Chapter 25 #2
During our long conversation last night on the phone, Kassidy told me that he lived in the basement apartment in his grandmother’s house.
I wish I still had someone like that in my life.
That backup security blanket came in clutch if things in your life ever went to shit.
Living in a house that was paid off, I was sure, gave him so much wiggle room to save.
So much wiggle room to live. Just thinking about it had me silently praying for better days for myself.
I yearned for more financially stable ones.
The ride to Kass’s house wasn’t long. His grandmother had owned that house for as long as I could remember.
We made a few turns through the old neighborhood, and everything looked smaller than I remembered.
The houses, the corner stores, and even the park we used to walk through after school.
But when he turned onto his street, it was like time folded back on itself.
Ms. Flora’s house looked exactly the same.
The porch swing was still leaning a little to the left, she still had flowerpots lined across the steps, and those wind chimes still hung, catching the breeze.
Kassidy had come around to open the door for me, and I went to take Oriana out the back while he grabbed her bag.
His grandmother was standing at the door before we even made it up the walkway.
Her silver hair was wrapped neatly in a scarf, and her glasses were perched low on her nose.
“Lawd have mercy,” she said, her face breaking into a smile as her eyes landed on me. “If it isn’t little Cayla Carmichael!”
I laughed instantly, smiling back.
“Hi, Ms. Flora. It’s been a long time.”
She waved her hand. “Too long, baby. Last time I saw you, you were rushing down the street with ya jean backpack hanging off your shoulder and your head in a book.”
“Oh my God,” I said, laughing harder. “I can’t believe you remember that bag!”
“How could I forget? You wore that thing until the strap started tearing, and then ya mom came and asked me to sew it up. She would stitch a damn dog leg up like nothing, but was scared to ruin your favorite bag.”
We all laughed, and even Oriana giggled at the sound of her voice.
She had this animation to the way she spoke that kept you engaged with what she was saying.
Kassidy stood beside us, grinning. I could tell he was standing there on the sidelines, soaking up the interaction between me and his grandmother.
“Nana, this is Oriana.” He nodded toward my pride and joy in my arms. “Y’all good for a few hours while we're just going to dinner?”
“Of course,” Ms. Flora said. “I already told you I’d love some company.”
She reached out for Oriana, but I noticed the faint stiffness in her step. It was the way her balance shifted unevenly as she took my baby into her arms. Her smile never faltered, but the limp was there. It was subtle, but I peeped it.
“You okay, Ms. Flora?” I asked gently.
I didn’t want Oriana to possibly be too much for her. She would be chill one minute and then rip and run the next. It was a hassle for me, so I already knew it could be overwhelming for someone more than twice my age.
“Mm-hmm,” she said, brushing it off with a wave. “Just these old bones acting up. Now, go on before I change my mind and keep both of y’all here to eat my leftovers.”
We all laughed again, and I felt an easy sense of comfort that I hadn’t known in a long time.
The kind that made my heart ache a little because it reminded me what peace felt like.
As I sat back in the passenger seat, Ms. Flora was using Oriana’s hand and waving goodbye to us.
My baby didn’t cry, and she didn’t fuss.
Maybe she was just as comfortable as I was starting to become.
Dinner was quiet at first, the good kind of calm.
I had shared so many uncomfortable silences with Orion that this stillness was welcoming.
We sat at a small restaurant tucked off the main strip of Downtown Brooklyn.
The lights were dimmed low, and candles flickered on every table.
I caught Kassidy staring at me more than once over his menu, and each time, I pretended not to notice.
Catching him steal little glimpses had me lowkey blushing.
“You look good, Cay,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “Real good.”
I felt my cheeks warm.
“Thank you,” I said softly before looking around at the restaurant. “This is nice.”
I didn’t remember this spot being here the last time I visited Downtown Brooklyn, so I figured the place was new.
Italian was one of my favorite kinds of food.
Being as attentive as he was, I was sure he remembered me mentioning that in high school.
Back then, he would stop at the local pizzeria to get me their lasagna because it was so good.
“It is,” he agreed. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”
I smiled while tracing the rim of my glass.
I’d already had two glasses of wine, so I had to indulge in more breadsticks than I would have wanted to keep the buzz away.
If I had too many more drinks, I was sure my ass would have gone to the bathroom, taken off my lace panties, and then slyly handed them to him under the table.
Being in the presence of a man who made me feel wanted was such a refreshing feeling.
His comment alone made me think of how he would look at me in high school.
I was too busy being stuck on Lamont to appreciate Kassidy’s glances.
I remember one time Lamont and I had gotten into it in the halls, and Kassidy came right when I was about to lose my shit.
Now that I think of it, Lamont always had a wandering eye; my weight gain only made it worse.
It was nice of Kassidy to be there then in my time of need, and it was nice for him to be here now.
I smiled slightly at the distant memory.
“You always had good timing.”
He chuckled low. The sound rumbled deep in his chest.
“Nah, I was just waiting on you to see that I was around. I was waiting on you to see me,” he looked away like the honest moment tugged at something in him.
That earned him a playful side-eye, but deep down, I knew he wasn’t wrong.
Back then, I always had this feeling that he was interested in me, but I didn’t look at him like that.
I definitely saw him now, though. A little piece of me wished I had seen him then.
My future probably would have turned out way differently if I had.
The waitress dropped our plates on the table and then gave us both a smile before scurrying off. Silently, we ate for a bit, I guess, stuck in our thoughts. I was sure we both were sifting through the what-ifs of our life stories. After a few, I had to break the silence.
“Your grandma… she’s okay, right? I noticed she was limping a little.”
He nodded before setting his fork down. “Yeah. She has diabetes. She’s been managing it for years, but lately she’s lost a little feeling in her feet. The doctor says it’s neuropathy. She doesn’t complain, though. That’s always been her. She acts like she’s fine even when she’s hurting.”
My heart softened even more.
“She’s still sweet. You can tell she raised you right.”
He smiled, looking at me with something quiet in his eyes. The kind of look that carried both gratitude and regret.
“She tried to. I didn’t always listen.”
The weight of that truth hung between us for a minute, but he didn’t linger in it. Instead, he reached across the table and rubbed the back of my hand, which rested gently on the surface.
“I still can’t believe you're sitting across from me right now,” he said.
I smiled. “Me neither.”
Kassidy gave me a feeling of security that scared the shit out of me.
But as I looked in his brown eyes, I knew I could trust him and that I was safe here.
I had to be, because honestly, I couldn’t take any more heartbreak.
I was at a point in my life where I was scared to try love again, but I knew one thing for sure…
the next nigga to do me wrong was going to pay for the two men before them as well.