Gladiator Moon (Vampire for Hire #39)
Chapter One
Gladiator Moon
“The crowd does not come to see who will survive. They come to see what survival will cost.” — Unknown
“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”
— Voltaire on war
“There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit.
In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit.”
— Napoleon Bonaparte
Chapter One
He is a most peculiar man, this one.
He wears a floppy green hat, white gloves, and riding trousers.
Strangely, I don’t quite remember him even coming into my office, though I have a vague memory of him standing outside my glass office door, hands propped up on a cane.
The next moment he is seated in front of me, smiling.
More than once I catch myself yawning, though, weirdly, it is against my nature to ever get tired.
I have to continuously keep reminding myself who he is.
Sometimes, I even look down at my notepad, hoping to find some indicator of who he is and why he is here.
Unfortunately, there are only the letters “B-A” written on my pad, followed by my pen trailing off sleepily. Looks like I have made this attempt a few times, as there are no less than six such “B-A” attempts.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, yawning and covering my mouth. I haven’t yawned this much in over a decade. Even the polite gesture of covering one’s mouth has been lost on me during the intervening years. I raise my pen over my notepad. “What’s your name again?”
“Baltazar,” the man intones patiently.
“Can you spell it for me?”
I press the point into the paper, determined to write it to completion this time.
“B-A-L-“
Another yawn hits me, and I set the pen aside. “I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired for some reason.”
“Perhaps you’ve had a long day.”
“Perhaps. I really don’t remember.”
Indeed, my memory of the day is nearly nonexistent.
If anything, I have a better memory of what happened yesterday, which was my daughter’s wedding, a grand affair that lasted into the wee hours of the night.
To think my daughter and her new husband are on their way to their honeymoon shakes me, as if the notion has only now occurred to me.
Surely, I have had this thought before, but it seemingly hits me all over again: my daughter, on her way to her honeymoon.
To where?
Oh, crap. I can’t remember. Where are they going?
Are they flying, driving, or sailing? A moment of panic grips me.
Wait. A city emerges from the fog. They were heading to Seattle, and to save money on flights, I teleported them into an empty conference room at their hotel.
How do I not remember that? In fact, I am certain it happened just a few hours ago.
Oh boy, this day is just one long blur. Maybe throwing together a last-minute wedding did something that fighting monsters, artificial intelligence cyborgs, my own dark twin, and dark fairies never could: maybe it exhausted me.
Maybe, but I am not buying it, in particular because of the way my brain currently feels like mush. And who is this strange man sitting in front of me, smiling and waiting patiently? I look again at his smile. Normal, not too big, casual even. Okay, not a demon.
Have my memory issues begun with his arrival? And just how long has he been here? And why have I written B-A-L on my notepad?
“Excuse me, who are you again?” I ask.
“I’m an emissary from his royal highness, Domarack the Third of Grandar.”
“That makes no sense. What’s your name?”
“I am known as Baltazar the Magician.”
“Can you spell it for me, please?”
“Sure. Perhaps I should start after the B-A-L already on your papers.”
I look down. He is right. There is a B-A-L on my paper. How did he know that?
“Okay…” I can’t hide the suspicion from my voice. Luckily, my inner alarm isn’t going off. Also, what the hell is an inner alarm? Ugh, my brain.
“Please continue with a T-A-Z-A-and an R.”
“Baltazar,” I say, reading the name on my paper.
“Yes.”
“That’s your name?”
“Yes.”
“How can I help you…”
“Baltazar.” He points at a name written on my legal pad. That is, if Baltazar is, in fact, a name.
“I’m here to formally invite you to the Games.”
“What are the Games?”
“Think of them as gladiator games, where warriors will fight to the death for the king’s pleasure and those in the arena.”
“The arena?”
“A magical place where warriors across time and space meet to wage battle.”
“It’s a hard pass.”
“If you do not acquiesce, then I must use a more forceful tactic.”
“A more forceful tactic for... what?”
“To force you to comply.”
“Excuse me? Force me to comply to what?”
“The Gladiator Games. A generic term, I’m sorry, but it is the best way to describe the games that so entertain his Royal Highness.”
Something chimes in my head. What is that?
“Get the hell out of here,” I growl.
“It’s unfortunate you feel that way.”
“Feel that way about what?”
“The Gladiator Games.”
“What’s that?”
“A battle of the fiercest warriors in the multiverse.”
“Why battle?”
“Because it entertains His Royal Highness.”
“What does, exactly?”
“The Gladiator Games.”
“What about them?”
“We seek to recruit you.”
“For what?”
“Oh, dear Star Lord. My memory eraser is working a little too well.”
“Your what now?”
“Never mind. Samantha Moon, why don’t you summon the single flame?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because it’s the only way.”
“The only way to do what?”
“To ensure your participation.”
“In what?”
“The Gladiator Games, Samantha, you will inevitably say ‘hard pass,’ so let me cut to the chase. It’s an interdimensional arena on a planet that does not exist in your reality.
To get there, you will need to teleport.
But I cannot compel an immortal to do anything.
It takes all my power to just infiltrate your mind enough to cause the confusion of forgetfulness, but within that confusion, I can act. ”
“Act to do what?”
“To hijack your teleport, if you will.”
“Where do you wish to teleport?”
“To his Highness’s arena.”
“Why?”
“You will find out why soon enough.”
“Soon enough for-“
“Silence!”
“Excuse me, asshole. Who the hell are you to come in here…”
“Samantha, I need you to summon the single flame.”
“How do you know about the single fla-“
“I just do!”
“Look, mister, if you don’t tell me what the hell you want or what you’re doing here, I’m gonna…”
“You’re gonna do what?”
“Drop you down on a cruise ship to Antarctica.”
“Yes! Please do that.”
“Do what?”
“Take me to a cruise ship to Antarctica.”
“Why?”
“You were going to show me something.”
“I was?”
“Yes.”
“Show you what?”
“A polar bear shifter.”
“No way! Cool beans. Pretty sure I’ve never seen one of those before... which means you are lying.”
“Yes, I am lying. Punish me. Banish me high atop your tallest mountains or into your deepest seas.”
“That’s a little extreme, buddy.”
“Maybe I deserve an extreme punishment.”
“For what?”
“For lying to you.”
“Why would you lie to me?”
“Because I want you to summon the transportal flame and, unfortunately, due to the laws governing your reality, I cannot force you to do so. But I can encourage forgetfulness. I seem to be doing very well in that department.”
“You’re whack.”
“Yes, I am. It appears my study of your culture and language in search of the greatest of your warriors, including your colloquialisms, is benefiting me now. Whack, as in crazy, correct?”
“Correct. Who are you again?”
“Enough! We’re done. Samantha Moon, I have come to harm you and your family. You absolutely must banish me to the far side of the moon. You must do so now!”
“But...”
“Summon the single flame, dammit!”
“How do you know about...”
“Because all great warriors can teleport interdimensionally.”
“I am not a great warrior.”
“Oh, but you are. I will soon kidnap the one you call Paxton. I must be dealt with right now. Here, let me lessen the forgetfulness, but not so much that you stay in control.”
“Why?”
“Because I need to take over. Now, will you banish me or will I have to kill Paxton?”
“Kill Paxton? Excuse me. Who are you? How did you get in-“
“Because I am an evil wizard, Samantha, and I intend on doing you and your family harm. I should be dealt with immediately!”
“Did you say evil wizard?”
“I did, yes. And I cast a forgetful spell on you.”
“You certainly did something to me. I feel like crap.”
“Sorry, it was necessary. Anything to procure your services for the Games.”
“What Ga-?”
“I’ll explain when we get there. And by ‘there,’ I mean the interdimensional arena where you will fight for my liege.”
“Your liege. What is he a king or some-“
“I see the dawning on your face! You remember him, I see!”
“I do. The ugly dude. Big head. Muscles on muscles.”
“That’s him, except we see him as the epitome of attractiveness.”
The vision of him came near the end of my daughter’s wedding. I wasn’t sure what it was or who he was.
“I don’t want to fight anyone.”
“It is not about what you want, my dear. It’s about what he wants. And he wants you. In the Games. Which begin soon. Very soon. In fact, you are the last piece of the puzzle. You will fight for my king, or your children will disappear.”
“Ha! I’d like to see you try it, buddy.”
“Banish me then. How easy would it be to just get rid of me?”
“Only to have your weasely ass come back again. No, thanks. I might have to do more than banish...”
“Don’t reach for your water bottle, Sam! Do not fight me, please. I am a master wizard.”
“What did you say about needing me to summon the single flame? Something about you needing me to summon it.”
“Oh, never mind that...”
“Well, I think this super-weird conversation needs to come to an end. I’m not sure who you are or what you want, exactly, but you threatened my kids, so that means... to the gas planet for you!”
“Which one?”
“Let’s go to Neptune. I was just looking at some pictures of it the other day. So pretty. And fresh on my mind.”
“Perfect, and oh, what a terrible punishment for a bastard like me.”
“Right... I might need to be done with you.”
“Hurry, or I will pick off your weakest first. Paxton.”
And with that, and against my better, though very clouded judgment, I summon the single flame, and see within it not the bluish, swirling gasses of Neptune, but something far stranger.
Far, far stranger.