talking to me like that!”
The grip hurt and made my skin burn, but I yanked free. My chest heaved, and my hands balled into fists. This wasn’t like any other time. I was ready to fight his ass back.
“Put your hands on me again, Orion, I swear to God.”
We were nose to nose now, shouting over each other, the air thick with hate and hurt.
Oriana’s cry only got louder, but neither of us backed down.
I could see it in his eyes that ugly side of him was peeking, and I swore I’d never let it take me under again.
I wasn’t that weak girl anymore. Not tonight.
This time, I was ready to fight back. His chest pressed into mine. His breath was hot and sharp with liquor, and his eyes were wild.
“I said shut the fuck up!” Orion roared.
Before I could move, his hand came across my face. The slap rang out so loud it drowned Oriana’s cries for a second. My head whipped to the side, the sting burning across my cheek as tears blurred my vision. I stumbled back against the long dresser, clutching the edge to steady myself.
“Really?” My voice cracked, low and filled with pain.
He was pacing now, running both hands over his head while muttering curses.
“You make me do this shit, Cayla! Always in my face, always trynna make me the bad guy!”
The anger snapped through me like lightning. My fear twisted into fury. I snatched the first thing I could grab, a glass vase filled with flowers from the dresser, and hurled it at him. It shattered against his shoulder. Water and dying roses sprayed everywhere.
“Don’t you EVER put your hands on me again!” I screamed.
He came at me fast, grabbing me by both arms, shaking me so hard my teeth rattled.
“Haven’t you realized by now that I do what the fuck I want to do? You don’t tell me shit!”
I struggled, clawing at his arms while yelling for him to let me go, anything to get free. Oriana’s wails filled the whole house, but Orion didn’t stop.
“Orion, let me go! You're hurting me!” I gasped, panic mixing with rage.
For a second, his grip loosened, just enough for me to shove him back.
He stumbled into the nightstand, knocking over a lamp.
The crash echoed through the room, both of us breathing hard, glaring at each other like enemies.
My cheek throbbed, my arms ached, and my heart pounded so loud I could barely think.
But one thought rose above it all: this man didn’t love me.
He wanted to own me and break me. And I couldn’t let him.
I thought he would want a round two from the way I pushed him, but once he caught his balance, he just stared me down and shook his head up and down.
He walked out of the room, and once he was gone, I ran to Oriana to soothe her.
“Okay, baby,” I said in a low tone as I rubbed her back while rocking her from side to side.
She had shitted up her back, and I knew it was from all the crying she had been doing.
I grabbed her things and walked into the bathroom to clean her up real quick.
Once I had her cleaned up and fed, I sat with her in my arms as I propped myself against the headboard.
I knew she would go back to sleep because she was sleeping through the night now.
She would have still been sound asleep if Orion hadn’t come into the house, starting his bullshit.
After I put her to sleep, I carefully took her back to her bassinet.
I needed to shower myself. Behind the closed door of the bathroom, I let myself have a good cry in front of the mirror.
My cheek was red from the slap. I had spent more time in the shower than I probably wanted to, but the steam, the water, and the silence were what I needed.
When I had made it back to the room, I got comfortable in bed, and before I knew it, I had dozed off.
I blinked my eyes for a while to adjust to waking up in the middle of the night.
That was how I knew I wasn’t happy in my situation.
I was never the type to have a broken sleep pattern.
I looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand and saw that it was five thirty in the morning.
The room was dark except for the glow of the streetlight bleeding through the blinds.
Orion was beside me, sprawled across the bed, breathing deep, sleeping like a man without a care in the world.
Like he hadn’t laid hands on me hours ago.
I didn’t even know when he had come to bed, but I knew he had some damn nerve to lie beside me like everything was okay.
I lay on my back, eyes wide open, cheek still tender where he slapped me.
Every time I blinked, I saw his face twisted with rage and his hands gripping my arms. Oriana screaming in the background played in my head.
I reached for my phone on the nightstand, needing a distraction.
I needed anything to get my mind away from the space it was stuck in. That’s when the text came through.
Stacy: Hey, Cayla, I wanted to let you know that my daughter has officially moved out. She transferred to a university in Florida . I tried to clean up behind her as best as I could, but her cat did a number on that carpet. When do you want to meet, so I can give you back the keys?