Chapter 15 #2
Soon enough, I was free of my clothes, stifling a moan the instant my foot touched the warm water. I latched myself onto the edge as the pain started to diminish.
My eyes found the muscles of his back where the water stopped just below his shoulder blades, the lines of him shifting gently with each breath. He submerged under the water before coming back up, droplets hovering over his broad and smooth back before sliding down in thin, glistening trails.
I gulped. “You can turn around now.”
He turned, a few beads of water running down his hair to his nose, rolling all the way to his chin before landing in the pool. I imitated his previous position, letting my hair sink into the water, my eyelids closing.
My body began to feel revived as pain melted away, soothing areas I didn’t know were tense. The absence of it almost felt wrong, like silence after endless noise.
Tears swelled in the back of my eyes, as a strange moment washed over me, and my own voice betrayed me. “I might die when the next game starts.”
It was then that I realized the truth of it.
The water parted for him as he approached, though he still kept his distance from me. He watched me silently.
A rebellious tear began to roll down my cheek, but I plunged my head into the pool, letting the water wipe away the salty evidence.
So pathetic.
When I resurfaced, Eros was observing me, his gaze lingering with an unnerving stillness. It felt as though he was probing my thoughts, as though he was struggling to understand what I was thinking.
“You exhibit neither happiness nor anger. You seem to be content with your current state. For what reason?”
I grit my teeth. My first instinct was to question his assessment, but then I recalled his earlier words about being sustained by love and hatred, which meant he could easily detect both.
I shrugged, acting uninterested by what I was about to share. “I tried feeling both before and none of it changed the course of my life.”
“You are deserving of happiness. Why be satisfied with less when you can aspire to more? Dreams cause no harm, but nightmares do, and it seems you are willingly compelling yourself into living one.”
His words stung like a knife in my chest, and they still managed to anger me.
I was choosing to live in a nightmare? I almost huffed at that.
Like I ever had any choice to begin with.
It wasn’t in my power to change the course of my life.
I tried, and I failed. He was in no place to judge me for the way I lived.
I frowned, and my body remained glued to the side of the pool as I looked at him. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out, no matter how many times my tongue rose to the roof of my mouth.
“If being happy was a choice and the answer to everyone’s problems, how come you’re not?
” He opened his mouth as if he was preparing to speak, but I interrupted him before he could.
“I should go rest,” I announced, before walking out of the water and retrieving my clothes, not caring if he saw my exposed silhouette as I made my way back inside.
The morning was still and quiet when I stealthily slipped out of bed, grateful that the ground beneath me didn’t protest the way the floor in my assigned chamber always did.
Tugging on my shirt, I glanced at Eros, who was sleeping peacefully with a long pillow between his arms and knees.
I decided then that I preferred him this way: not talking and prying into my personal life for sport—assuming that I even preferred him in any way.
With a sigh, I massaged my temples.
A rebellious strand of hair rested on his forehead, merging with the shining light of the morning. His lips, pouting at his dream, released a soft exhale into the calm air.
Last night, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.
I wasn’t sure if it was even humanly possible to drift off that fast, and I didn’t care if Eros realized I was faking it as long as he didn’t try to talk to me about what went down in the pool.
So when the mattress twitched lightly under his weight, my breath caught in my chest and in the room I heard a quiet, “Good night, mortal,” before a swift air extinguished the candles and brought dark night upon us.
I pushed the memory aside, and my soles met the floor with a whisper as I tiptoed to the glass wall, welcoming the touch of the sun against my skin. I purred under the sensation and against all odds and circumstances, a smile lifted on my lips.
This—because of this moment right here—life is somewhat tolerable.
Despite my occasional resentment of my poverty, I was mostly content not to have inherited wealth or nobility.
Money, though presented as only a coin of exchange, meant much more—it ruled over presidents, kings, and even gods.
Money guided judgment, actions, words, and its influence was as unforgiving as a poison, urging those who got a taste to chase for more.
Money would make you yearn for a brand new phone, designer clothes, and a fancy car, but once you had those things, they’d become meaningless, and you would move onto wishing for castles and yachts.
It was a self-induced competition with no finish line.
Again and again, money would make you race for more.
Those like me, who had never known the advantages of wealth, found joy in the simplicity of life, making the most of what they had—even in something as ordinary as relishing the sun. I profoundly pitied those who never learned how to appreciate the things they didn’t have to work hard to get.
I lingered for a moment longer, savoring the stillness.
A sigh rolled from my lips. It would be so easy to wake up to a new day like this—to the silent, comforting morning.
I couldn’t recall the last time dawn hadn’t emerged with my mother’s repeated words.
Or my father’s grunts as he struggled to walk out of the house.
My muscles tensed. I had to leave. From the corner of my eye, I took one last glance at Eros before urging myself to walk away. I was not yet prepared to admit it, but he was quite attractive; unlike his constant prying questions.
Slipping out of his bedroom, I clicked the door shut behind me. The tour from yesterday proved helpful as I navigated the hallway, easily finding the stairs to the first floor. I crept downward, welcoming the sight of the front door.
When I first woke this morning, I had contemplated remaining until he stirred, rather than departing like a regretful lover—although I couldn’t claim to be familiar with that experience, having only read about it in books—but I knew there was no reason to stay.
What could we possibly say to each other?
He’d wake up to the sound of my fuss, his eyes still adjusting to the sunlight streaming through the window.
He’d offer a sleepy smile before his scratchy voice croaked out a “Good morning” and I’d greet him the same.
For a moment, we’d stare at each other and then, too crushed by the silence, I’d get up, mutter my goodbye and leave.
I was simply avoiding an unnecessary and awkward interaction, I told myself. If anything, I did a favor to both of us.
I reached the end of the stairs, and the smell of pancakes wafted through the air, my stomach responding with a loud growl.
Approaching the kitchen, my eyes widened at the sight of a plate brimming with pancakes and several topping jars alongside it.
My head turned, seeking any sign of a servant and half expecting to find Eros standing right behind me.
There was no one there.
A detour to enjoy breakfast would do no harm and it would be profane to let such a dish turn cold. With my mind made up, I took a seat on the chair but paused when I saw a note beside the food. I clutched it between my fingers and began to read.
I grabbed a pancake and stuffed it into my mouth, a few crumbs landing on the note. A moan forced itself out at the heavenly taste.
What the hell do they put into his food to make it taste so good?
My eyes skittered over the message again as I had been too lost in the pancakes to truly pay attention to it the first time. His invitation was a relief. I wouldn’t have to show up at his door like a stalker again.
As I scanned the note once more, my tongue darted out, retrieving a tiny crumb from my lip. I relaxed, the solitude allowing me to be carefree.
Looking around the living room, I saw the familiar arrangement of chairs and tables before my gaze landed on the now vacant walls. I couldn’t help but chuckle, covering my mouth with a hand. The walls were as naked as he was in those paintings.
When did he have time for all of this? For the breakfast and removing the paintings? I would’ve heard if he slipped out of bed.
Chewing my lip, my expression faded and my gaze drifted away.
Yesterday, when Eros suggested it, I had silently scoffed, not believing for a second that he’d actually go through with it, and I hadn’t wanted him to either.
Not for me, at least. It was his house, and he could decide how to decorate it.
Sure, it wasn’t a pleasant view for a guest or family member, but since he admitted only lovers came to his house, I imagined it wasn’t an issue.
When I returned tonight, I would make sure to tell him he shouldn’t change his house for me. This was just a temporary thing, and we both knew it. So there was no point in tweaking things to my liking.
I let out a sigh, cramming another pancake in my mouth as I headed to the exit. To my surprise, 226688 was already there as promised.
He spiraled upward, the sound of his wings a soft whir. I shut the door behind me with a shake of my head. When he was done, the fairy smiled widely at me.
I glanced back at the door, my nostrils twitching and shoulders dropping. “Don’t even get me started. How am I even supposed to pretend to be in love with him? I just met him.”
226688 ushered closer. “Charisma, this is serious. No matter how you feel about him, you have to make sure he believes you.”
I sighed. “Come on, take me back.”