Chapter 39
Drew
“H
e did what?!” Lacey’s shrill voice, filled with contentment as I rely to her my past few encounters with Reed. I’ve been holding on to the promise I made to her, but mostly myself, to text and call her throughout the week to avoid going weeks with just a few “Let’s get together” texts from her being left on read. It’s been three days since the whole Reed fiasco at Lenny’s, and Emmett had to go into the bar earlier than expected today, so I’m home on my couch giving Lacey all the details of the past week.
“That’s not even the worst part, Lace. Let me start from the beginning.”
“Okay, I’ll try to keep my commentary to myself until the end.” She’s such a smartass, but I love her.
I start by telling her what I should’ve told her weeks ago, but I know now that there’s not point to dwell on the past. I can only change the trajectory of now, or at least that’s what my therapist always says. “Remember when we went to lunch, and I told you how Reed stopped over, and it felt weird.”
“Yes.” That is all she says because she has learned Reed can be a sore subject for us, but I’m not going to ever let that happen again.
“Well, you were right. I shouldn’t have felt bad about not being happy he came over, and I shouldn’t have sent that apology text to him.”
“YOU WHAT?”
Oops. I forgot to tell her that part.
“Ugh. Forget about that. Anyway, he never texted me back, so we didn’t talk for a few days. Not until—”
“No, Drew. Don’t tell me you texted him again.”
“Well, it was a momentary lapse of judgement, and Emmett and I had a misunderstanding, and—”
“WAIT. There’s a you and Emmett now?!” She doesn’t even pretend to hide the excitement in her voice. “I could tell by the way you talked about him when I saw you last that there was something there.”
“Lace, if you keep interrupting, I won’t be able to get to that part.”
“You’re right. Sorry. I just didn’t think there would be so much for you to update me on. It’s only been like two weeks since I’ve seen you!”
Yet I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime in these two weeks, I think to myself before continuing with the Reed part of this update.
“Anyway, like I was saying, I was having a momentary lapse in judgement, and I needed help with something.” I just know her mouth opens ready to say something, but I beat her to it. “And before you can say I should’ve called you, I know that now and hindsight is 20/20, so please don’t say I told you so.”
She says nothing, but I just know she is biting her lip, holding back what I already know.
“So, I texted Reed. He came over, and he thought I was having him come over for sex.”
“What a fucking prick.”
“I know! So, I said no, but he wouldn’t stop trying to kiss me and touch me and stuff, and I just wasn’t into it. I just wanted him to be there for me like he was in high school.” I pause, knowing that I’m about to admit something my gut has always known, but I never wanted to admit to myself. “But, he was never good for me, and I know that now.”
“I’m sorry, Drew. That couldn’t have been an easy conclusion to come to.” I feel tears sting my eyes, threatening to fall, but I blink them back.
“Thank you for not telling me ‘I told you so’,” I say.
“Never. I knew you just needed time to figure it out. I’m just so pissed that it had to happen like this. He really forced himself on you like that?”
“I never thought he’d be someone to do that, and I just kept screaming from him to get off me, and he was getting pissed. I didn’t know what to do.”
“So then what? You didn’t let him, did you?”
“No, Lace! Of course not. But I don’t know what would have happen if Emmett didn’t hear us. Reed and I were screaming at each other. He could probably tell something was wrong.”
“Did he come up?”
“Yep. He banged on the door until Reed opened it.”
“Wait, you both were screaming? Not that I don’t know you can handle yourself, but I don’t think I can think of a time you, you know, fought back.”
Lacey was right.
Reed and I never fought, and things never escalated. But it was because I always gave in. I never pushed when I really should have.
I let out a sigh. “I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was like a total Flight or Fight response, and I guess my gut told me to fight.”
Lacey doesn’t say anything at first. Maybe processing the same thing I am. How that kind of trauma-response has never come out of me, not since that day in my classroom when I told my students we had to barricade the door.
“Good for you,” she finally says, and I feel how proud she is of me over the phone, my heart growing a little in size because of how filled it has felt lately.
“So, long story short, Reed got what he deserved. Emmett helped me get him to leave.””
“I’m really liking this Emmett guy. You guys a thing?”
“Well, we were just neighbors up until that night.” I can’t hide the smile in my voice, and even though we’re on the phone, I’m positive Lacey knows the look that’s on my face right now. “But we’ve been spending time getting to know each other, no longer as neighbors.”
“Oh, Drew. You think you can hide that you’re getting laid. Don’t even try, honey. Spill it.”
“Hold on! I’m not done with the Reed part of the story.”
“There’s more?!”
I take the next few minutes to dive into what happened at the bar, and how I don’t think Reed will be bothering me anymore. I add that I also don’t plan on searching my memory for his number ever again.
After answering all of Lacey’s questions and giving her a play-by-play of the punch, I know it is time to tell her about Emmett.
I decide to start at the beginning.
“So you’ve known each other for seven months now, have been thinking about each other all this time, and you’re just now acting on it?”
“Well, when you put it that way, yeah. But, there’s so much more.” I give her the details of all the times he seemed to be there when no one else was, and the more I tell her, the more she seems to understand that while it was tragic what brought us together, something beautiful came out of it.
“Glad to know Emmett is there to protect you. Not that you need it, but I’m happy to know you’re not all by yourself anymore.” Her words are heavy with love, and I’m further reminded that while I was alone by choice, it doesn’t mean I have to continue making that choice. “Let’s double-date soon! I’m dying to meet him now that I know for sure he treats you how you deserve to be treated.”
“For sure. I’ll call you this week, and we can find a time. I love you, Lacey.”
“I love you more. And, yes. Please do. Plus, I want to hear about how going back to school goes. Call me if you need anything, okay?
“Okay. I promise. This is the last week off before we’re supposed to go back, so I think I’ll an email in a few days about the plan for going back. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Perfect. Alright, honey, talk soon!”
When I hang up the phone, my heart feels like it’s overflowing with love, gratitude, and hope. Not only because I had an hour, uninterrupted conversation with my best friend about things we haven’t been able to talk about in years but because so many of those things have been weighing on me, and I feel like they have disappeared.
For some reason, telling Lacey about my realizations about Reed and my relationship with Emmett, it makes them both feel real and within my realm of control. Even talking about going back to school is something I never thought I’d be able to do so casually. It still brings some feelings of anxiety and uneasiness, but I’m still in control.
Something I never thought would happen again.