Chapter Sixteen Vanya
“I noticed you haven’t cashed in on the boudoir photos,” Ashley says accusingly when we finally park in my driveway.
“No time,” I say with a shrug. “I’ll do it during the holidays.”
“You took the next few days off to show me around, right?”
“Yes, of course.” I reach over and squeeze her shoulder. I don’t let myself dwell on how much I’ve missed her these last few months, but I can now admit how excited I am to spend time with my best friend.
We went to the same school from the first day of third grade until we both graduated from the University of Toronto. Two years after I moved to Boston for medical school, Ashley followed. Not only for me.
During one of her visits, Paul made his move. Within months, they were ready to shack up. Within two years, wedding bells were ringing.
It’s no secret that I am socially inept. Most people only put up with me because Ashley has always been a friend magnet who never leaves me out.
Now that I’m in Columbus, there’s no one to pull me away from work. I spend most of my nights at home because I’m either too tired or too hesitant to put myself out there. And then there’s the goalie across the street who takes up all my energy because I’m trying not to think of him. The comfort of Ashley’s visit, and the distraction it offers, comes at a perfect time.
When I lead her into my temporary home, I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t put any effort in personalizing my surroundings. I might as well have been here for a week instead of a few months.
But instead of noticing, exclaims. ““I booked both of us!”
“Huh?”
“The boudoir shoot! I booked us for while I’m here!”
“You’re kidding.” My eyes shift side to side like I’m looking for an escape. An escape from my houseguest who is standing in the middle of the living room. Not likely.
“It’ll be fun! You won’t be doing it alone. This will be part of my Christmas gift to Paul. Win-win-win!”
“Ummm, I can’t. I haven’t picked out any lingerie yet. But I’ll take you to the shoot, obviously.”
“Did I mention I haven’t picked out my lingerie either? We’re doing that tomorrow. So, what’s up for tonight?”
And just like that, we move on. This is what it’s like to have the most extroverted person in the world as your best friend. Years of her getting me out of my comfort zone.
Like I always do, I go along with Ashley’s whim. I wasn’t going to sign up for the boudoir photos any time soon, which is probably why she’s using the visit to prod me along.
Am I a bit relieved that I don’t have to call for myself? Sure. It’s definitely better than lying to her about using the gift when I don’t even know where to start. Besides, I can’t deny that Ashley’s spontaneity has created some notable adventures in my life.
“Well, tonight we have a few choices. There’s a nice sushi place that everyone is raving about. Or there’s a dinner we’re invited to.”
“I just came from the coast, Vanya. Not sure I’d put a lot of stock on sushi in Ohio. Where’s the dinner?”
“Across the street,” I blurt. “Anyway, let me show you to the guest room. It isn’t huge but—”
“Across the street? Jeremy Lopez’s house across the street?” Her high-pitched voice threatens to break glass, but that doesn’t stop Ashley from continuing. “Your goaltender patient with EDS—who also happens to be a sexy hockey player who loves getting under your skin—is making us dinner?”
“Yes to the dinner. Everything else you said can neither be confirmed nor denied,” I answer stubbornly.
“You forgot I’m a mind reader, Vanya. Not that your flustered speech every time I bring him up isn’t an indication, but your red face confirms what I’ve known for a while. You’re into this guy, aren’t you?”
“He’s my patient!”
“He’s your hot neighbor.”
“And my research subject!”
“There are many ways to research Jeremy Lopez,” she states with wiggling brows.
I sigh because that’s the other thing about Ashley. She picks up on all my cues. Imagine if she knew what happened in the basement!
“What are you not telling me?”
See? It’s uncanny.
“Um, dinner. Sure, let’s have dinner with—”
“Something happened between the two of you.”
“Ashley, stop. Here, I’ll help you unpack.”
“Tell me! Oh my god, you have to tell me. Did he make a move on you in your office?”
“Never!”
“Are you denying the move or the location?”
“Oh my god, how the hell do you do that? Fine. He was helping me with the heater downstairs and yes, something happened.”
“Is heater downstairs a metaphor? Like some kind of Midwest innuendo?”
I can’t help but chortle. “It’s literal. My heater wasn’t working, so he got it started.”
“I bet he did!”
We both laugh. For the first time since my encounter with Jeremy, I feel something other than shame at my lack of professionalism. Like a secret that bubbles up to the surface, my admission is freeing.
“We kissed and did a few more things,” I say demurely instead of I rode his face and then he came all over both of us. “It was hot, Ashley. As in maybe the most erotic experience I’ve ever had. And we didn’t even sleep together.”
The memory of our intimacy excites me in ways I’ve never felt for another man. Admitting it out loud comes with relief because Ashley won’t judge me.
“Oh my god, Vanya, that’s amazing! Wait. Is this a dinner date for the two of you and I’m the third wheel?”
“He’s my patient. I’m not dating him, Ashley. It happened once and it won’t happen again.”
“Who cares if he’s your patient? Can’t you sign some kind of consent form? How can you have the most erotic experience of your life and leave it at that?”
“You know why. I can’t compromise this study.”
That silences both of us for a few minutes. Cautiously, she reaches out to squeeze my hand.
“You do a lot for people with EDS, Vanya. You’ve done so much for me all these years. Intervening with my orthopedic troubles, creating treatment plans, offering your time and effort in ensuring the medical industry understands the gravity of this condition. Living your life is not going to compromise anything.”
“This isn’t my life. I’m only in Columbus temporarily, anyway. I can’t lose sight of what I’ve been trying to establish for years. With Jeremy as the main subject, public interest and funding will follow. My research lab will be a preeminent hub for EDS intervention. There will be nothing like it.”
She knows my goals are important to me. My career has taken center stage in all my decisions. Instead of pushing the issue, Ashley reaches out to give me a big hug. When our embrace ends, she locks our gazes.
“I’m so proud of you, Vanya. Proud and grateful that you’ve dedicated yourself to this cause that I’m benefiting from. That so many will benefit from. But as your best friend, as someone who would take a bullet for you—OK, maybe not a bullet but definitely a punch—let me say one thing. You deserve happiness above all else. If you shun away your chance to live a life fully , in the name of helping EDS patients, that will break my heart.” Her eyes glisten with emotion.
“I am living my full life, Ashley,” I say confidently even if her words stamp themselves inside me. A stamp with a large question mark. Am I living my life fully?
“I love my best friend more than I need my doctor. Do you understand?”
“I love my best friend more than I like being a doctor. Of course I understand.”
“Good. So let me get this straight. You’re not pursuing anything beyond your kiss, but he’s making you dinner?”
“This is a one-time thing. He was bragging about cooking Guatemalan food for some friends and we’re invited. End of story. I can say no.”
“Of course we’re going!”
“In that case, we’ll be crossing the street in,” I check my watch, “about an hour.”
“Soak your hair in the leave-in conditioner I brought. I’m blow drying it. And you better have shaved your legs. I know exactly the dress you’re wearing,” she states with the certainty that I will follow her instructions.
She’s as bossy as a tyrant, but I don’t mind because she understands me in a way no one else has ever bothered to. This isn’t the first time Ashley has chosen my wardrobe or forced me out of my comfort zone. Although I’m not sure if spending more time with Jeremy Lopez is a good idea, Ashley will be there. Even an awkward dinner is bearable if she’s part of it.