Chapter 30
Beau
Milo and I are lying in bed together, his fingers running through my curls, my hand holding him to me.
I love him.
Fuck.
There’s something about that moment. That moment when he told me that felt so surreal. Like I can’t believe how lucky I am and like I’m scared out of my mind. I think he could tell then that I was feeling both, because he wasn’t clinging to me too tightly, a fact I couldn’t be more grateful for.
The morning silence is lulling, so much so that I could easily fall back to sleep. Maybe it’s the silence, or maybe it’s the man whose arms I’m in. I couldn’t tell you. All I know is that I feel completely at ease in this exact moment. His arms are exactly where I want to be.
Our peace doesn’t last, though. It can’t. Because today is the first day I’m allowed back to the practice rink. Just to do light cardio, but still, better than being cooped up all day alone.
“Are you ready for it?” Milo asks, his voice a careful calm. Its gentle lilt is music to my ears.
“Ready for what?” I ask, as if I don’t know exactly what he’s asking about. As if my chest isn’t thrumming with excitement. Because what else could he possibly be asking about?
He gives me a look like he’s thinking exactly that.
“Practice, getting back to the rink. Do you think they’ll let you skate at all?” His voice is a little excited at the prospect, and even though I know there’s absolutely no chance that they will, I play along with his enthusiasm.
“Maybe, I don’t know.” I do my little half shrug still, since one arm has been entirely out of commission for far too long now. I barely know how to function with two anymore, even if it’s only been a week.
“Do you think we have time before we have to get ready?” Milo asks, a sultry smile on his face.
I groan, wanting nothing more than to sink into his warmth but knowing we have, at most, ten minutes before we need to get going.
“Hand jobs?” I ask, and he growls. Like he really growls before he pounces on me.
We’re rolling around in the bed, the sheets kicked off, and our dicks in each other’s hands. It’s a race against time as I thrust and thrust, desperate to come but even more desperate to see him lose it.
“Whoever comes first has to drive to practice.” I laugh when Milo instantly slows his jerking of my cock. “C’mon, I’m not that bad of a driver.” His eyebrows fly up his forehead. Okay, maybe I am that bad. By Texas standards, I’m a gold-star driver.
I start jerking Milo leisurely.
“At this rate, neither of us is going to come, and we’ll be going to practice with our dicks hard.” Milo laughs.
“That’ll be pretty awkward to explain to the other guys, huh?” I shrug, because teasing him like this is just too fun.
“Fuck, baby,” he groans when I give his cock a particularly heady squeeze. “Please let me come.” He begs so prettily for me. “Please, baby.”
My hand picks up speed, and I watch as his balls draw up.
“That’s it, baby girl, come for me.”
And he obeys.
We’re holding hands the entire car ride to the rink, but our hands drop when we get there. It doesn’t quite feel right to not be holding him in some way, but he’s not ready to come out, and I’m going to respect his decision.
I feel like I could scream it from the rooftops, but until he’s ready to whisper it to our team, I’m going to keep it under wraps.
I know he talked to Coach, and we’ve talked to Miranda, but neither person is going to out us to the whole team.
The team feels like a different step. A step that may be a little scary.
We are still walking next to each other when we push into the locker room. Everyone is chatting loudly, laughing and enjoying themselves. We move to get ready for practice.
I’m dressed for cardio, basketball shorts and a sweatshirt. The athletic trainer, Mia, meets me in the weight room, and we head over to the treadmill. She’s short, has to only be five foot two, but she’s terrifying as she threatens me within an inch of my life.
“And you’re not going to touch the speed, do you understand?” she glowers at me, and I nod so damn hard it hurts my neck a little.
I start walking, music blasting in my ear, and watch out of the corner of my eye as she talks to the physical therapist. Their heads are bent close together as they chatter, the gossips. I guess I’ll know soon enough what they’re saying.
I’ve always enjoyed cardio like this, just the peace of alone time.
Time ticks slowly by. Tick, tick, tick, and I’m walking, walking, walking with music blasting in my ear when suddenly my headphones die.
“Well, that blows,” I say out loud to no one. And then I’m just there, walking, the whirring sound of the treadmill the only sound I hear. I leave my headphones in, not wanting to lose them, and just listen to the silence.
When you have no music, your mind has time to wander, and the places it wanders are …
interesting. I wonder about treadmills. What was the first one like?
I wonder about that weird dog treadmill that I’ve seen videos of on TikTok.
Are those expensive? I wonder if it’s just big dogs that use those treadmills or if anyone ever brings their corgis to use them.
I wonder about dogs and if Milo has ever wanted one.
I’ve always wanted one, but with our away schedule, it would be so hard.
Milo.
Fuck, I told him I love him.
It took me a year to tell Bianca that I loved her, and yet it’s barely been three months. Is he my boyfriend? Do I want him to be my boyfriend?
I think I do.
I thought I was ready for the ultimate hoe phase. I was ready to sleep with all of Minneapolis when I got here, then this six-one, wide, princess-eyed, gorgeous man box jumped into my life.
We should probably talk about…
“Beau!”
I trip over myself, my hand slamming on the emergency stop.
Mia is glaring at me.
“I’ve been calling your name for, like, three minutes!” she crosses her arms in an adorable little pout. “Turn your music down next time.”
I don’t correct her, pulling out my earbuds and tossing the case in my bag.
We move through the gym with the physical therapist, working on passive shoulder movements and lower arm exercises. All the while, my mind stays stagnant.
Milo.
Milo.
Mia and the physical therapist, Terry, are getting irritated with me, I can tell. Because I’m barely paying attention to them and just thinking about my man on the ice.
I can’t wait to be out there playing with him again.
“Beau!” Terry is calling to me, his dark eyes glaring a hole into the side of my head. “You have to be here right now if you ever want to get back on that ice. I need your mind present.”
And I do want to get back onto that ice, more than anything, so I buckle down and we work out this fucking shoulder.
I’m already in the locker room and showered clean when the guys get off the ice and start piling in. When Milo clambers through with all his heavy pads, my eyes find his instantly. Those grassy greens, like a field I want to lie out in and soak up the sun.
Paxton walks by me and elbows me, albeit carefully, but still.
“You’re looking at him with heart eyes,” he whispers to me, a tiny secret smile on his face. I turn back to my man, who’s giving us a questioning look. Paxton smiles a little wider and shakes his head. “You two are so obvious.”
Something flashes in Milo’s eyes, something akin to recognition. He’s looking at me like he’s seeing our future.
I hope he likes what he sees.
Then, without warning, he’s clapping his hands together, trying to get everyone’s attention.
“Hey, everyone, hey, I have an announcement,” he calls out to the other guys in various states of undress.
What is he doing?
I look at him, my many questions obvious in my pinched brow.
Once he’s apparently gotten everyone’s attention, he looks at me as if gathering his strength. I try to give him moral support with just a look.
Is he..?
“I’m gay.”
Oh, wow.
He doesn’t say that we’re dating or that we’re in love, because that would mean outing me and we absolutely have not talked about this. But why can’t I come out to my team? I no longer have an overbearing agent demanding I keep both feet planted firmly in the closet.
I walk over to him with purpose and grab him. I hear movement behind me, like maybe they think I’m going to punch him or have some other horrible response to the love of my life coming out to our team.
But no.
I kiss him.
I grab his handsome face and kiss him like this is the end of the line and we have nothing left to lose.
We come up for air, and the locker room is silent. I wouldn’t have expected thunderous applause, but the air feels somber.
Brennan has this look in his eyes like he’s missing exactly what we have.
Oskar is staring at his feet, shuffling them a little.
Kirill’s face is set in a hard line, not happy but not really unhappy, just kind of neutral.
He meets my eyes before looking down at his skates.
Paxton’s face is flushed, and his eyes are wide.
I definitely don’t think he expected that.
What did we just do?