Chapter 37
thirty-seven
. . .
Witt
Encrypted Voicemail Glitch
Has anyone ever told you it wasn't your fault...
but you still couldn't believe them?
You know they're trying to help, but all you can see is the pain everyone else is carrying.
"Maci."
She won't look at me. The tote slips from her fingers, landing against the side of the bed with a dull thud.
She wraps her arms around her waist like she's trying to hold together pieces I never intended to break.
I cross the room in three strides.
She takes one step backward.
That hurts more than I expect.
"Don't." Her voice is barely above a whisper. "Witt... don't."
I stop immediately, not because I want to, but because she's asked me to.
"I need to understand."
She laughs through tears. "I understood."
My head shakes once. “Whatever you think you understand isn’t true.”
Silence stretches between us.
Finally, she whispers, "Then tell me why Dara found me an apartment."
I close my eyes. "Dara."
One word.
One mistake.
One instruction I never realized I hadn't given.
"I told her months ago to help you find an apartment." I run my fingers through my hair and drop them just as quickly. “I… just never told her to stop the search.”
Her face crumples. "So it was true."
"No." I take another careful step. "I never thought about it again after the gala. We kissed and… I didn’t know how to handle it. I just never told her to stop looking."
"I understand. This is your home.”
I don’t let her say another word. "It’s our home, Maci."
Maci’s shoulders relax a fraction. "I assumed... you changed your mind."
Fresh tears spill down her cheeks.
"You assumed."
"Yes."
She lets out a shaky laugh. "You tell everyone exactly what needs to be done… you juggle four companies under Synatrix. Yes, I assumed you had me on a list. Witt, you schedule meetings down to the minute. But somehow… you forgot to tell your assistant to call off the search?"
I nod.
"Yes, that was my mistake and I’m sorry. I’ve been so happy. I just hadn’t thought of you leaving.”
She studies my face, looking for the lie, but there isn’t one.
"I thought..." She swallows. "I thought you were too nice to tell me."
I don't ask permission, instead I open my arms. "If you can’t trust me anymore, it’ll tear me in two… but if you’ll still have me, you’re the only one I want.”
For one terrible second, nothing.
Then she breaks and crashes into me so hard I almost lose my balance.
My arms close around her automatically as she sobs into my shirt.
"I'm sorry,” she chokes out between tears.
"No."
"I'm so sorry."
"No." I kiss the top of her head. “This is my error. I should have told Dara to stop the search. I failed you."
She pulls back just enough to look at me. "You've never failed me."
"I did." I brush away the tears clinging to her cheeks with both thumbs. I half-smile. "And baby... if I wanted you to leave, I would've sent you an email."
Her lashes flutter, sucking up tears. "What?"
"I would've sent you an email."
Despite everything... she half-laughs. "Because it would've been efficient?"
"Yes."
A tiny laugh escapes her.
"But..." I shake my head. "I never would've sent it."
"Because?"
"Because I want you here—with me,” I say, placing a gentle peck on her lips. They’re salty from the tears.
"Not because it's convenient or we work together flawlessly. It’s because every time I picture my future, you’re in it."
"I thought I'd proven that I want you by my side." I cradle her face. "I made you my partner."
"But if I failed to convince you..." My forehead rests against hers. "Then let me be clearer. I don't want a penthouse without you. I want to wake up with three mugs sitting by the sink because you can’t decide which one to use. I don’t want to come home to silence."
Her lips tremble.
"I want..." My voice softens. "...you."
Only you.
She starts crying again.
We both smile into a kiss, not to end the conversation, but to show her the meaning behind the words.
When we finally separate, she keeps one hand against my chest.
"You really want me here?"
"I've wanted you here since the first night."
She traces the buttons of my shirt. "So... no apartment?"
"No apartment."
"You'll have to tell Dara and apologize. She felt terrible."
"I will."
"I think she'd appreciate that." She looks around at the half-packed totes. “I made a mess.”
"We'll unpack."
She smiles. "You’ll help?"
"Yes.”
Drawing her back in against my body, she tightens her grip around my waist. “I never knew something could hurt as bad as this did.”
“I’m sorry.”
I really am. I’ve never been hurt in a relationship other than one that I never truly knew.
"I've never lost someone I actually had… until I thought I was losing you."
She tits her bead back for a long beat, just looking at me. "What are you thinking?"
The question lands deeper than she realizes, because there is something I've never fully explained.
I sit down on the bed and pull her onto my lap. "I spent most of my life believing I ruined someone else's."
Her smile fades.
"My mom." The words come quietly.
"There are pictures… she held me… for a little while." My jaws start to tremble. I’ve tried to compartmentalize for years but with Maci, she makes me feel comfortable to share what I have never voiced out loud.
"I've seen them so many times I know every crease in the blanket they wrapped around me." I swallow. "Then everything went wrong."
"My brothers and sister grew up with memories and I grew up with a few photographs."
My throat aches.
My heart aches.
“I was…” I look down at our joined hands. "... I was the only one who walked out of that hospital.”
“I never had a mom." My throat constricts and it comes out in pieces.
She squeezes my fingers.
"Witt..." Her voice is so tender and full of empathy.
Tears slide down my cheeks. Tears I’ve never allowed anyone to see. And now that I’ve opened the dam, they just keep coming. "I know what everyone tells me."
I've heard the evidence. I understand the medical explanations. Logically, I know exactly what conclusion I'm supposed to reach. But this is the one problem in my life logic has never been able to solve.
My voice cracks. And I hate how it makes me feel like the young boy staring at the one picture of my mom and me. Me laying on her chest before she died and I lived.
"They tell me it wasn't my fault."
"But it wasn’t.”
"Logically. But logic doesn't always win."
She rubs my back with one hand and never lets go of the other.
"Every day... there's still a small part of me that thinks... if I hadn’t been born that Dad would have his wife. J.D would have her in the room when he won the Heisman trophy. Greyson would’ve had his mom to ground him from being a playboy.
Noelle would’ve had Mom braiding her hair.
And Parker would’ve had someone to talk to and comfort him when things got rough when he was cheated on. "
She listens and it’s just what I need. Every single thought I’ve had over the years tumbles out of my mouth.
"I've spent my whole life solving problems.” My lips press together in a flat line. “Because I had to make up for the only one I couldn’t solve by bringing back Dad’s wife and my siblings’ mom."
Maci reaches up and cups my face. "You weren't the problem."
"No."
"You were the miracle she gave them."
A tear slips free before I can stop it.
She kisses my forehead.
"And I think, if she could see you now... she'd tell you exactly what I'm about to."
I whisper, "What?"
Her eyes glimmer with tears as much as mine.
"She'd tell you that she knew you were special from the moment you started growing inside her. She’d tell you that you do have a mom.
“You grew beneath her heart. You told her that you didn’t like certain foods when you would hiccup. When you kicked she knew it was playtime and press on her belly to play with you. You have a mom, just not as long as the rest of your family.”
Maci looks me in the eyes. ”Witt, she’d tell you that even though you may not realize it, you’re the glue to the family, not football.
The one who quietly hears problems and helps your family solve them.
You’re a billionaire who babysits his nieces and nephews and the brother that hacks into systems so you can help your family.
Your skills made it possible for your dad to use biometrics for his players.
You’re the man that listens and doesn’t judge. ”
She places gentle kisses on each cheek then says, “She’d tell you that you’ve always had a mom.
That maybe the reason she had four kids before you is so you would know her.
You would know what she would tell you in any situation.
And I know for sure she would tell you how proud she is of the man you’ve become.
The man she and your dad made together out of love. ”
I close my eyes.
For the first time in years, I wonder if maybe...
Just maybe...
Mom would agree.