Chapter Twelve #3
“Very much, I’m afraid,” she was saying with a wry nod. “But don’t let that stop you. You clearly wish to leave, so—”
“‘Wish to leave’? Lucy, I never want to leave your side again!” Bernard could hardly believe it, his chest tight and his mind whirling, and she loved him. “I thought—I thought that’s what you were saying, that I had overstayed my welcome and needed to go!”
“‘Go’? Bernard, you could live here for the rest of your life as far as I’m concerned,” Lucy said, passion in her voice now, the same passion that flowed through her whenever she spoke of her activities for the Prison Reform Society. “I… I very much want you to stay. Please stay.”
Please stay.
It was precisely what he wanted to hear and Bernard could not believe it. She loved him.
She loved him.
There was no point holding back now. Bernard stepped around the table and sat next to her, then leaned forward, aching to be closer to her, and Lucy responded in kind so quickly that the kiss happened faster than he had expected.
Oh, warm lips and sweetness, heat and need, her hand holding his and their breaths mingling, the rest of the world forgotten as she tilted her head and welcomed him in…
Bernard tried to hold back, tried to keep the kiss sweet, but the building ache within him had been held back for too long. His tongue trailed along the slit of her lips and they parted, inviting him in.
And he needed no greater provocation.
The kiss changed, his hands now cupping her cheeks as he delved into the sweetness of her mouth and sparked pleasure through his body, desperately hoping she felt the same, and perhaps she did as Lucy whimpered in his mouth.
“Lucy,” Bernard whispered, breaking the kiss but keeping her close.
Her voice was ragged, but she looked into his eyes and there was no fear there. No holding back. “Y-Yes?”
“I am also very much in love with you,” he managed to say.
There. It was done. He was in love with her, and he had told her so.
And now he would have to live with the consequences.
With pretty, blinking eyes and dimpled cheeks, Lucy’s obvious delight spread across her face before she leaned forward to claim his mouth again.
He was hardly going to deny her, the waves of prickling bliss across his body demanding more, more, more, and it was not the spread on the table that Bernard now wanted to enjoy, but the spread of Lucy’s legs—
He pulled back.
No. Not like this.
“You know,” Lucy said with a laugh, “I can hardly believe it.”
“Neither can I,” Bernard admitted, his hands almost shaking at the realization.
He loved her. She loved him. Did that mean—could that possibly mean…
Well, he had already told Hovell that he wanted to leave the spying business, hadn’t he? And there was a title waiting for him, even if he had not wished to own it in many years.
Why not return in a few months’ time, when all that was sorted out, and…and claim his bride?
“Falling in love with a criminal is certainly not something I could ever have imagined,” Lucy said a little breathlessly, her cheeks pinking. “It… It’s unbelievable!”
Bernard hesitated.
It was unbelievable, but not for the reasons Lucy thought. After all, she had not fallen in love with a criminal, had she?
And now…now was the time to tell her.
“Lucy,” he said quietly.
Her mouth parted in horror. “Oh, I meant no offense by it!”
“I know you didn’t,” Bernard tried to reassure her with a wry smile. “Lucy—”
“Because there is no shame in your past, Bernard, and I can see that you have utterly reformed. I know Society would never think so because of the circumstances of your birth, but you are more a gentleman now than many of the men in my acquaintance!”
“Now that I can well believe,” he said wryly. “Lucy—”
“And I don’t care if we can never marry.
I have a dowry. It’s not large, but perhaps my father will take pity on me and allow me to control it as a spinster.
Then I can do as I please…” She gasped. “I could marry whom I please! Though I wonder if my father will realize that’s my plan and not loosen his purse strings. ”
“Lucy, I am not a criminal.”
Lucy halted, lips parted mid-sentence, and stared in utter confusion.
There. I’ve done it. Bernard knew there would be hell to pay if Hovell ever found out, but how would he? Lucy was hardly likely to tell him, and Bernard had to reveal the truth to her now. It was such a part of him that he did not know if he could go on breathing if he did not tell her.
A slight furrow puckered at the edges of Lucy’s brow. “Not… Not a criminal.”
Bernard shook his head slowly with a smile. “No.”
“But… Come now, Bernard, there is nothing to be ashamed of, just because you would never commit a crime again now.”
He had not realized how difficult it would be to convince her. “Lucy, I’ve never committed a crime in my life.”
“But—Bernard, I met you when you were in the dock!” Lucy laughed, her brow still furrowed. “I know you do not see yourself as a criminal—”
“Lucy,” said Bernard quietly, knowing that once he said this, there was no taking it back. “Lucy, I… I’m a spy.”