Chapter 9
Revna
We returned to Bhorglid with little fanfare.
Our small delegation stood in the courtyard of the castle silently. S?ren lingered on the edge of the group, unwilling to step between us. The events of the night before weighed heavy on everyone, and I refused to make eye contact with my friends.
I knew what I’d find on their faces. Fear. Disgust. Things I couldn’t bear.
Arne finally spoke up. “Allowing him to stay here is a bad idea.”
S?ren clenched one hand into a fist. He had a bag of his things slung over one shoulder.
I wondered if the mask was in there or if he’d left it at the Kryllian palace.
Surely he remembered who Arne had once been to me—he’d been spying on us at the Sharpened Axe the night we discovered Arne had been conscripted.
The urge to use my Lurae to humble my ex-lover was surprisingly distant.
I hadn’t slept at all the night before, my mind turning the explosion of my magic in the ballroom over and over until there was nothing left but my grief and shame.
And when I needed relief, I’d instead been assaulted by memories of S?ren’s body beneath me while I held my knife to his throat.
Maybe I should have killed him last night, I thought. But even that brought me only exhaustion. I had chosen to let him live, and I’m sure I would regret it later.
I spoke aloud and signed, “You’re right. It’s only fair if one of our people stays in Kryllian for three weeks, too. I take it you’re volunteering?”
He glowered. Astrid huffed a laugh, and I thought I caught the hint of a smirk as it disappeared from S?ren’s face. Freja waved a hand to catch our attention. “None of us are happy about this, Arne. But unlike our previous monarch, Revna is actually doing what’s best for the people. Including you.”
“He’s a spy!” Arne was growing incensed now, his anger spilling from him. “He’s here to report back to his queen on what he learns about our plans, our people. So that when she decides to bring her army in again and truly decimate us this time, we won’t have any hope of resisting.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I snapped, my patience fraying. “But our options were war right now, today, or the possibility of war in the future. If you enjoyed your time on the front lines so much, you’re welcome to go back to the wastes.”
His lip curled. “You’re responsible for everyone in Bhorglid now. And you’d rather take your power and reign supreme than make the smart choice.”
“Go home, Arne,” I said. Threads began to wind their way through the air, and I blinked, hoping they would disappear. No luck. “I don’t need your gratitude or your understanding, much less your approval. I earned this power when I killed my brothers.”
He shook his head. But as he started walking away, he called back, “Your throne means nothing if the people don’t want you sitting on it.”
“That,” Volkan sighed, “went about as well as I expected.” He readjusted his bag and clapped S?ren on the shoulder. “Let me show you to your room.”
When the two were out of earshot, Freja turned to me. She wouldn’t meet my eyes either, and I kept my own gaze glued to her hands while she signed. “Arne is right—the scholar is probably a spy.”
I thought about laughing, but couldn’t muster the energy. “Of course he’s a spy.”
I’d like to see you choose, I wanted to scream. Train again with the man you thought you loved or send your people to war. I’m in an impossible position, and the only way to save us all is by sacrificing my own heart.
Freja just said, “Be careful. Don’t tell him too much.”
Silently, I gathered my own belongings and stepped toward the castle doors. Freja wouldn’t believe my assurances, but she had no need to worry.
I didn’t plan on telling S?ren anything.
An hour later, when he knocked on my door, calling for me to join him to start training, I stared at my ceiling and said nothing.
Firelight lit the dim space. When I looked up at the ceiling of the cave, wiping sweat off my forehead, the hole in the rock gave space to the starry night sky. Exhaustion weighed down my bones, but this wasn’t any typical tiredness. Sleep would not be enough to solve it, I knew.
Shaking my head, I went back to the task at hand. Metal glowed on the table in front of me, and I adjusted my grip on the knife I held. With a deep breath, I sliced across my forearm until blood pooled and then dripped onto the hot metal with a sizzle.
Distantly I knew—I was dreaming. This wasn’t real. But I had no control over the motions of my body. Who was I? And why was I in the forge the Hellbringer had brought me to during our time together?
I bandaged the wound and pulled on heavy, heatproof gloves. Then, I hefted a hammer and began to shape a weapon. The blade came together over long hours that felt like minutes. When it cooled, I studied it with a sigh.
“A blade to slay an immortal,” I murmured aloud. Morning sunlight glinted on the sword. “A Soulcleaver.”
Internally, I paused. I’d seen that blade before. It belonged to the Queen of Kryllian.
Was I dreaming of the queen?
Three pounding knocks against my door startled me awake.
I sat up in bed with a gasp, sweat pouring down my face.
The percussive beat of the sound sent throbbing pain through my skull in time with my Lurae song.
Threads spiraled out in every direction, coating the whole room in gold.
“Revna!” a gruff voice called. “Open this godsdamned door!”
My hands trembled. No time to think over the dream, only to reassure myself: it wasn’t real, I was safe in the castle.
I shook my head, as if it would dislodge the sight of the cave behind my eyes.
The only thing it truly accomplished was making a few threads disappear while the others blurred together in a tangled mess.
“Coming,” I called, startled by the hoarseness of my voice.
Quickly, I threw on a tunic and pants, stepping into my boots but not bothering to tie the laces before I opened the door.
It caught on the chain lock. I’d installed it myself after waking up to find the Hellbringer watching me while I slept.
Had installed them on all the doors in the castle, actually.
Something to keep my hands busy while my Lurae ate away at me from the inside.
Halvar glared at me from the hall. “Let me in, Revna.”
The dread that made its home in my stomach reared its head, accompanied by Mother’s lullaby.
Talking to Jac was the last thing I wanted to do right now—especially when I knew exactly what he was going to say.
But it was impossible not to hear the threat underneath those words, one he intended to follow through with if I didn’t oblige him now.
I swallowed and unlatched the door. The moment it closed behind him, Jac shed Halvar’s skin. The disguise dripped from him quickly, erasing inches of height and broadness in moments. “I can’t do this anymore. You have to tell her the truth.”
“I can’t.” I didn’t meet Jac’s eyes. We’d been back from Kryllian for four days.
I’d spent most of those hiding in my room, ignoring everyone who knocked or pandering with poor excuses.
Jac knew what had happened in Kryllian, knew of the queen’s ultimatum.
He wasn’t happy about either. “I promised you this would be over when the treaty was signed.”
His hands curled into fists, and it was almost relieving. Anger was a swift, sharp blade. It wasn’t the dull, never-ending pain of disappointment or sorrow. I roused a bit in response to it.
“You’re a coward. The only reason you haven’t confessed is because you can’t stand the idea of what Freja will think of you. This isn’t about the good of the Nilurae anymore. In fact, I wonder if it ever was.”
“You weren’t there that night,” I said, forcing my voice to stay calm.
My Lurae rushed under my skin, held back by sheer force of will.
“Can’t you see it in Freja’s and Volkan’s faces?
In Arne’s face? They fear me. Without Halvar on my side to convince the Nilurae they can trust me, we might as well set the treaty on fire right now. ”
Jac ran his hands roughly through his hair, pulling at the roots. “Arne is suspicious, Rev. He knows something strange is going on. He can tell I’m not Halvar.”
“What?” My chest tightened. “That’s…Has he said something?”
Jac shook his head. “Not yet, but he’s been asking questions.
Constantly wants to reminisce about the past, about things he and Halvar did together.
But he’s testing me. Waiting for me to slip up.
Freja hasn’t figured it out, so I doubt he has either, but it’s only a matter of time.
” My brother’s anger faded faster than it had arrived.
“I don’t want to do this anymore. This isn’t what I came back for. ”
I swallowed the guilt tightening in my throat. “I swear to you, this won’t be forever.”
He laughed, a harsh, vicious sound. “Won’t it? Because you’ve had a magic tutor sitting in our library for four days. One whose sole purpose is to train you to use your Lurae. And how many times have you worked with him?”
I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. More than anything, I wanted to tell Jac who S?ren was—why I was really avoiding him.
But no one could know. It was dangerous for Volkan to know the truth, even.
No matter how much the Nilurae hated me now, it was nothing compared to what would happen if the people found out the Hellbringer was in their midst.
I nearly chuckled thinking about it. A queen couldn’t unify our people, but a common enemy just might.
When I didn’t reply, Jac shook his head, allowing his eyes to drift closed. I wondered what he was holding back. “I’m not physically capable of doing this for much longer, even if I did want to. Moping in bed isn’t an option anymore. Get off your ass and go find the scholar.”
He turned to leave. “Jac,” I called. My brother hesitated, arms crossed. “I’m sorry. It was unfair of me to ask this of you. I mean it when I say the truth will come out once the treaty is signed. And then you’re free to live your life. I won’t ask anything more of you.”
My eyes burned, but I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I massaged my temples, hoping to push back the emotion until he left. My head throbbed. But when the door didn’t creak open, I glanced up. “What—oof.”
Jac’s arms wrapped me in a hug so tight, I could hardly breathe. He was still taller than me without his disguise, but it shocked me to discover my feet dangled a couple of inches from the ground. Had he grown that strong, or was I truly wasting away so significantly?
“You can’t do this by yourself,” he said. His words were shaky, and when I wrapped my arms around him to reciprocate, I wondered if a stray tear was making its way down his cheek, too. “We’re all on your side. But we can only help you if you let us in.”
I nodded, pressing my face into his shoulder.
After a long moment, he set me down and stepped back.
The transformation took over him again, and Halvar smiled down at me.
“Go find the scholar before he gets bored,” he said, ruffling my hair as he strode to the door.
“The man must have read our entire library by now.”