Chapter 16
Ash
We won.
Whether that was because I got my shit together in the third period or because the other team sucked so bad was unclear, but we won.
The team was happy, Reed was happy, and I really wanted to be too, but my happiness was being dangled in front of me on a stick. My happiness was about a fifteen-minute drive away, and only after I got showered, changed, and sat through a thirty-minute debrief with Reed and the rest of our team.
Twenty minutes, my ass–I could still hear Thayer in my head.
When Reed finally dismissed us, Thayer was long gone. I was annoyed–even if we couldn’t actually leave together, it would have been nice to know he stuck around. He rarely did after games, unless one of us goalies needed something from him, so it shouldn't have been surprising.
Knocking on his door fifteen minutes later, I was exhausted. I was tired, overstimulated, and overheated still–I just couldn't seem to level out. I needed Thayer to just do me or something–lay me out till I passed out and made it all better.
Thayer opened his door quickly, smiling warmly and kissing my head as I walked in. I was sure it was a sweet gesture, and that I’d probably eat it up when I was leveled out again, but I was focused–hell-bent.
I dropped my bag on the floor, spun around, and with not an ounce of hesitation, dropped to my knees in front of him.
“Hello to you, too,” Thayer chuckled, shutting his door and squatting down to me casually. “Most people try a normal greeting, but yours is awfully interesting–”
“You said–”
“I said,” he interrupted firmly, his eyes locking with mine, “that I’d look at your foot when we got home. I said that I would help when we got home, not whatever you think is about to happen. Stand up.”
Now, with hesitation, I stumbled back onto my feet, feeling like I was three feet tall suddenly. Thayer rested a hand on the side of my neck, his grip firm but not constricting, as he pulled me closer, kissing me.
“Hi,” he said, softer now. “See, that’s how normal couples would greet one another.”
Blah blah blah–it was already working.
His hand on my neck, and even if it was patronizing, the way he was speaking to me was already quelling some of the irritation in my body.
“Hi,” I whispered, leaning in to kiss him again, only meeting resistance in his hold on my neck.
“Let me see your foot,” he hummed, releasing my neck and sending me to his room.
My foot was fine, honestly. It was a little sore earlier, but it felt fine by the time the game was over–that wasn’t good enough for Thayer.
He sat me on his bed, took off my shoe, and inspected my foot and toes to make sure they were unharmed. I may have acted all annoyed, but there was an undeniable warmth under my skin that wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as the overheated I just was.
He lectured me about kicking solid objects when I was angry, too, but that did feel patronizing…
I still liked that he cared that much.
I'd showered after my game, but once Thayer was done with his inspection of me, he guided me with him to his shower. I wasn't complaining by any means–his hands felt nice on my skin, massaging soap that smelled like him into my aching muscles.
It was way better than the shower I took in a room full of sweaty guys.
“Ash,” Thayer asked, pulling me out of the floaty place my head was happy to be back in. “You with me or gone already?”
“Going,” I mumbled, smiling and resting my head back on his shoulder.
His hands were all over my stomach and sides, and his body was slippery against my back, but it was all soft, and I loved it. I could actually feel every ounce of irritation and anger just seeping right out of me.
“Okay,” he chuckled lowly, kissing the side of my head slowly. “I want to ask you something, but I need you to actually answer–not loopy-Ash.”
“Present,” I hummed, barely coming out, but I was here.
I tried telling him that this morning–that I was always here; just talking was kind of hard the more he touched me, but I got the sense that he didn’t believe me.
“I can tell,” he mused, chuckling to himself as he massaged soap up my chest–this was fucking nice. “I want to do something different tonight, baby,” he hummed, pressing slow kisses down my neck. “If you’re okay with it, I want to fuck you.”
The words vibrated down my spine to land in a tingly warm pile, deep in my bones.
It was a big ask, but I wasn’t naive–I assumed it was coming. I didn't just think I would date a man and we’d both be happy sucking one another off for all time.
I mean, I'd be pretty happy with that for a while, but I was sure I'd miss sinking my dick into something sooner or later.
“Yeah,” I breathed, rolling my head towards him happily. “I’m okay with that.”
That made him happy.
I made him happy.
He smiled and kissed me nice and slow–appreciative. I realized now that, as nice as this all was, it was prep.
All the confidence I had was still there, but it was shaky. I was nervous–rightfully so–because this was all new to me, but Thayer knew that.
He took care of me.
He cared for me in more ways than just with his hands, so there was no reason to be wary of his hands opening me or getting me ready.
It wasn’t fear.
Just nerves.
Thayer shut off the water when he was done, kissing my cheek and mumbling praises into my skin as he toweled me off. I never saw myself as someone who got off on praise like that, but I was getting almost painfully turned on with every word out of his mouth.
“You don't have to,” I trailed off, gesturing at the shower as he led me out to his room again.
In all honesty, I'd never watched even a single second of gay porn, even by accident, so I didn't really know how most of this worked. I assumed we’d do it back and forth with one another, but maybe it was different–I didn't know.
Thayer let out a chuckle under his breath, his hand on my back softening, less to control and more to ground. “Ash, I’m, uh,” he laughed, shaking his head softly. “I don’t switch–I’m just a top.”
Oh.
Was that normal?
Maybe it was–maybe I was the weird one for assuming.
My brain rattled around for an answer that wasn't just shock, but all I could come up with were more questions.
What did that mean for me?
If I stayed with Thayer, I’d always be the one getting fucked?
If I stayed with Thayer–I already didn't even like thinking about that as a possibility. I was staying with Thayer–I had to. I needed this.
I needed him.
“So, I…” I trailed off, trying to find the right words that didn’t sound like a clueless child. “That would make me a bottom? Like full-time?”
“If that’s okay with you,” he said softly, his hand going too slack on my back. “It’s a lot–you’re reacting normally, Ash… You were right to assume I'd switch, but I don’t, so now you need to decide if you can live with that.”
Something very unpleasant settled in my chest at his ease.
“Should probably try it before I decide,” I mumbled, nudging my head at his bed.
“You should,” he hummed, kissing my cheek.
It was bugging me.
He was so unbothered that this might be an end for us. I mean, I knew it wasn't.
If I hated this, I would just make myself okay with only his life-altering blowjobs to keep me satisfied forever–that was fine by me.
Still, he didn’t even care?
Wasn’t he even slightly worried about me not liking this?
“Hey, if I like this,” I started, pausing my step closer to his bed with his full attention on me again. “Does that make me gayer than you?” I smirked, making him snicker to himself.
“Sure, baby.”