7. MONDAY — SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO #2
My gaze drifted. To the horizon’s glow, the saltwater falling from Silas’s hair, the way he looked like he was finally at peace.
To the shore where our stuff had been discarded in a messy pile on the sand.
I hadn't planned for today. Tuesday was the plan.
I had a whole speech mapped out, a private dinner, a perfectly controlled environment.
But right now, with him bathed in the pre-dawn light, completely bare and beautifully vulnerable, I realized one thing.
My plan was bullshit. The universe was practically screaming at me. “This is your moment.”
“Come,” I said, my voice suddenly rough, tyhick with an anxiety I hadn't expected. I rounded his body, grabbing his waist under the water, and pulled him toward the shore. “Let’s get out before we freeze.”
Silas let out a soft laugh, letting me drag him through the surf.
“Hand me a towel?” he asked as he walked over to his pile of clothes.
I crouched down beside my things, hands shaking and heart hammering so violently against my bruised ribs, I thought the bone-cage might shatter.
Fisting my hoodie, I slipped my trembling fingers into the pocket, and closed my fist around the ring box.
I smoothly slid it into the pocket of my damp board shorts as I stood back up to hand Silas his towel.
He took it, wrapping it around his shoulders, and turned toward the ocean. The first brilliant streak of gold had cracked over the horizon, bleeding into the purple sky.
“I can’t believe it’s over,” he said softly. His shoulders relaxed as he watched the sunrise. The towel dropped to his waist as he let out a long, heavy exhale. “Last night, it felt like closing a door. Now, it’s like I can finally breathe again. Like we can actually just…start.”
I stepped up close behind him, the sound of the blood rushing in my own head drowning out the waves as I looked him over.
God, he was so beautiful. He was everything I wasn't. Radiant. Good. Whole. I was absolutely terrified that if I blinked, if my eyes didn’t stay locked on this man, he would realize I didn't deserve him.
But even more than that, I was terrified of letting another second of my life pass by without him belonging to me permanently.
“I was thinking about what you said Friday,” Silas continued, oblivious as he reflected. “About how we would’ve been married by now. How we wouldn't be hiding.” He shook his head slightly, a soft, disbelieving laugh escaping him. “It sounds so crazy to say out loud, but—”
“Silas.”
He paused. “Yeah?”
“Turn around.”
Wiping at his jaw, he turned. “What, I was just—” But the words died in his throat.
Down on one knee in the damp sand, with the golden light of the Caribbean sunrise glistening off the black tungsten band, I held my breath.
Silas froze.
Every inch of his body went completely rigid as the towel slipped from his grip, falling onto the sand. Wide brown eyes flicked from the ring, up to my face, and back down. His lips parted, but no sound came out, and I swear he stopped breathing entirely.
As I looked up at him, every single wall, every defense, every cynical piece of armor I had ever worn, fell away.
“I was a kid running from a nightmare, who never thought he was worth a damn thing. I never thought I was worth the family that took me in, and I definitely know I’m not worth a man like you. I’m terrified every single day you’ll wake up and realize you’re way out of my league.”
Silas let out a shattered gasp, his hands flying up to cover his mouth as tears spilled over his dark lashes.
“I told Evan I wasn't leaving this island as your boyfriend,” I continued, the tears burning in my own eyes. “We lost seven years of our lives to the dark. Seven years of surviving alone, because we were too terrified of what the world would do if we actually let ourselves be together. But I’m done. I’m not staying in the shadows anymore.
“I want mornings on your grandfather’s old porch while we watch the sunrise. I want to make you coffee every single day and then give you absolute hell for drinking too much of it. I want the loud, public life we were supposed to have, and I’m done giving a fuck who sees it.”
A sob tore its way out of Silas’s throat, and his shoulders shook uncontrollably.
“You’re the only living thing I have ever truly loved,” I vowed, holding the ring up between us on the empty beach. “You are my legacy. So, I’m asking you right now, in the open daylight, where I’m praying you’ll stay with me. Silas Scott Reed… Marry me?”
Time stretched, with the only sound on the island coming from the ocean. Like the entirety of San Juan was holding its breath with me.
And then, Silas collapsed.
With a slosh of the wet sand, he dropped directly to his knees and crashed into me so hard we almost tipped over. His massive arms wrapped around my neck, pulling my head to his chest as he sobbed and buried his nose in my hair.
“Yes!” he cried, “God, yes. Cal, of course I will.”
I let out the breath I felt like I had been holding for a decade and wrapped my free arm tightly around his waist. We stayed with our knees in the sand, holding onto each other like we were drowning, until Silas finally pulled back enough to look at my face.
His eyes were rimmed red, and his cheeks tear-stained, but he was grinning so hard it looked like it hurt. He looked down at the box I still gripped tightly and let out a watery giggle, wiping his face with the back of his hand.
“So…” Silas sniffled, a breathless laugh escaping him. “Do I wear the ring like a chick would, or what?”
I let out a loud, watery laugh of my own, my chest lighter than it had been in thirty-one years. “Fuck yeah, you do.”
Silas beamed. “Well, put it on my finger, then.”
I pulled the black tungsten band from the velvet and grabbed his left hand. My fingers shook so badly I barely managed to get it over his knuckle. But the second it slid into place at the base of his ring finger, it looked like it had always belonged there.
Silas stared down at his hand and touched the metal adoringly, before letting out another choked, disbelieving laugh. He looked up at me, a mixture of raw overwhelming emotion on his face.
“You asshole,” Silas whispered playfully, tears spilling over his cheeks again. “I was going to propose to you.”
“I know.” A slow, snide, incredibly-possessive smirk spread across my face.
Silas blinked. “What?”
“Evan spilled his guts to me. I know you’ve had a ring for months. I know you were trying to find the perfect time to do it when we got back to the Reed Land. Don’t worry, you’re still proposing to me. I want to see if you can top mine.”
Silas rolled his eyes, a devastatingly beautiful, deeply in-love smile lighting up his entire face. “Under one condition.”
“Name it.”
“You wear your ring too,” he said in a demanding tone as he grabbed the front of my shirt. “Even in the locker room. I want everyone to see it.”
“Absolutely,” I agreed without a single second of hesitation.
“Then you’re on.”
There was no chance to respond. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in, kissing me with a fierce, burning passion that tasted like salt, tears, and a brand new beginning.
I kissed him back with everything I had, my hands tangling in his hair.
It was grounding knowing that the man kneeling in the sand with me was no longer my scripted rival, my secret, or just my boyfriend.
He was going to be my husband. And I was going to make damn sure the entire world knew it.