Chapter 27
Erin
“You were supposed to take the day off,” Demetri said, looking sternly at me from his seat across from my desk. He had been spending too much time in my office since I walked in the door. It was worry, but it felt like micromanagement. I just wanted to stare at my computer, pretend to work, and continue to replay my sister’s words in my mind.
We’re getting back together.
I shook my head. “I didn’t want to just sit at home.”
Demetri didn’t like that. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “You need to rest. You passed out!” He was worried, but I didn’t need a babysitter. He didn’t need to tell me what to do.
“I told you I’m fine.” I wasn’t able to control the frustration in my tone as well as he was, and my voice raised. I wanted to scream at him to go away—to give me space. Not that I knew if space would be any good.
“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice was gentler. He had switched from the hard-ass boss to the friend determined to protect me. I couldn’t miss the concern on his face, and I wish he wouldn’t look at me like I was broken.
I’m fine.Everything is fine.
I dropped my head against my hands. Nothing was fine. “She’s pregnant. She says Jacob is the father.” The words burned my throat like nausea.
“Do you believe her?”
Did I? I shrugged. I wasn’t sure if I believed her at all. When I got dizzy, I closed my eyes, pressing my fingers against my temple. I took one deep breath followed by another, but neither of them made my hands feel like they weren’t shaking. I pressed them into the desk, paying attention to the way each fingertip pressed against the wood. It was supposed to calm me down.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe.” I sighed. I didn’t want to believe my sister, but how was I supposed to deny a sonogram picture? I kept seeing the word “baby” and an arrow pointing to the fuzzy white dot every time I closed my eyes.
Demetri shrugged, lifting one of his hands. “Maybe you should talk to him.”
“I don’t want to.” I scoffed. I should talk to Jacob, but what was I going to say? Congratulate him on getting back together with my sister? Thank him for the revenge fuck and making me feel like he cared about me? I blinked back the tears that welled against my bottom eyelids.
He cocked his head, making a side glance at the window leading to the hallway. “Looks like you’re not going to have much of a choice,” he said.
Demetri stood up as the door opened and Jacob walked in. When they passed in the middle of the office, they nodded at each other, and Jacob extended a hand. Demetri shook it, glancing over his shoulder before he left. “I’ll check in with you later.” Then he offered a quick warning look to Jacob before he let my office door close behind him.
The silence in the room grew thick when the door latched, and I took a deep, shaking breath. “Hey, red,” he said, and the sound of his voice cut between my ribs.
“You shouldn’t be here.” I kept myself planted in my chair, clasping my hands together when Jacob moved closer.
“Why?” he asked, taking another step. “Because of the baby?”
Was he admitting it? I threw my hands in the air, choking back a sob but unable to stop the hysterical tone in my voice. “Yes, because of the baby! Are you kidding me? She said you’re the father. That you’re getting back together.” The tears I fought rolled down my cheeks, and I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to stop them.
Jacob’s face sank, and his shoulders sagged. “And you believed that?”
I shrugged, resisting the urge to cover my face. “I don’t want to believe it, but—”
“It’s not my baby, Erin!” He closed the distance between us so quickly that a gust of his scent washed over me. When he reached out towards me, I winced, and the pain that crossed his face made my chest tighten.
I looked down. “How can you be so sure? She said she’s over six weeks. That could mean—”
“It’s not my baby.” He emphasized every word, framing my face between his hands. “You have to believe me. I would never…”
I turned my head to break free of his grasp and folded my arms over my chest, as if it would protect the heart that broke when I held the photo. “How do you know?” I mirrored his emphasis.
Jacob clenched his teeth, and his jaw flexed along with the muscles in his neck. He took a deep breath and sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Because I can’t have kids.” He locked eyes with me when I inhaled sharply. When he grabbed my hands, I didn’t pull them back. “I don’t want her. I want you. I would never take her or anyone else back.”
I scooted my seat backwards, pulling my hands from his and standing up. I rounded the desk, leaving him on the other side of it. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You have to believe me.” His voice cracked when he spoke, and I swallowed the sob that threatened to rip from my chest.
I shook my head, putting my hands up in front of me. “I don’t know, Jacob.” His posture hunched forward in defeat. “I just need some time. I think you should leave.”
“Please talk to me,” he whispered, glued to his spot.
The tears streamed down my face faster, dropping onto my shirt and leaving a noticeable pattern that would dry later. The guilt that I felt would linger though. “I can’t.”
Jacob sighed with defeat, nodding. He took a step backwards, lifting his hands in surrender. “Okay, fine, I’ll go. But I’m not giving up on you—on us.” He opened the door, holding it open while he stared at me. “That’s not my baby, and she’s not the love of my life.”
When the door latched behind him, I dropped to my knees, settling on the floor. Every muscle in my body hurt, and it felt like there was someone sitting on my chest. He was gone.
She’s not the love of my life.