Chapter Twenty-Eight Vanya
I apologized as if my words wouldn’t wound his pride and cause my shame. How could I expect Jeremy—a man worthy of being loved openly and fully—to be a dirty little secret?
Although we’re still touching, with his hands on my hips and my cheek leaning on his head, there’s a gauntlet between us. He deserves to shine and all I can give him is the darkness of a forbidden affair. Only selfishness explains my offer of temporary sexual satisfaction and nothing else.
Appalled at how badly I’m handling the circumstances, how little I’m considering his feelings, how horribly I’ve muddled everything , I begin to pull away.
Jeremy keeps me close. “We have it your way, but I have one more condition.” Brown eyes hold me in place as much as his grip.
A slow nod is all I can manage.
“We’ll be discreet, and I won’t hold you back from your work, obviously, but we are together while you’re in Columbus.”
His statement makes me feel something like joy. And dread. “But why? Why would you sha-shackle yourself to someone like me when you could have anyone?”
“I don’t want anyone else.”
“But between now and October? Anything can happen. You could meet someone new. I don’t want to stop you from pursuing something more serious.”
The tiniest shrug is a small concession, like he barely registers the possibility. “I won’t.”
“What if you do?”
“You are the first woman I’ve wanted this much, Vanya. That’s no exaggeration. And if my entire adult life is any indication…” He pauses for a deep inhale. “No one else will do.”
Be still, my swooning heart.
“How about you? Are you planning to date someone else between now and October?” His question sounds more like a dare.
“You know the answer to that.”
He stands to cup my face with gentle hands. “I need to hear you say it, beautiful.”
“Wanting to be with you is the most unprecedented thing that’s happened in my very well-planned and laser-focused existence, Jeremy Lopez,” I state. “When I say you’re the only one who could ever tempt me to risk everything I’ve worked for, well, that’s no exaggeration.”
As if my words cast the spell that quiets all doubts and erases future consequences, Jeremy unleashes his passion. He places a strong grip at the back of my neck, pulling me till we’re melded. His mouth crashes on mine. A demanding tongue penetrates my depths with smooth, rhythmic glides. My sounds of pleasure are thoroughly devoured. Jeremy’s hands are everywhere, on my sides and cupping a breast, creeping lower to squeeze my ass, protecting me as he walks me backward to the bedroom.
Once inside, I’m suddenly conscious of how impersonal and plain the bedroom looks. The professor’s queen bed is framed by generic pinewood nightstands. The simple white duvet is rumpled, with my dark silk robe discarded carelessly over a corner. Other than a hairbrush and lip balm on top of a dresser and a laundry basket of dirty clothes, there’s almost nothing of me here.
It’s a reminder that whatever we’re starting has an end date.
I’m not sure if that’s depressing or reassuring, but I don’t have to decide right now. Not when Jeremy’s hand runs under my sweater to cup a tender breast. I’m clawing at his shirt, desperate to feel skin on skin. When my shirt and bra are tossed aside, Jeremy digs his fingers in my hair to grasp my scalp and hold me still. Lips parted and eyes ablaze, he meticulously scans my body.
“You’re so beautiful. I wasn’t even close to imagining how beautiful you are, Vanya.”
His mouth trails down my neck, over my collarbone, and along the top of my breasts. He sits on the bed so my nipples are eye level. Jeremy is muttering words of praise and pleasure. It’s impossible to hear correctly when all I can register is the heat of his mouth around a pert nipple, the graze of his teeth over tender roundness.
Jeremy buries his face between my breasts. Both hands grab from the side, pushing them together. He nuzzles and kisses and caresses.
“You taste like heaven,” he says before diving in and sucking each nipple in turn. Jeremy swirls his tongue and bites the underside of my heavy breasts. He sucks one so hard and deep, he’ll leave a mark. I want him to do it to the other side, too. Instead, he pulls away to catch my gaze.
“I’m taking my time later. But not right now. If I don’t get you naked, I’ll lose my head.”
Speechless with lust, all I can do is nod. Jeremy strips me to nothing but a quivering bundle of needy flesh. His mouth follows the path of the discarded fabric, peppering kisses along my sides, running a tongue over a hip, nipping the skin around my belly button.
He stands abruptly to spin me around so I’m facing the full-length mirror at the corner. Jeremy is behind, one hand on my sex with sensual circles over my throbbing clit. His other hand massages a breast that spills over his grip. His nose is buried in my neck but his eyes stare at our torrid reflection.
“Look at yourself, Vanya. Do you see why I can’t help myself? Do you see why you’re the only woman I want?” As he speaks, Jeremy rubs his hard cock between my buttocks, bending his knees and grinding against my flesh.
“Jeremy, please. Please.” I hold his forearms for leverage because the pleasure is making me weak. He traps my clit between two fingers and massages with confident strokes.
“No need to beg, Vanya. You know I’ll do anything you want. Need to come?”
I nod emphatically. My breasts bounce lewdly. My thighs squeeze. Jeremy’s mouth clamps on my shoulder to offer sensual suction just as his fingers quicken. Bliss hits like a truck, making me buck upward as my orgasm surges through me. Jeremy keeps me in place, prolonging my climax with steady, gentle pressure till I am utterly spent and limp.
He carries me to the bed, my pussy pulsing from the orgasm and from the desperation to be filled by his cock.
Unbuckling his belt and shoving his pants down, Jeremy presents me with his long, hard cock. It feels so right to be naked on the bed while Jeremy looks down at me intently. I’m reminded of how he stands in front of the net, concentration and control emanating from every inch of his powerful body.
“I don’t carry condoms with me,” he declares. “Do you have any?”
“I’m on birth control.” My answer rings in the room.
He crawls on the bed, shoulders and arms taut as muscles ripple under his skin. When he’s on top of me and lined up to my entrance, I grab his ass. Jeremy pushes in with languid swirls. My channel adjusts to his size.
“Fuck, you’re so wet. I want to take my time with you, Vanya. But it’s too good.”
I agree. It’s too incredible to hold back. My fingers dig into his perfect bottom as I thrust up. Jeremy shoves in hard till I’m completely filled. We groan in unison at the tight fit. He moves with wild abandon, plundering my depths to the beat of my increasingly erratic heart. The friction of our crashing bodies takes us closer and closer to the edge of climax.
“Tell me how much you love this,” he demands.
“I love you inside me,” I say between his thrusts. “I need you inside me.”
He slows down to kiss me hard. Jeremy continues the agonizingly languid swirl of his hips while leaning down to suck one nipple and then the other.
“Show me how much you need me, Vanya,” he says before pulling me over his body. My legs brace over his sculpted torso. When I’m fully straddling him, he grunts, “Ride me.”
I look down at his molten chocolate eyes, heavily hooded by dark lashes. There’s no choice but to chase the pleasure of his hardness, to grind over him like our lives depend on it.
“Oh my god, Jeremy. You feel so perfect. I can’t stop.” My heavy breasts bounce. I ride him hard and deep.
“Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.” His demands taper off when my channel squeezes in pulses so strong, we’re both speechless.
He presses the back of his head on the pillow, exposing the vulnerable pulse points and the hard muscles of his neck. Jeremy holds my gaze and grabs my hips possessively as he pumps upward. Watching him fall apart is the sexiest sight I’ve ever witnessed. The surge of heat from his explosion triggers another detonation inside me.
I had no idea it was possible to be in perfect harmony with another person. The revelation sucks all the energy from my limbs. I slump over his chest.
Jeremy lays me sideways so we’re face to face then reaches over my shoulder to gather me close. The pulse on his neck is right there. I lay my lips on it. Jeremy moans and rubs my back. The tender affection of his touch affects me almost as much as the mind-blowing climax. I’m tempted to admit how much I’ve wanted this. The sex, yes, but also intimacy with Jeremy. The quiet understanding that you both don’t want to be anywhere else.
Although nothing changes the fact that I can’t give him more than these stolen moments of passion, there’s an honesty to admitting that he is more than a secret fling. So, if not casual sex, what exactly is this ? Am I ready to find out?
I jump off the bed, because the answer is no, I can’t allow myself to think beyond the here and now.
“I’ll be right back,” I explain while walking to the bathroom. Shutting the door and taking a deep breath, I gather some composure.
“Vanya, is everything OK?” Jeremy is outside the door, rightfully concerned about my erratic behavior.
“Just cleaning up.”
“See you in bed,” he says sleepily.
When I come out, he’s fixed the bed and pulled the comforter from one side in a clear invitation for me to slip in beside him. So that’s what I do.
Our bodies join and limbs tangle without hesitation. Like we’ve been holding each other for years instead of for the first time.