Chapter 20
ZARA
FAMALAM WhatsApp Group
Bella
FFS MUM IS THAT A BLACK EYE? WHAT HAPPENED?
Zara
Guys, I think you’ll be proud of me. I went to a beach rave. Like there was a DJ and everything.
Mike
That doesn’t explain the black eye, Z? Did you fall? Have you got it checked out?
Zara
I got into a fight at the rave. Some bitch with a big ring clipped me.
Jay
Yes Mum. Respect.
Mike
What sort of fkn retreat is this? Is it like Fight Club?
Jay
What’s Fight Club?
Bella
It’s a film you idiot. Srsly Mum, what fight?
Zara
Some drunk nasty girls on the beach called me Grandma and I threw it down.
Mike
You threw it down? Were you drunk? High? What about the other people on this retreat? What about the man who was supposed to be looking after you?
Bella
Yh where was “Pedro”?
Zara
He didn’t start it. He broke it all up and he got us all home safely. Chill.
Bella
*cringe* you’re so embarrassing, can you BEHAVE like a normal mother?
Mike:
Maybe go get some frozen peas on it, love?
Zara
It looks worse than it is. I yanked out a hair extension. I’m going to bring it home as a souvenir. It was exhilarating to get all of that out of my system.
Mike
Hun, remember our travel insurance won’t cover everything. If you want to fight people, I can sign you up for boxercise at David Lloyd.
Zara
Don’t worry. I’m retiring from the ring. I’m too old to repeat that experience.
Louis
Grandma
Zara
Oh look. He is there.
Louis
Mum, is there any toothpaste in the house?
Zara
Seriously, Louis?
JESS
Dean
I brought them to the park and I think Amber said dog or she could have been pointing to the woman with the big hair, I’m not quite sure.
God, I miss you three xx.
We miss you too. But please tell me you’re having fun?
I went to like a rave last night, Dean. On a beach.
Look at you reclaiming your youth? Was it like that time we went to that foam party in Ayia Napa?
Not quite, I got into a scuffle with some skinny mean girls though. That Zara girl knows how to handle herself.
Sounds just like our youth, fights in clubs and messy dancing and I hope a touch of light drinking?
Possibly.
That’s my girl.
I was so drunk, I came back here and went skinny-dipping with the groundsman
The one with the snorkel? Yeah, I’ve seen enough of him to last a lifetime.
The very one. It was very liberating. Very fun.
Then I approve, of all of it. Love you xx
Love you more xx
What’s the plan for today then?
Who knows? It’s lunchtime now, we’ve all slept in. I need coffee, I need food. I tell you, this man is king of the picky bits.
I think they call that tapas, babe.
You posh twat.
You got your book? Sun shining? Then get outside, hun. Get back in the pool.
Naked?
However you want. Wish I was there xx
Wish you were here too xx