Chapter Sixteen
EDDIE
As I walk the long hallway toward the exit of the hospital, the same words keep spinning in my head. You can do this. There’s nothing to be nervous about.
I’m gaslighting myself. There is a lot to be nervous about.
Sidney Crane, NHL goaltender, annoyingly handsome human, and the man who has been texting me good morning for a week straight, is parked outside the hospital, leaning against a dark SUV…and smiling at me.
Hey, he says as I come to a stop in front of him. How was your shift?
Long, I say honestly.
Well. He opens the passenger door. Let’s make this long day into a delightful night.
Sounds great, I tell him. I hesitate before sliding into his car. The thought enters my mind, and I don’t fight it. I give him a kiss on the cheek. He’s stunned, but the smug grin that takes over his face has me wanting to giggle like a schoolgirl.
The smile stays on his face as he rounds the car and throughout our journey into the city.
The Mexican restaurant he chose isn’t fancy. It’s warm, with string lights twinkling along the ceiling and the smell of cilantro and lime drifting through the air. It’s the perfect hideaway.
You come here a lot? I ask as we slide into a booth.
Once or twice, he says with a wink. Which probably means at least once a week. I shake my head at his antics. He’s in a great mood, and it’s catching.
You look beautiful tonight, he tells me, reaching for my hand across the table. Our fingers intertwine. His palm is rough against mine. I can see a bruise on his wrist and reach out to caress it with my free hand.
Realizing what I’m doing, I self-consciously tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Thank you. I’m about to go into all the reasons why I’m sure I must look a mess and he’s being nice, but Sidney brings me out of my thoughts with a gentle squeeze.
I accept the compliment and change the conversation.
How was your road trip? Joey and I watched a couple of the series. All but the one in LA. That one was too late for me to stay up for.
He nods while taking a sip of water. It was good. It felt a little odd to be on a long road trip so soon after the home opener, but the team’s really vibing this season.
When the waitress comes to our table, she delivers a tray of chips and salsa. After taking our drink orders, she sashays away. My eyes dart from her ass over to Sidney…who’s looking directly at me.
Enjoying the view? he teases.
She likes you, I state.
No, she doesn’t. She’s play-acting, hoping for a good tip at the end of the night.
He has a point. Not able to wait a second longer, I reach for the chips and take a large dunk of the salsa.
Ohmygod, I moan, still chewing. The salsa is perfect. Closing my eyes, I savour every bite. Going back for more, I notice Sidney’s hooded eyes watching me.
Good? he asks, his voice a little husky.
Perfect.
He looks stupidly pleased, hypnotized by my lips. I get a thrill out of his response to me enjoying my food. I feel light and alive, my body so aware of how close Sidney is. I still feel the ghost of his hand on mine. The tingles still linger.
Our drinks come quickly, and we both put our orders in.
After that, conversation flows. We might talk or text every day, but there are little things to catch up on too.
I want to hear more about his road trip, and he wants me to go into more detail about how I’m feeling and the follow-up with my doctor.
And through it all, we exchange little touches, heightening the mood.
He tells me stories about team pranks, about rookies who mixed up protein powder with powdered sugar, about Max accidentally flooding a hotel bathroom when he decided that he had to have an ice bath. When he says ‘don’t tell anyone,’ Sidney says, he means ‘tell everyone after half a beer.’
Sounds like a guy that keeps you on your toes.
He’s chaos with skates. But yeah, a great captain and friend. Hell, he’s practically family at this point. Him and Mason. My sister has absolutely no problem bossing them around when we’re all together.
I laugh, warmth blooming through my ribs.
Your sister sounds amazing. I know I only met her briefly, but I can totally see her owning a room. Harper was a sweet girl too, so your sister must have other low-key qualities besides busting your balls and threatening death.
He takes a sip of his iced tea. She does. I just don’t see them. Often, that is, he laughs. When our amusement dies a bit, Sidney’s gaze turns serious, and I brace myself. I think I know the question that’s about to come.
I don’t want to pry, and you can tell me to piss off if you don’t want to talk about it, but do you and Joey really not have any other family?
I don’t want to talk about them and ruin a perfectly good night, but there’s also a need for me to unburden myself.
To tell someone about the events that led to me being a single mom, cut off from her family.
It must be the soft lighting and the warm food that has me trusting this is the right moment to share.
The way Sidney is watching me also unravels me a little.
I got pregnant during my first semester of university, I hear myself say. Joey’s father…didn’t take the news well. He said it wasn’t the life he wanted. That a baby wasn’t part of his plan, and if I decided to have it, then he wasn’t going to be a part of my life.
Sidney’s expression tightens.
Once I knew of the baby’s existence, I was hooked.
I did want to be a mom—maybe not so young—but there was no going back for me.
So he left. Transferred schools to get away from it all, I say.
And I kept going with school until I couldn’t anymore.
I thought…I thought my family… The words catch in my throat.
Sidney reaches across the table, clasping my hand and stopping me from tearing up the paper napkin into little pieces. His touch gives me the strength to find my voice again.
I thought my family would be supportive.
Help me when the time came. I was wrong.
I fake laugh, remembering their reactions.
So wrong. They allowed me to live at home until my final trimester, and then they wanted me out.
They didn’t want the media finding out and completely destroying my father’s reputation.
Sidney’s brow scrunches up in confusion. The media? How is the media connected to your family?
This is the big reveal. The information that could make or break my future with Sidney. My father isn’t a good man; he isn’t nice and supportive behind closed doors. In front of others? Sure, he’s the shining example of the perfect father—the perfect leader.
My father is Phillip Watson-Montgomery, I admit to him in a hushed whisper. I’m his first-born child from his first affair after he married my ‘mother.’ I use air quotes. My birth certificate was altered. A lie that has been covered up to protect his wholesome image.
Isn’t he the one—
Yes.
And he wrongly supports—
Right again.
I keep cutting him off because I don’t want to talk about my father’s gross politics.
He’s a man who preaches one thing: old-fashioned views on what a family should be and what a wholesome household should look like.
It’s all smoke and mirrors. He says one thing—screams it, more like—but did the exact opposite.
Not only am I a reminder to him of his failure, but I’m also the crack in his campaign’s fortress.
If someone found out my true parentage, it would be over for him.
He took me from a mother who couldn’t fight back, paid her off, and made her disappear. Then he forced his wife, who had multiple miscarriages over the course of their relationship, to adopt me. And she loved me…until her biological children came along.
I take a deep breath, licking the side of my lip as I steady myself to tell him the rest.
I was already the black sheep of the family, the one with the secret to destroy everything he’d lied so hard to achieve, but when I got pregnant with Joey, that was the last straw.
I was to do as they demanded, or I would be disinherited and cut from the family.
I tip my head toward Sidney. You know the path I chose.
There’s a long silence. Sidney releases my hand and leans back in his chair. His gaze goes over my head as something plays out in his mind. For a moment, a mere second, I think he’s going to pack up and leave. I wouldn’t blame him. My father’s politics are…unhinged.
When Sidney does look at me again, he gives me a nod and stands up. But he doesn’t leave. He sidesteps to my side of the booth and places his arm over my shoulders, bringing me in close. His first words surprise me.
What a fucking hypocrite. Part laugh, part wheeze escapes my lips. I have to take a sip of my water to compose myself. He shunned you, even though the bastard isn’t the saint he’s trying to convince the world he is. Fu-ck-ing hell, he enunciates slowly.
Yeah is all I’m able to say, pressing my lips into a thin line.
I’m sorry, baby. That fucking sucks. No other way to say it.
It did—at the time. But it was honestly for the best. It meant Joey’s grown up so far from that pretentious, closed-minded world.
He’s a great kid.
He is, isn’t he, I proudly agree. Leaning into him more, I rest my head on his shoulder.
His arm instantly goes around me, holding me tight against him and soaking in all his warmth.
Wow, I say on an exhale of air. That was a lot.
I haven’t told anyone that story for a really long time. Not like this.
Silence. But not uncomfortable.
Then Sidney gives my upper body a squeeze with his arm, and I duck my head closer to his skin, breathing in his woodsy scent.
When I feel at peace again, the cold pinpricks of the past leaving my skin, I sit up but don’t break my connection with Sidney.
Intertwining our fingers, I grin over at him.
When he sees my happiness, he smiles back.
I look at our hands, then at him again, feeling so free, and happy…
and safe. I’ve shared a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden for so long that the relief feels like a ten-pound weight off my shoulders.
I want to laugh and cry and dance around I feel so light.
But we’re in a crowded restaurant, so I settle for the next best thing.
I lean over and kiss his cheek. When I pull back, he turns to me, and I see something sparkle in his eyes. The cheek kiss was simple and sweet. Yet what I see in his eyes is anything but. I was to explore that. Soon.
Thank you for letting me share that with you. It’s been a long time since I’ve told anyone that.
Thank you for trusting me. The sincerity in his voice has me swallowing back a laugh-cry. I’m sorry, he says quietly. You deserved better than that.
I swallow. I know. But it’s only a part of what shaped me.
It’s part of your story. And I’m glad you told me.
God help me. I’m glad too.
We’re still holding hands and gazing into each other’s lovesick eyes when the waitress comes to drop the bill. Sidney slides his card forward before I can even move.
As we stand to leave, he asks, Should we get something for Joey?
He’s probably ordered a pizza the size of his torso by now.
Oh, pizza sounds good, actually.
We just ate!
Joey and I are growing boys! With healthy appetites.
Unbelievable, I groan, shaking my head at his antics.
Sooo. He grins. Loaded nachos?
My heart does a very embarrassing swoop.
Sure, I say.
***
In the parking lot, the air is cool, crisp with possibility. Sidney rubs his hands together, trying to create warmth. His breath is visible in the air, dancing around him before dissipating into the night.
He reaches for my hand, clasping it in instant warmth. It makes me smile how easily he reaches for me, always needing to be touching some small part of me. At first, I thought he did it because it was part of his flirting technique. But as the weeks have passed, I’ve learned it’s his love language.
Sidney walks me to his SUV, two takeout bags dangling from one hand, the other holding mine tight. The drive back to my place is quiet, but there is a tension. A hot, pulsing tension that is slowly driving me crazy.
I had a good time, he says, parking the car on the curb and turning toward me.
Me too.
He gestures for me to stay where I am before jumping out of his seat and rounding the car. Opening my door, he extends his hand to help me out. When the car door slams shut behind me, Sidney gently pushes me against the cool metal.
My breath catches. I’m not sure if it’s from the sudden cold on my back or from the dominant, sexy move.
He steps closer so that our chests are almost touching. The hand that had pressed me against the car slowly slides down the collar of my jacket until he’s playing with the end of my scarf.
I know what I want to happen. What I desperately need to happen. When his eyes flick up to mine, my mouth opens on a gasp.
Eddie, he says softly, leaning just a little closer. I can feel his breath against my lips.
Yes? I reply, almost breathless. My hands come up and tangle in his jacket, pulling him closer to me.
I’m going to kiss you now. Is that okay?
I don’t wait for him to do it. Rising to my tiptoes, I press my lips against his. I don’t want to wait another second. This is all I’ve been secretly thinking about all night. I’ve done my waiting.
I sigh against his mouth, and it feels like coming home. His lips touch mine, and it’s the single greatest feeling in the world. God, I’ve missed this. I slide my hands up his coat-covered chest and wrap them around his neck. He pulls me into him, and I melt into his strong body.
I try to deepen the kiss, wanting more, but he pulls back.
Wow, I whisper.
He chuckles softly. Yeah. Wow. I don’t want to stop kissing you, but I think we may have an audience.
I look over toward the house and see the front curtain swaying, as if someone was just there and then dashed away. A laugh huffs out of me at being caught.
I’ll text you when I land tomorrow, he says, running a thumb up my cheekbone.
You better. I pat his chest, smiling up at him. I’ve just taken a step away, intending to head for the house, when Sidney pulls me back for one more long kiss. Before I move away again, he places the takeout bag in my hand.
Have a good night, baby, he calls to me as I stagger, lust-drunk, to my front door. I wave one last time before entering the house. I lean back against the door, a huge smile across my face.