29. Chapter 29
Arwen
Asoft click sounds behind me as my bedroom door opens, then closes.
I don’t bother turning. Only three people ever visit, and Maddox only comes after dark, silently climbing into bed beside me. He holds me while I pretend to sleep.
“How are you today?” Cleo asks gently. The mattress dips behind me as she sits on the edge of the bed, her hand rubbing slow circles between my shoulders.
I stare at the wall and say nothing. What is there to say?
That every time I close my eyes I see blood pooling across concrete? That I hear his screaming in my dreams? That I can still feel the man’s ruined leg in my hands?
When I stepped into the fight, all I could think about was us versus them, consumed by rage. No mind for who got caught in the crosshairs.
For days they’ve been trying to coax me out of bed with their whispered encouragement and untouched food trays.
“Arwen,” Tabby says, voice firmer than Cleo’s. “You need to eat something.”
Jokes on them. I’ve starved for longer than this. I don’t need to move. Nothing short of divine universe intervention is getting me out of this bed.
“Okay, enough of this.” She rips the blankets off me, and I shriek in surprise as cold air hits my skin.
“Tabby—!”
“I love you,” she says while grabbing my ankle, “but you smell terrible and I’m not watching my feistiest friend burn out in a pile of her own filth.”
“Tabby,” Cleo hisses.
“What? She’s taking a bath, or I will hose her down, Cleo. She may think torturing herself is fine, but she’s not torturing my nose any longer.”
They haul me out of bed despite my weak protests. I’m too exhausted to fight. Somehow I end up shoved into a steaming bath while Tabby mutters about me being “one depressive episode away from becoming a cryptid.”
Cleo washes my hair and Tabby scrubs my arms. Neither says a word when the tears start again.
Emerging from the bathroom wrapped in clean clothes, I spy food already set up at the small table by the window.
I’ve never had an overbearing parental figure in my life, and now I’m not sure why I wanted one in the first place.
Clearly, the universe brought them into my life to torture me with their love and care.
With a defeated sigh, I sit and take a bite. Silence stretches between us for several minutes. Then Cleo speaks. “Arwen… you know this wasn’t your fault.”
“Not my fault?” I snap, the words exploding out of me so fast they surprise even me. The fork clatters from my hand as anger rises sharp, slicing through the numbness.
“I didn’t see anyone else firing off voids of destruction that remove people’s limbs!”
Both of them go still, faces remaining kind despite my outburst.
Cleo recovers first. “Nobody has ever seen a power like yours before,” she says.
“No one expects you to know how to control something that no one understands. Everyone else has had years of at least basic power training. It’s like giving a rocket launcher to someone who’s never even seen a gun before. ”
“I hurt someone!” My voice cracks. “I made that decision. I used my power. No one forced me. In the past, it was always in self defense or during combat training. He was innocent and scared, and hiding.”
The room falls silent again.
“Maddox hasn’t said anything to me,” I whisper. “Duval probably blames me. I’m sure I’ve ruined the alliance.”
Tabby’s expression softens. “Maddox does not blame you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“We do,” Cleo says. “He checks in with us multiple times every day to ask how you are doing.”
“I have nothing to offer here,” I whisper. “I keep trying to help and all I do is make everything worse for him. There’s no winning with his family. My power is unstable. I’ve used it three times since coming to Gluttony, each time more destructive than the last.”
Cleo leans forward. “Then learn.”
I look at her in confusion.
She shrugs. “You have a dangerous power. Fine. Learn to control it.”
Tabby nods. “Sulking in bed won’t make it disappear. This isn’t you. This isn’t the girl who worked hard every day to prove she deserved to be at the Academy, despite no powers, four asshole bonds and a death deadline handing over her head.”
“Your intentions are good, Arwen. That matters.” Cleo adds, folding her arms. “You need to talk to Maddox.”
I tense. “I don’t know if today is the right time...”
Cleo’s tone sharpens. “Maddox cannot help you if you refuse to speak to him. He sneaks in here every night, waiting for you to open up.”
I hate that she’s right. “He doesn’t like me wondering around the building alone…”
“Councilor West got called away to some urgent Council meeting this morning. No more excuses.” Tabby says.
Which means Maddox is likely alone. My stomach drops, but I stand before I lose my nerve.
***
When I inquire about Maddox’s location, the guards outside direct me deeper into the massive hotel than I’ve ever been before.
The elevator drops to one of the lowest levels.
It opens onto a floor that feels like a different building entirely.
The carpet stops at the threshold. Beyond it, bare concrete stretches the length of a corridor lit by fluorescent tubes that cast everything in a flat, grey-white light.
The walls are unpainted. The ceiling is low.
One door at the end of the corridor stands open, and a guard nods me inside. The room is stark and windowless, a two-way mirror spanning the entire far wall.
I step closer, and my stomach twists as I see Maddox on the other side of the glass.
Lucas walks into the room and freezes. “Arwen—wait—”
I hold out a hand to stop him as I process the scene beyond the mirror. A terrified man sobs in a chair as Maddox stands over him like death itself.
“Who did you tell?” His voice sends chills across my skin.
The man’s face turns red as he struggles against the cuffs holding his arms behind the chair.
“No one.”
“Who?” He slams the table with his fist, making me jump.
“Fuck you. I said nothing.”
Maddox moves like a striking snake. He grabs the man’s jaw and forces his mouth open with his fingers.
My breath catches at the rough treatment. I haven’t seen this side of Maddox before.
He uncorks a vial and pours the liquid down the man’s throat. The scream that follows is inhumane as the man thrashes and gurgles.
“It burns!” he shrieks hoarsely.
Bile runs up my throat as I stumble backwards, making it two steps before collapsing at the trash bin and vomiting up my lunch.
Lucas’s voice crackles over the intercom. “Maddox. You need to get back here.”
A second later, I hear a door slam open. Then—
“Fuck.” Maddox is in front of me before I can straighten from the trash can. His entire demeanor shifts the moment he sees my face. Before I can protest, he scoops me into his arms like I weigh nothing.
“Arwen… why are you down here?” he asks quietly, carrying me from the room.
I can’t formulate an answer. Not with the image of that screaming man still burned behind my eyes.
He brings me back to his room and sets me gently on the edge of his couch, using both hands to tuck the strands of my hair behind my ears before wiping my mouth with a towel.
Maddox remains standing for a moment before finally sitting across from me, elbows on his knees, eyes fixed on the floor. Silence stretches as I get my thoughts together.
“What did you do to him?” I ask, voice strained.
Maddox exhales. “It’s possible he’s the one who sold our location before meeting Duval.”
“Possible?”
He shakes his head, a muscle feathering along his jawline, his gaze fixed on the floor between us.
“The only people who knew we were going to meet with Duval were the teams Lucas assembled. I trust most of these people with my life. I haven’t had a location security breach in years.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
He looks up. “He was one of two brand new recruits assigned to the escort unit. Logically, it had to be one of them that sold our location plans to one of my siblings.”
I feel sick. “Two?”
He nods once, and an icy feeling spreads through my chest. “You’re doing that to two men,” I whisper, “on the chance that one of them might be guilty?”
“And what about the innocent one? What if they’re both innocent?” I ask, my voice rising as my horror turns sharp.
“Arwen,” he replies calmly, “you don’t understand the situation. You couldn’t. Not unless you were raised in this life.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “That sounds like an easy excuse when you’re not on the receiving end of the torture.”
His expression darkens.
“This was necessary.”
“Necessary?” I repeat, tone rising. “That sounds like what Kael said when he fed that old man to a fighting ring!”
His expression closes off, every soft line of his face going rigid and remote.
“That is not the same, and you know it. Someone betrayed us. Your safety means everything to me. If I have to shove my potions down a thousand throats to protect you, I’ll do it.”
We stare at each other, breathing too hard, both of our tempers on edge.
Then Maddox drags a hand over his face and sinks back into his seat. For a long moment, he says nothing.
When he finally speaks, his voice is lower. “I never wanted you to see that part of my world.”
“But it exists,” he continues. “This is mercy compared to what some of my siblings do.”
His eyes meet mine. “Wicka experiments on children she thinks might develop useful powers,” he says. “Whole families disappear in Vex’s territories. Teeth drains people until they’re husks of a human just to recharge his own like batteries.”
Maddox’s voice drops even lower.
“I mentioned it to you last year… I do what I have to because if I don’t—people like them gain more power. More territory. More lives to ruin.”
His gaze locks on mine as I fold my arms across my chest.
“But it only works if I keep my place at the top of the food chain. If I let things like this betrayal slide, with no consequences, they will eat us alive. This is a necessary evil.”
A cold, logical part of me traces the shape of his reasoning and finds it sound. Another part recoils, hearing in his voice the same cadence all monsters use when explaining why the blood had to be spilled.
Monster.
The thought brings me back to the Iron Gut.
I let out a broken laugh. “I guess I have little room to judge.”
Maddox frowns. “What are you talking about?”
I swallow hard. “Being a destructive monster myself and all,” my voice cracks. “Who am I to talk about morality?”
He is on his feet instantly. “You are not a monster. It was an accident, Arwen. You have to know that.”
“Yeah, well…there seems to be a lot of accidents in this family’s vicious quest for power. And I just added to them. Guess I really am one of you after all.”
His face shutters, the briefest wince tightening his features as my words land. I see it… the raw sting of being lumped in with the very cruelty he condemns from his siblings.
The hurt in his eyes makes me wish I could claw the words back out of the air.
“That’s not what I meant…”
“I know.” His voice is quiet now. “But I understand.”
“Maddox, I know you aren’t them. They are so much worse…” I continue softly, “and I know that you are trying to do what you think is right.”
Guilt claws at my throat as I step closer and his eyes lift to mine.
“But you are still part of this system. And I see what it’s doing to you.” My voice shakes. “What it’s doing to me.”
He goes still.
“I’ve been here a month,” I whisper, tears burning again, “and I already hurt someone because I got careless. Because I got caught up in alliances and strategy and us-versus-them and forgot there are innocent people trapped in the middle of all of this.”
My voice breaks.
“If I stay here… I will become this.”
His face drains. “What are you saying?”
I force the words out before I can lose my nerve. “If the Council permits, I’d like to return to the academy. I need to learn control and I need to understand my power before anyone else gets hurt.”
“And if they don’t allow you to go?” he asks, and I swallow.
“Then I want to go home. To Wrath.”
His expression turns stricken. “No. Arwen—no. It isn’t safe.”
“It’s safer than staying here! Safer than what I become when I involve myself with all this fighting and political maneuvering.”
His voice rises. “I can protect you!”
I step forward until I’m in front of him. Lifting my hand, I cup his cheek. His eyes search mine desperately. “You can’t protect me from myself. I don’t want to be away from you, but if I need to leave to keep people safe, I will. I’m sorry.”
Before he can stop me, I turn and walk away.